Child injured at school

[lollipop69]

AIBU....my DS aged 12 returned home from school yesterday with one side of the hair on his head, both eyebrows and one set of eyelashes totally singed! This had happened because another student had sprayed a can of deodorant and lit it with a lighter. She did this over her shoulder and unfortunately did not see him behind her. The large flame hit his head and caused the injuries listed above. I was livid. The school phoned me and explained the same story and said the girl had been suspended for four days. AIMBU in my actions which are that I have called the police and reported this as an assault (all be it accidental). This incident has left DS quite traumatised in that last night he woke twice having nightmares surrounding the incident.

I just think that the OP's son would have known if she'd done it on purpose and he doesn't seem to have said that.

I wouldn't either if this idiot thinks she is the cock of the school! Keeping his mouth shut via being scared of the consequences. Easily led idiot at that. I remember what it was like at school even though i am 36. Not a lot changes.

Just my gut instinct, i was noit there i didn't even design the school building. But hey kids eh?

at our school the deodorant/ lighter thing was fairly common. as was anything else involving fire. by the 6th form the deodorant/ lighter combo wasn't really exciting enough, so kids brought in gunpowder and primed those old wooden desks, laying a fuse for a couple of feet to allow them to run then hell, and then lighting them. exploding desks during the lunch hour was reasonably common. i'll never know how they didn't wonder where the desks were going... the bits used to get put up into those false ceilings - the tile ones. i often wonder if one day the whole lot didn't come crashing down.

the best bit, of course, was the tutors coming back after lunch and asking who had been smoking in the common room, because of the faintly singed air-smell.

it was an accident - yes, let the police talk to her and give her a good dressing down. it was a dumb thing to do. i don't imagine for a minute either of my girls would do something like this, but ds i suspect he's dumb enough if i'm honest. it would all be in the interests of science - to see what would happen, and then to show off a bit. until he got caught, and then i'd probably march him off down the police station too. sometimes kids aren't experienced enough to know where to draw the line - but i suspect this girl knows now...

hope ds manages to relax a bit. the accident must have been scary for him.

I wonder how much compensation you would get for singed hair and eyebrow? Considering how little one would get for a broken leg in school I am guessing not a lot.

Just out if interest, who has advised you to go for compensation? I am guessing not a proper Sol?

whyhavepets yes it was a sol and it has nothing to do with physical injury purely emotional. And i am shattered again having been woken up by the nightmares had by ds.

I would be very upset but can an accident like in OP be classed as assault or can assault ever be unintentional?

I understand the bit about maybe pursuing damages but less the bit about involving the police , unless it was intentional, which from OP does not seem to be the case.

I am really surprised that any solicitor would advise you that you had any prospect of winning compensation for this incident. It's so unlikely that I would be inclined to say impossible.

Obviously if you are planning on paying privately, a solicitor will accept your fees whether or not you win, but you wouldn't get any no win no fee arrangement.

I think people think compensation claims are a lot simplerr than they actually are. If your son had been physically injured then that would be an entirely different scenario but emotional harm is very difficult and I genuinely don't see you getting anywhere.

Again, I would think the best approach would be to tackle the school in a very focussed, persistent way about what they intend to do to prevent this recurring.

At the end of the day she knew exactly what she was doing by combining the aerosal and lighter so whether it can be viewed as an accident or not is debatable! Maybe I will not go ahead with claiming, I am yet to decide. I am going to see what the police say they are going to do when they come round tonight

I've just outlined the basics to my 13 yo to gauge how a similar aged child would view it.

His opinion was that 4 days exclusion was nowhere near enough, and that of course the police should be involved.

The other point he made was 'of course she knew the consequences, it says highly flammable on the tin and she can read'.

I agree with him entirely.

Having talk of compensation claims at the forefront of this does not sit well with me though. I'd be more inclined to be wondering if your DS needed counselling and to be researching options for that.

I hope he recovers soon.

