Women who smoke when pregnant are selfish, irresponsible fuckwits

[MsKLo]

...and so are parents who smoke around their babies/children. I see soooooo many parents pushing prams and smoking or driving and smoking with babies in their car seats etc.

And the number of times I have seen pregnant women having a fag...

Selfish, irresponsible fuckwits

And for the record, I am an ex smoker. I LOVED smoking but stopped before I starte trying for a baby as it was, and is not, fair to inflict my selfish habit on my babies.

I was a full time smoker until I found out I was pregnant with DS who is now 11 months.

I've since started again, and (although it's fuck all to do with you!) I go into the garden for a fag. (but I suppose I should be ashamed for doing that too, eh?)

You sound like the mother I dread bumping into OP. The 'I'm better than you, I wouldn't do it like that, it should be this way' type of mother. Well done you for being so very perfect.

You must be proud.

Now do run along now.

Izzy - Not sure where you're getting from this thread that people on MN think it's OK to smoke while pg? Apart from one poster who admitted she was playing devil's advocate, everyone has agreed it's not.

And just because smoking was a habit rather than an addiction for you doesn't mean it's the same for everyone.

YANBU OP, but could have been a little less forceful in your approach.

When we were going through IVF to conceive DS1, we often had to walk past pregnant mums smoking outside in their dressing gowns (the way the hospital is designed, it has the maternity and assisted conception departments next to each other). It was heartbreaking having to walk past them and did make me feel bitter and resentful, especially given our circumstances.

However, you never know what's going on in someone else's life, or their particular history. Yes, smoking during pregnancy and around children is definitely wrong, but judging people doesn't help.

Well I did smoke saffy and it is tough so I know what I am on about

If it is f all to do with me queenie why bother telling me
If you smoke in the garden and away from your dc's it shows yo are being responsible anyhow

Coffebeans good luck x

I agree that yanbu to some extent.

I smoked when i was pg with DD1 and i was a selfish fuckwit. I was young, my mum had smoked through ALL her 6 pg and had 6 healthy babies thats how i deluded myself that it was ok. DD1 is fine nothing wrong with her other then she was 6lb when born and has always been small for her age but that could just be because her nan is small. However it then took me 5 yrs and 5 mc to concieve DD2 i gave up smoking when pg with her she was 8lb born and a chunk so DD1 being small could infact be my fault and i hate myself for that but unfortuantly i cannot change it, if i could go back i would beleive me.

I started smoking again when i gave up BF with DD2 and i DO NOT smoke around her, i go into the garden for one, DO NOT smoke in the car and i DO NOT smoke whilst pushing the buggy, as much as you think you are outside when i see women smoking whilst pushing the buggy you can see the smoke going over the children depending which way it is blowing.

My FIL smokes and he does it in his house and i dont like DDs being in the house because i know they are breathing it in. However on the other hand my mum smoked int he house whe all of us were growing up and there is nothing wrong with any of us.

I do know that some MW do tell people that if it will be too stressful to give up then they should just cut down as high blood pressure is infact worse for the baby then them smoking. They are the health professionals so women listen to them.

well thats me then! I am afraid I had 1 a day in both pregnancies

I know its bad, I dont need to be dissed by you on a talk board thanks!

so come on, here I am, tell me what a piece of shit I am!!!

I read your OP believe it not which is why I don't understand why you make it sound like a piece of piss to give up. Both my pregnancies have been stressful in the first trimester what with hormones flying around and lack of sleep, so I can actually see that giving up something that relieves stress is hard work for many, and when you first get a positive result would be a good time to abstain from smoking.

Having said that, it makes me a little bit sick to see a heavily pregnant woman cradling her bump with one hand and a malboro light with the other...

OP - YADNBU.

YABU to judge others, op. I personally have never smoked (not boasting, just a fact) but have been around smokers all my life. I will admit to feeling sorry for babies or children that I see in a car with the parents smoking, but that comes from the fact that my parents, particularly my dad would smoke in the car with us and I hated it, so it is a sympathy thing. I do not like seeing pregnant women smoke but would not judge them as I am sure it must be hard to quit an addiction just like that.

