Nearly fell over to see my name on here, thank god I've moved countries.
Am happy to explain my experiences though.
First one was an orgy when I was 27 had come out of a relationship and just wanted to experiment. I met two men through the Internet, and met in a hotel when I was working in London one week, just had a drink and a chat as they wanted to get to know me. They wanted to have sex that night but didn't push it, but invited me to a meet another like minded single woman the following month. I was kind of interested in the sex with 2 men, and with a bigger older woman. And they knew someone who fitted the bill. They were 50 and 60 years old. I talked on the phone with them a lot, they were polite and I thought quite open about their business etc.
I was worried about safety but stupidly went ahead. The most shameful thing I did was leave a message on my own answering machine apologizing to my brother and his family incase something happened and they found out who and why, and also to leave the details of the address so they knew where.
Anyhow I turned up and the girl was lovely, but the house was sordid, but i was coked off my tits and kind of committed.
One of the guys had just shaved this woman and wanted to shave me with the same razor, I said no and he seemed a bit pissed off. So we got down to it, and the lady was lovely, I was quite into her but the guys stripped down and had suspenders and stockings on which was a bit off-putting, however they made me feel a bit naive so I ignored it.
Anyhow during the act one of the guys kept trying to enter me anally and I kept saying no, then he was having really hard jabbing intercourse and I felt like he was accidentally trying to have anal sex. So I asked if he could stop. The other lady did too. So he just sat on a chair and wanked. I heard a noise and then the door opened and another guy came in, he was disabled and I think the idea was that he would have a wank perhaps because of his disability the lady and I would put a bit of a show on for him. I had no idea about this and then after hearing the door close found out that there were two more men in the bloody house! So it wouldn't have taken much to overpower me or this girl had we gotten a bit miffed about the other bloke joining in and the guy who stuck his head round the door.
Anyhow, by this stage we were mainly finished, I didn't have sex with the other guy and it wasn't at all like the fantasy I had in my head, it was sad, business like, it overstepped the boundaries and although it was safe, I still went and got tested after having a killer dose of thrush after it that wouldn't go away.
We went and got dressed and when I was in the bathroom the lady, who was lovely, came in and asked to exchange numbers privately so we didn't have to do this again. She had given them a false name, as had I.
Turns out we had all lied, she was married with 3 kids and a husband who didn't know she was bisexual. The two other men had at marriages of about 30 years each but whose wives didn't want to have sex or get involved and they also used false names too.
So as for being consensual, well it wasn't for the unsuspecting wives or husbands at home with their kids and as for safe...hmmmm I still don't know but have a gut instinct that i was being filmed, they had told me it was at one of their own houses, but it was the disabled guys house, they said it would be the three of them but there were at least 3 more men in the house possibly watching? When it got to the sex act, feeling were taken over with carnal requirements and they pretended they didn't hear my request not to do certain things.
So, they went back to their wives and families, and I went home and just felt disgusted with myself. Even though they were quite nice people. Well on the first few meetings impression I guess, you never really know who some one is, but if you date them for a bit and get to know their background I'm sure it allows your instinct to feel safer with a person.
And yes intimacy wasn't important but my opinion and feelings were about as cared for had I just been a watermelon with a hole cut out i felt. They weren't aggressive just tried to make me feel a bit small and silly.
I am sure I am not the first one and probably won't be the last. I have a vanilla sex life now, but I know all the boundaries and feel safe that my husband won't stray outside them if they aren't agreed first.
Sorry if it is such a long post, but it isn't what it is cracked up to be. I am the one who accompanied her friend to the swingers club too if you want to hear about that experience. Seems to me that a few people (out of a minority) have posted not very nice experiences, a couple of women on mn have been coerced by their older husbands to go so that their husbands can meet younger women. One got a nasty disease like mine, and I remember nikkis post, I am sure the woman was apologetic at being aggressive but that is hardly mutual consent either is it.