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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Child injured at school

193 replies

lollipop69 · 12/01/2011 21:32

AIBU....my DS aged 12 returned home from school yesterday with one side of the hair on his head, both eyebrows and one set of eyelashes totally singed! This had happened because another student had sprayed a can of deodorant and lit it with a lighter. She did this over her shoulder and unfortunately did not see him behind her. The large flame hit his head and caused the injuries listed above. I was livid. The school phoned me and explained the same story and said the girl had been suspended for four days. AIMBU in my actions which are that I have called the police and reported this as an assault (all be it accidental). This incident has left DS quite traumatised in that last night he woke twice having nightmares surrounding the incident.

OP posts:

tomhardyismydh · 14/01/2011 19:02

doesnt sound too much like they did learn maryz . at least they are all still one piece.

WhyHavePets · 14/01/2011 19:10

They do learn - but only one thing at a time - each individual idiotic thing needs a new lesson

maryz · 14/01/2011 19:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhyHavePets · 14/01/2011 19:21

they are more like toddlers than toddlers are!

fuzzypicklehead · 14/01/2011 20:14

I'm just gobsmacked that the girl's parents haven't been in touch. If I found out that my daughter had done something this stupid, you wouldn't need to be chasing the school or the police. In fact, police would be the least of her worries! Her arse would have been on the doorstep that evening to face up to you and your son and her time off school (and any other spare time she had on her hands) would be spent doing anything I could think of to make it up to him. Compensation would be coming out of her pocket.

Seriously, what would you do if your kid was in the girl's position?

WhyHavePets · 14/01/2011 20:28

That is difficult to be honest fuzzy.

I would not go around to the house of someone I don't know, not everyone is reasonable!

I would use the suspension as a time where my dd could write a letter of appology to the child in question, to the school headmaster/mistress and anyone else that had been effected.

the rest of any suspension would be used for chores, hopefully ones for someone else if I could arrange it (shoveling snow outside elderly neighbours, helping people out somehow)

Of the top of my head that is, I am sure I would dream up more!

Of course, if the police suddenly turned up then it would totally change my perspective. I would be very wary about sending letters of appology as this would admit culpability - if they chose to pursue damages or something equally silly. I would be very upset for my child who had made a silly mistake (assuming it was a silly mistake of course, that is not clear to me yet)

maryz · 14/01/2011 20:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shewhoshallnotbenamed · 14/01/2011 20:37

Ah, no Whyhave I agree - the Police should never have been involved, the school should have taken appropriate measures, which IMO they haven't. I don't think she should have been expelled, but a week of detentions perhaps? Having to attend a fire safety course? Ok, how fesible they are, who knows, but a 1 day suspension? Please!!!

I don't believe she should have been charged but a visit from the Police was a good idea in these circumstances. From what OP says the police were happy to deal with the situation, and hopefully will show her that if you hurt someone they are likely to come back at you and not roll over and let you take the piss. From what the OP has said, the school really couldn't give a flying-one about this and want OP to go away quietly.

Where it my DD, I would have taken the same action under the same circumstances.

VivaLeBeaver · 14/01/2011 20:53

Coming to join Kirst et al. on the minority bench. I am sorry about your DS and its a horrible thing to have happened but not sure it warrents explusion like some on here have suggested. I think you need to trust the school to determine if she is a little shit who is always up to no good in which case they'd probably have leaped at the opportunity of booting her out. Or if she's a generally good kid who has heard about aerosol cans and lighters and was curious enough to have a go.

When I was at school me and my friends did the aerosol and lighter thing - though we were sensible enough to do it forwards and check we had a clear path. We weren't delinquents at all, I never bullied anyone and never had as much as a dentention the whole time I was at school. Other kids did something similar with matches and the gas taps in the chemistry lab and got a major bollocking and detention but not suspended.

Ripeberry · 14/01/2011 21:02

That girl sounds like a nutcase in the making. She has gone into school with the means of harming someone. Hell she was trying to light up someone's hand for goodness sake!
The lighter, well maybe she is a smoker?
In the end, this has to be reported to the police as assault and to hell with the school.

Exclusion is a waste of time. Those kids should go to a special 'boot camp' for the duration of their exclusion.
That will teach them.

Eglu · 14/01/2011 21:04

I've just seen your thread for the first time. I hope you get some decent response from the school. It is so annoying that schools try to sweep these things under the carpet

WhyHavePets · 14/01/2011 21:08

Lmao ripeberry, yes the means to harm someone - or, indeed, the means to make herself less smelly perhaps?

The hand trick, as has always been said, is a silly trick that goes with the stupid can lighting trick. All done many times by many kids for many years. The vast majority of which are normal, ordinary kids who did something a bit stupid once.

WhyHavePets · 14/01/2011 21:10

Oops, missed the boot camp bit... maybe national service as well?

NancyDrewHasaClue · 14/01/2011 21:15

Whyhavepets you talk a lot of sense.

Particularly if you do wonder "why have pets"

WhyHavePets · 14/01/2011 21:27

Thank you Nancy - I do wonder why but sadly I have succumbed and have a houseful of smelly creatures

maryz · 14/01/2011 22:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhyHavePets · 14/01/2011 22:19

Rofl, very good maryz

ragged · 14/01/2011 23:21

Great posts Maryz :).
I don't have teen offspring, but it seems I have a vivid memory of what I was like as a teen. And most my peers were worse, if anything.
The daft things I got up to.
Even though I was considered the sensible child, the star academic pupil, the one who went on to a prestigious career, even (etc.).
Of course it wasn't merely "a bit of fun" -- but on it's own it doesn't merit lousing up the girl's future with a criminal investigation that will stick to her records forever.

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