It is not actually that big a deal, in a lot of cases. If it were (as with drinking alcohol) there would be far, far fewer people on the planet.
There are many, many different causes of foetal problems/stillbirth, both enviromental and genetic - oh and underfunded, understaffed maternity units are a big risk, particularly to poor women who can't sort out better care for themselves by paying for it - and the main reason why silly twats like the OP need vigorous rebuffing is because it's not a good think to encourage people to pick holes in the behaviour of PG women. There are enough nutters out there already who would like to restrict women's rights on the grounds that they are incubators not people.

I agree with your sentiment op but you haven't expressed yourself in the best way!

I've never smoked so obviously I don't know how hard it is to give up but I have read about 3rd hand smoke (let alone 2nd hand) and it does bother me.. ie when my bil goes out in the garden for a fag and then comes in and touches baby.. even after washing hands he's still covered in chemicals, but that's another debate I suppose!

You'd have got a better debate without the attitude I think!

Ooooh, I love a good judge me. Go on, judge on.

Look how many people are confronted with the fact that their smoking habit is killing them, who have respiratory diseases and heart disease and sometimes even amputations, but who still can't stop smoking and sit outside the hospital in their hospital gowns and slippers having a cigarette.

It's wonderful that you are such a shining example to us all, but do try to keep in mind that other people's circumstances are not always exactly identical to yours.

Well completely astounded at the supporters of pregnant smokers! It has been medically proven that smoking is bad for babies while in the womb, thankfully the majority of babies are born and are perfect (untill they develop asthma later in life!) I absolutely cannot stand all those prats that quote the " it's more harmful for the baby for the mother to get stressed than to give up" what utter crap... This ridiculous statement was once said years ago by Kerry Katona in a magazine, If you all want to quote her then go ahead!

I was a smoker and gave up the second I found out I was preganant.. why? because I'm a mother and that's a small sacrifice to make... I've seen women avoid mayonaise and prawns while pregnant but not fags (hmm)

My 1st child was very small and scbu when he was born, I didn't smoke but can you imagine what could've happened to him if I had.

Right logging off now because I can't be bother to read the stupid posts defending ignorant people!

Well I'm recently pg and haven't smoked since I saw the blue line AND AM FIT TO KILL EVERY LAST MOTHERFCKING ONE OF YOU.

Not easy at all to give up and I don't even have any sources of stress at the mo. So YABU MsKlo, most people do their best for their kids but they don't get everything right.
And if anybody disagrees with me Come On I'll 'Ave Yer

Off you trot so Lurkermalurker. There must be another site somewhere where people of iron will who've never struggled or made mistakes can sit around competing over their shiny Best Mother medals.

Mrsklo.

Yes you are a twat, a rather huge one at that. (Thats why people are always telling you - Mrsklo you are a twat) And darling fwiw i'm not getting worked up...

Now do fuck off darling

I gave up when I was pregnant - I had a miniscule baby - the lady in the bed opposite me was a smoker (used to squat outside the hospital smoking away) and her baby was huge.

I thought it was illegal to smoke with children in the car or did I imagine that?

Are you bored or something, KLo? Or have you just never posted anything on here ever?

Go over to 'Feeding' and write a thread about how twattish formula feeding is, then whizz over to 'Weaning' and start villifying the use of baby jars and sausage rolls. For a quick hatrick, shout from the rooftops about how hideous disposable nappies are.

Alternatively, chill the fuck out and have a fag or some thing. We all know smoking harms your baby. But a persons decision is theirs to make. All you are doing is sounding up yourself and judgey.

Well done Wukter, it does get easier I promise. I've now got to the point where I miss the feeling it gave me but don't get that feeling if I try which I am thankful of because it means this time I have stayed quit.

It's interesting how people are willing to say you don't know their circumstances about pregnant smokers but noone really knows anyones situation. A couple of years back I really wanted to come on here and rant about pregnant smokers (glad I didn't) dd was in NICU and every time I went in or out of the hospital for visits there were at least 5 pregnant smokers clustered round the door. How about my need to rant and scream that people were selfish.

Thanks bronze.

Now off to snap at DH over something trivial.
Or maybe I should take a leaf from OPs book and cause a ruck here instead...might save my marriage.

Benefits eh? Who'd have 'em?

ilithya

I am the twat for not smoking when preg and for giving my child the goodness of bf?!

Lmao nOw I have heard it all! What a great mother you must be if you think these two things qualify for twat status!

Lol

Go for the ruck on here. DH gave up a week ago and its hell being me at the moment. Maybe your DH and I should start a thread for those suffering for the greater cause