Child injured at school

[lollipop69]

AIBU....my DS aged 12 returned home from school yesterday with one side of the hair on his head, both eyebrows and one set of eyelashes totally singed! This had happened because another student had sprayed a can of deodorant and lit it with a lighter. She did this over her shoulder and unfortunately did not see him behind her. The large flame hit his head and caused the injuries listed above. I was livid. The school phoned me and explained the same story and said the girl had been suspended for four days. AIMBU in my actions which are that I have called the police and reported this as an assault (all be it accidental). This incident has left DS quite traumatised in that last night he woke twice having nightmares surrounding the incident.

It was also explained to me that prior to the incident with my DS she had been spraying another childs hand and trying to set alight to it.....she knew just what she was doing

Sounds like a chat from the police could well be the kick up the arse that she needs.

child or not it's not the actions of a usual child is it animula? I never saw a child do that even in my rough comp! And we had 15 year old lads driving stolen cars to the gates at home time to pick us up!

3little frogs-I agree

When dd was assaulted at school last year,the assaulter was in town in school time,smoking in the street having a good old laugh.

I wished we'd pushed for assault and she would of got a caution instead we went down the victim/perpetrator conference type affair.

I regretted it as soon as her parents sat across the table from us and smirked the whole way through .Scum.

Go for it OP.Stand up for your ds's safety within school and against this child's dangerour actions

In that case she sounds as if she needs professional help and exclusion from school and possibly transfer to a more appropriate facility.

My DS is the same age as the girl that did this and she would never dream of doing such a thing as she quite clearly knows the difference between right and wrong

Whilst i can understand you contacting the police ,i am a bit suprised at the lynch mob mentality on here about a 12 year old child . There is no doubt that what she did was both dangerous and stupid ,but that is kind of par for the course with that age group . You have told us that the injuries she has inflicted were entirely accidental and she had no intention of causing harm to your son or anyone else ,therefore hardly a case of bullying . School have told you she is 'traumatised' by what happened and she probably is ,given that it was an accident . Hopefully the police will have a good stern chat with her and she can carry on her life ,having learnt a hard lesson . Your son sounds as though he will make a full recovery and be able to continue at school ,go to university where he will inevitably attempt to light his own fart in a !

yanbu

she deserves a talking too by the police, could have been really alot worse

poor bunny , you DS I mean

Bumpsoon I can see where you're coming from on this but I do have to disagree that it is par for the course with this age group. My DS is 12, the youngest of 3 and none of them have ever even attemped anything so dangerous or stupid as they have been brought up to entertain themselves in a safe way without putting themselves or anyone else in danger

'but that is kind of par for the course with that age group'

BOLLOCKS.

You'd be happy with your child to ignite a flammable liquid ? (intent was there,she took in a lighter!)

A lot of you are extrapolating from your own experiences but you really have no idea if this child is the same as the ones you have been involved with.

TBH op I would only have called the police if my child had said that she often does this stuff or if she laughed about it or something. If dc backed up the school that she was upset then I would not. For some children what had happened would have been more then enough of a lesson, children do stupid things but not all children who do stupid things are bullies or trouble.

And if an adult is stupid enough to light his/her own fart,than more fool them.

We aren't talking about adults though are we?

bumpsoon - would you feel the same if lollipop's ds had been blinded?

I have a 12 yr old dd and she would know what a stupid and dangerous thing this is.

If this child doesn't get pulled up on this and a visit from the police she will have learned that she can get away with it.

The fact that she was trying to set fire to another child's hand indicates that this was not an accident.

That is awful!

A similar thing happened when I was at school, only the flame didn't hurt anyone.

The girl still got expelled though!

Schools need to be given back their power to be able to say "No we don't want you here, bugger off". 4 days tsk tsk - that is nothing!

I do find these days there is always an "excuse". "She is still a child" "got messed up family life" that type of thing. I am a bit old fashioned & think if you do the crime you gotta do the time!

