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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think swinging is URRGH!?

640 replies

TurkeyBurgerThing · 13/01/2011 10:44

There is are two couples on This Morning just now talking about their love for swinging. They're just your normal looking every day couples. One couple own a swinging hotel and they do to clubs.

I find this really sleazy and just plain weird. She's saying that it's really common amongst primary school teachers too!!

Eeeew I bet they'll be swapping after the show.

AIBU to think this is a very strange thing to do and be so open about?

OP posts:
LadyOfTheManor · 15/01/2011 12:57

You had sex with another man while you were pregnant? Good gosh.

MissQue · 15/01/2011 13:05

Hang on a minute!!!! Swinging parties aren't all about a woman laying there and taking man after man, unless she wants it to be! The parties I went to were more about the foreplay than actual penetration, and decent swingers will most certainly use condoms at all times. There can be a lot of eroticism, fetishism and good clean fun involved too, it's not about gangbanging, that's a different thing altogether.

On the subject of pregnancy, it's starting to sound like some of you are insinuating that making love to a pregnant woman is akin to paedophilia, what the hell???? Did you have sex with your partner while pregnant? Did you really think he was fantasising about having sex with an unborn and not a curvy, beautiful pregnant woman? That sounds pretty nasty to me.

LadyOfTheManor · 15/01/2011 13:09

It sounds nasty to me that anyone but the father of an unborn baby would want to have sex with the mother.

It sounds worse that the woman appeared to be "up for it".

It actually sickens me and I am by no means a prude. But I do have standards and self respect.

I hate women that flaunt bare pregnant bellies (y'no outside of the swinging clubs).

MissQue · 15/01/2011 13:13

But when you think about it, you are at your womanliest when pregnant. Your body is doing what nature intends, and it creates amazing curves, as well as bigger boobs, why would it be so wrong for men to like seeing a woman blooming?

I don't particularly like bare pregnant bellies out in public, I find it a bit chavvy, but it's a matter of whatever you want to do really isn't it.

LadyOfTheManor · 15/01/2011 13:18

Well for me, "men" seeing me like that, is wrong.

My dh and father seeing me like that is fine, because it's his baby that's causing the "blooming".

TBH after about 8 months sex was off the menu until my ds was born. Can't imagine queuing up and being taken one after the other. I just find it horrific a little unsavoury.

Gay40 · 15/01/2011 13:21

Again, I just think: if it's all consenting adults etc.

I just object to the "we were virgins when we got married and never been with anyone else and never would" brigade being held up as some sort of gold standard a bit irritating.
If it works for you and you are happy, grand.
If you want to go to swingers clubs and everyone's happy, grand.
STOP putting some sort of twisted moral slant on it all.

ledkr · 15/01/2011 13:23

yes thanks fb i am currently 38 wks pg and have regular sex with my dh however it is his child and we have sex when im not pg too so therefore it is not a preference of his to have me pregnant i just happen to be pregnant.I was asking that if the gentleman prefers the lady pg is this due to a,her shape b,the turn on that she is pg and therefore "belongs to someine else" or c,the fact that she has a baby inside her.My dh isn having sex with me and the fact i am pg is not part of the turn on,if it is yes i would be concerned that the presence of a baby turned on a man.
As for my daughter,just because i would prefer her no to be fucked from behind by various men does not mean i would prefer her to have a boring sex life,i would prefer her to have self esteem and an equal sexual relationship with someone she loves,gosh does that make me a bad person.Also fb you have repeatedly refered to monogs as vanilla and mundane as have others.

ledkr · 15/01/2011 13:24

soeey is not isn

ledkr · 15/01/2011 13:25

haha sorry not soeey i am developing a new language here

LadyOfTheManor · 15/01/2011 13:27

If Vanilla means to not go to seedy little clubs and get "fucked" by strangers when you are with child or without. Then I am happy to be Vanilla. In fact I choose Vanilla.

fbwife · 15/01/2011 13:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyOfTheManor · 15/01/2011 13:30

So you'd say that you husband doesn't satisfy you, just him alone? (not just a one off, I'm referring to satisfying your sexual appetite).

roseability · 15/01/2011 13:36

'can you imagine the sweating, the grunting and the squelching, not to mention the minge juice and overpowering smell of condoms'

Stop it! I was going to shag my dh tonight but now I might read my book instead Grin

ledkr · 15/01/2011 13:41

fb you had kind of answered my question sorry,if it is the curves they find attractive and not the baby then why not just choose a curvacious woman but fair enough,but if it was the baby(and just because your hubbyis doesnt that doesnt mean its not the kink for all pg women fanciers)even you would have to admit that this would be worrying.Also i have always found that as it was my dh baby he would be gentle and caring about tender boobs etc.i would be concerned that a stranger would not.
I dont think anyone on here is bothered what other people get up to but we have been forced to defend our relationships as the other camp have attacked them.

EmmaBemma · 15/01/2011 14:11

leQueen

"I just don't want to watch fugly people with stupid hair fondling similarly fugly people with stupid hair, on a cheap draylon sofa under a low wattage bulb"

Well... don't, then. Or is that too obvious?

I don't understand what the big whup is here. Some people like to fuck other people whilst they're in a relationship, some don't. So long as everyone involved is in agreement, what's the problem?

LadyOfTheManor · 15/01/2011 14:13

Some people like to inject heroin in their arms too, doesn't mean I like the idea of it, nor is it something I would encourage others to do.

EmmaBemma · 15/01/2011 14:16

For a start, your analogy is laughably rubbish, but also - I don't see any of the swingers here encouraging people to try it out. I've always assumed it's one of those things you're either into or you're not. FWIW, I'm not, but you sneery lot clutching your pearls are getting on my nerves.

LadyOfTheManor · 15/01/2011 14:17

Well it seems you are the one to define it by class, not I.

The AIDS risk is just as high in regards to my analogy.

EmmaBemma · 15/01/2011 14:20

it's "in regard to", as any self respecting forehead-flicker should know.

I wasn't talking about class - I'm sure Hyacinth Bucket has a string of pearls or two - more a particular brand of knee-jerk moralising.

LadyOfTheManor · 15/01/2011 14:22

Moralising is the key word when discussing swingers. Thank you for raising it :o

NimpyWindowmash · 15/01/2011 14:38

Blimey it's taken me most of the day to read this thread.

What's a forehead-flicker? - I think I find that idea more worrying than swinging.

Personally my DH and I LOVE the idea of swinging BUT have never done it. It's a bit of fun to have fantasies to turn each other on, but we find no need to actually do it. Which is lucky really, as after 3 DC, my body is in no fit state to put on show to the general public.

It's interesting that this had deteriorated into a slanging match, which usually happens when people get a bit irrational and just have to work so hard to justify their position. Like those funny people that get really worked up about Cow and Gate. To have such a dramatic stance on something is just so revealing.

LadyOfTheManor · 15/01/2011 14:59

I am the forehead flicker...from another thread...nothing sexual implied!

PeeringIntoTheWintryVoid · 15/01/2011 15:17
FattyArbuckel · 15/01/2011 15:20

Swinging is v popular now in the village I grew up in - lots of the primary school mums are into it.

I am quite weirded out by that to be honest but then each to his/her own.

UnquietDad · 15/01/2011 15:47

How do you know? Just out of curiosity? It surely isn't the kind of thing people talk about on the school run.