Lollipop I would not send your son to school until you have met with the Head and the EWO and have been assured that appropriate measures, such as permanent exclusion have been put in place to protect him. I was not suggesting you claim for damages in relation to this incident but to make it crystal clear that if the school does not fulfil its health and safety responsibilities and something similar happens again, you will have no hesitation in taking this further.

I cannot believe how accepting other posters are. My twelve year old daughter knows that this sort of behaviour is totally unacceptable. What on earth is a child doing taking an aerosol and a lighter to school if they don't intend to cause mischief. I doubt my 16 and 12 year old even know that is possible. Such things are not normal every day occurrences; they do not happen at my children's schools and they should not happen or be accepted at any other school in this country. They certainly did not happen when I was at school or at DH's (and he went to a comp) but we are old.

Good luck Lollipop. If you feel you can't do this on your own then contact the LEA or your local councillor. The girl's behaviour is unacceptable and I don't see how it was an accident. She took the aerosol and lighter to school so must have been intending to use them - how "accidental" is that?

Actually, come to think of it, aerosols are not allowed at DD's school - only roll-ons. I had thought it was a green initiative perhaps I understand why better now. So at the very least the school needs to ban aerosols. If they take in aerosols, suspended, if they use them in combination with a lighter expelled. The lack of sanctino is turning society into an anything goes playground. End of Rant.

Lollipop - final point. You should not be worried about putting up backs at the school. They have allowed your son to be put in a dangerous situation and have now taken insufficient steps to prevent it happening again. IMO they should be crawling all over you with apologies and solutions.

This sort of thing is only going on because schools allow it to go on.

I agree with marriednotdead about the discomfort regarding compensation.

I feel very strongly that, in the UK, we are surprisingly quick to begin considering the issue of suing when things go wrong. We have become a compensation culture. People/organisations are very aware of this and when the issue of a claim is raised, particularly at the very beginning of discussions about an accident/failure of some sort, I think it tends to force the discussions down a particular road by making the culpable organisation act in a defensive manner, constantly trying to work out whether anything they say may lay them open to legal action.

I do not believe it is helpful, or conducive to the kind of open, robust discussion that is needed in situations like this, with the priorities being to help the injured party get over what happened and move on, and to ensure that the risk of future problems is minimised.

OP, I know you say you haven't mentioned legal action to the school - can I strongly advise that you do not mention it during any coming discussions. I am as sure as I can be that you will find that you cannot get anywhere with a claim and if the issue is aired openly you will almost certainly be labelled by the school as "the one who threatened to sue" and have nothing to show for it.

If it is something you do want to investigate I would suggest that you do the following. Find a PI firm and ask them for a no-win, no-fee arrangement and explain the circumstances. Their response to your request will give you a good idea of the merits of your case. They will not offer you such a funding arrangement and will almost certainly tell you that it is not a case that has realistic prospects of success, as it is not in their interests to mislead you. If you approach a solicitor with a view to paying privately then you could easily get someone who is willing to take your money anyway.

If I was this girl's mother, I would be sitting her down and making her look at some pictures of facial burns, and scarring following burns - to bring home to her once and for all the possible consequences of playing with fire. I'd also be making her come and apologise in person to the OP's son.

Ds3 has a bit of a habit of playing with fire - he hasn't tried the aerosol/lighter combo, but has played with matches a few times, and once (aged about 8) scrunched up a sheet of paper and put it down the side of the bulb in his (lit) bedside lamp - to see what happened. It started to smoulder, and he panicked as he heard dh coming upstairs, so threw the smouldering paper behind his pc tower, where his curtain hung to the floor - then denied altogether the presence of smoke in his room when dh asked. Luckily dh was not taken in by this and investigated, otherwise the curtain could have caught fire.

I have read ds3 some pretty graphic lectures, and he has been told that if he ever plays with fire again, I shall be contacting the local fire station and taking him for a visit, so that they can put the fear of god into him.