It is this sort of "low-key" messing about that (as shown) gets out of hand and needs to be stamped down on!

YANBU to be angry, upset and to want to call the police. I think you should call the police.

However, I do agree with bumpsoon. The girl is obviously an idiot, but it doesn't sound like she had any intention to hurt your DS or anyone else. It doesn't sound like she's a bully or 'little shit'. A suspension and talking to from the police will prob make sure she thinks twice before she acts in the future.

(DISCLAIMER; I may be desensitised as this used to happen regularly at my school!)

I have asked my eldest ds and although the girl is not a known bully she is a known 'little shit'!! I do hope that knowing the police will probably only give her a stern talking to that she sits up and takes notice!

Yes,because only nice girls take in a can of hairspray and a lighter and the intent of using it as a flame thrower.

I stand by my 'little shit' opinion.

She might be nice, but a moron. It's possible.

She should be permanently excluded and I would have written to the school as follows.

"Thank you for telephoning me about the incident involving my child today and explaining that the perpetrator would be suspended for four days. I have thought carefully about this and have also considered my child's reaction in the meantime. Having done so I would like to note that my child was put in considerable danger and is now suffering emotionally. I am not satisfied with a temporary exclusion and before sending my child back to school I require a full explanation in relation to this moderate sanction. I also require assurances in relation to the action that the school will be taking to ensure my child's safety in the future if the perpertrator is allowed back on your premises. In the event that my child suffers any further injury I am seeking a reassurance that the school will take full liability for any damages.

I am notifying you that I have reported the perpetrator's criminal actions to the police and shall be presssing charges if you are unable to provide sufficient comfort to allay my fears.

I would welcome the involvement of the education welfare officer in this matter and have copied this letter to my local councilloar and the director of education.

I look forward to meeting you at a mutually convenient time and hope that this matter will be resolved to our mutual satisfaction.

I shall be grateful to receive an acknowledgemetn of this letter by return and hope the matter is resolved within five working days of this letter.

Yours sincerely.

Well I thank all you for your opinions and I will let you all know what the police say and the whole outcome.

I was by no means trying to excuse the actual actions of the child ,as i said what she did was both stupid and dangerous . I am just suprised that it was turned into a witch hunt where the child was automatically assumed to be a bully and a little shit .I didnt say that i thought the police shouldnt be involved . I am however suprised at anyone who believes that their children of the same age do not partake in risky or stupid behaviours whilst not under a watchful parental eye , i know i did , a particular event involved a black widow catapult and a car windscreen ,luckily the driver didnt crash . My parents were a teacher and policeman ,so hardly a deprived/neglected upbringing. I wasnt aiming for the car

I hope your ds recovers swiftly Lollipop

Do let us know the outcome from your meeting with the police tomorrow.

Excuse me, I said I can see why lollopop69 would want to pursue the matter, and I said that schools are limited in what they can do - often more limited than what they feel they would like to do.

Wrt "she's a child". That's true. But the fact this happened on school premises just isn't on. You have no choice, really (apart from Home Ed/private "choice") about sending your ds there, so they really, really have to keep him safe. You really do have the right to expect better.

Also, I have to say, this happened with my ds. Though not at school, and without serious consequences. Which points are a crucial difference. He arrived back from a playdate (aged 9) where an older brother (12) had demonstrated the flame thrower/aerosol thing. Older brother was a nice enough lad (really), as was younger brother. So, yes, some children aren't necessarily feral when they do this sort of thing.

Though, I did think "wtf", and stopped sending my ds there, pronto.

Thing is, I was able to just stop sending him around. And it wasn't at school. That's a big distinction.

So, lollipop69, I can see arguments for pursuing it. And in your shoes, I probably would.

I would never say my children were perfect angels whilst I am not around, however due to delightful sibling rivalry, each of my DCs would take great pleasure in telling me if one of them had done wrong when not at home and although I have had little tittle tattle from them....not once have any of them reported anything of concern to me about the others!