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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Child injured at school

193 replies

lollipop69 · 12/01/2011 21:32

AIBU....my DS aged 12 returned home from school yesterday with one side of the hair on his head, both eyebrows and one set of eyelashes totally singed! This had happened because another student had sprayed a can of deodorant and lit it with a lighter. She did this over her shoulder and unfortunately did not see him behind her. The large flame hit his head and caused the injuries listed above. I was livid. The school phoned me and explained the same story and said the girl had been suspended for four days. AIMBU in my actions which are that I have called the police and reported this as an assault (all be it accidental). This incident has left DS quite traumatised in that last night he woke twice having nightmares surrounding the incident.

OP posts:
beakysmum · 12/01/2011 21:35

Gosh that's awful. Don't know what to say, but I would be devastated if it were my DS.

Thingumy · 12/01/2011 21:36

YANBU

Even though it wasn't a direct assault,it was a very dangerous accident and I hope the police pull this girl over the coals for taking in a dangerous 'weapon',she obviously had some intent by combining a flammable liquid with a naked flame.

I hope your ds feel better soon Sad

MotherSnowyMountainGoat · 12/01/2011 21:36

Of course YANBU, why didn't the school call the police? This is a criminal act, accidental or not. How old was the girl?

We had an act of bullying recently in DD's class (12-13 yo) where a boy could have been seriously injured/killed, but wasn't (attempted strangling). The school called the police, instigated charges and gave him a formal warning (actually, we're in Germany and the age of criminal responsibility is 14, so it was the parents who were formally charged).

3littlefrogs · 12/01/2011 21:37

What was she doing with a lighter in school?

Your poor DS - that must have been a terrifying experience.

Have you taken photos and has he been examined by a doctor?

I would be livid too.

Original poster
lollipop69 · 12/01/2011 21:37

I was so angry but to see what it has done to him emotionally is so much worse. I would never have thought that something so awful could happen to any of my DC at school!

OP posts:
ScarlettWalking · 12/01/2011 21:38

That is absolutely awful I am so sorry.

Original poster
lollipop69 · 12/01/2011 21:39

The child that did it was 12/13. I have taken photos etc. Thanks for all your comments. The school just wanted me to leave it as they said the girl was traumatised by what she had done to my DS

OP posts:
WimpleOfTheBallet · 12/01/2011 21:39

No YANBU she needs to learn a lesson she could have KILLED him.

So sorry for you and him of course.

TheCrackFox · 12/01/2011 21:40

How awful - thank goodness it was just his hair that was singed.

How old was the girl?

reelingintheyears · 12/01/2011 21:40

Jesus fucking Christ,she could have blinded him.
Yes call the Police.
She should be charged with assault.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 12/01/2011 21:40

Of course the bloody school wanted you to leave it...wont look good in the paper will it? Or generally!

Bugger them and her...silly little cow she was. WHat child does that!

Thingumy · 12/01/2011 21:41

Yeah, I bet she was Hmm.

I'd push for damages and teach the little shit a lesson

3littlefrogs · 12/01/2011 21:41

Well good. I am glad she is traumatised. Hopefully she will never do anything so stupid and dangerous again.

finallyfree · 12/01/2011 21:41

Your poor DS!!! 4 days suspension??? is that all?? she has commited gbh and should be charged whether she meant to or not!!! Hope your DS is ok and btw perhaps put the wind up the school and say they failed to safeguard your child.... Watch them quake!!

Original poster
lollipop69 · 12/01/2011 21:41

The crackfox - she was 12/13. Just by him losing half the length off his eye lashes showed how close it was to going into his eyes

OP posts:
3littlefrogs · 12/01/2011 21:43

Your DS will be entitled to Criminal injuries compensation. Not much comfort I know, but he should get around £1000 and could buy himself something nice.

herbietea · 12/01/2011 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TheMonster · 12/01/2011 21:44

YANBU. That is such dangerous behaviour, even if the girl wasn't pointing it at anyone. If I were you I would be getting on to the police as well.

3littlefrogs · 12/01/2011 21:46

Being excluded is actually quite fun - staying in bed late, watching TV, playing computer games....

A boy at Ds's school, excluded for stabbing another child with a sharpened stick, spent his exclusion threatening his victims by phone and text message.

His mother was Chair of the PA, so he was never disciplined at school.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 12/01/2011 21:46

Yes...that's right herbietta! Tell DS about that...it takes ages to get but he should get something.

I hope your DS hair grows back nice and fast...horrible girl!

Original poster
lollipop69 · 12/01/2011 21:46

I am considering pursuing damages. I have e mailed the head of school and when he gets back to me I will definately be mentioning the safeguarding of my DS. I will find out what the police will do tomorrow night when they come and take statement

OP posts:
3littlefrogs · 12/01/2011 21:47

My point being that it is entirely reasonable to involve the police.

Original poster
lollipop69 · 12/01/2011 21:48

Thank you . I feel a little better knowing that so many others would act in entirely the same way!

OP posts:
animula · 12/01/2011 21:48

The school will want you to leave it. I can think of an incident of sexual assault, on school premises, which went unreported to the police, and was dealt with internally, with a suspension. I think schools are actually quite limited in what they can do. However they may feel.

I feel quite mixed about that (the sexual assault incident) .... Can see why the parents didn't pursue it, but it meant that the victim and her assaulter continued at the same school ....

So, I can see arguments for pursuing it, really. At the same time, I suppose she's still a child, and didn't really think it through. Still. That sort of thing isn't what you want going on at school.

Much sympathy to you and your ds.

A1980 · 12/01/2011 21:50

YANBU

If nothing else it warrants expulsion.

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