And for those who have said 'it was an accident' - I have to disagree. It was an accident that the OP's ds got hurt, but it wasn't an accident that the flame got sprayed, and it was entirely foreseeable that there could have been someone behind her, so more of an 'on purpose' than an accident in my book.

I'd have called the police in the OP's position - 4 days suspension is entirely inadequate punishment. FGS, the bully who pulled down ds2's PE shorts during a lesson got suspended for 3 days! I felt that was a proportionate punishment - it was a horrible incident, but ds2 felt happy at the way it was dealt with (it gave him confidence in the system at his school, which is why I believe it to be a proportionate punishment) - but to say that something this reckless and dangerous, that caused physical damage and psychological harm to a child deserves only 1 more day's suspension than what happened to ds?? Ridiculous!

kungfupannda - I have no idea whether the OP could successfully sue the school or not but to suggest she'd be the one known as a trouble maker when her child is the victim is poor form IMO, I used to think it was wrong to sue the NHS but having a friend who is the solicitor who defends the NHS tell me it's the only action they understand or take notice of changed my view completely.
That may be true of schools too now.

OP I think you have every right to be mightily pissed off about this. Having the police talk to this kid is a good idea I think. Hopefully will scare the hell out of her and her cronies and they'll not be so daft again. It was a serious incident and someone could have been very badly hurt and should be dealt with as such. I don't think a suspension cuts it tbh.

However please don't demean yourself by going for compo. Really.

How is compensation going to help your DS? And who would pay it, anyway?
by all means badger the school to sharpen up their behaviour/health & safety policy, but don't see how money will help.

So sorry to hear what happened to your son and hope he recovers quickly.

What this girl did was stupid but people do make stupid mistakes / do daft things. I think it is right she is punished and that the whole school / year group get a proper talking to about the dangers of such pranks. I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss the school saying she is traumatised by the incident though - when I was about 20 (well old enough to know better) I was messing about with a lighter and set fire to the rather fluffy dressing gown my boyfriend (now husband) was wearing. It went up in a big flash of blue flame and he lept up and managed to pat out the flames. No injuries thankfully but it was just such a stupid and pointless thing to happen because I was being a daft arsehole silly. I was much more upset about it than him. That's not taking away from what a stupid thing this girl did or how it has obviously affected your son. But hopefully she, and others who were around at the time, has learned her lesson.

It sounds like the sort of dumb thing I might have done at 13, too.
I am also appalled by the lynch mob mentality. :(

The girl knew the deodorant was flammable (she'd already been seen testing it on another child, if I read the OP correctly). So, essentially, this girl decided she would set fire to the OP's son.

So, it wasn't an accident at all. It might be that the girl didn't foresee the consequences, which is a different matter. Or perhaps she didn't care. What's the betting she's been watching similar stunts on YouTube.

I really don't think suing the school is the right way to go at all. I do think she should be expelled however.

OMG how awful for your poor DS. Hope he's ok.

I agree with getting the police involved - perhaps that will shock her into not doing it again and hurting someone else!

ime schools tend to try to brush this kind of stuff under the carpet, especially if there are a lot of incidents. They will avoid involving the police as much as possible and instead deal with behind closed doors. This kind of incident is nowhere near as rare as many people would like to think it is. The leafy Surrey town I used to teach in had a couple of notorious news-worthy events (one when a 12 yo girl was slashed across the face by another). My only wonder was that people were in any way surprised or shocked by it. Many of our schools are like pressure cookers most of the time, with few realistic sanctions available, and no desire by senior management to court bad publicity.

You and your DS have my sympathies, OP. I hope you do call the police. I can guarantee that the school will attempt to dissuade you.

I have just discovered today that this girl was only actually suspended from school for one day. She breezed straight back into school today with no meetings/any other ounishment etc. I am totally seething now. I have had two sleepless nights dealing with my DS nightmares. The police will be here at 8pm tonight to take a statement from my son. I will be e mailing the head yet again in the morning as apparently not even the staff have had a meeting about it.