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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Women who smoke when pregnant are selfish, irresponsible fuckwits

455 replies

MsKLo · 08/01/2011 00:13

...and so are parents who smoke around their babies/children. I see soooooo many parents pushing prams and smoking or driving and smoking with babies in their car seats etc.

And the number of times I have seen pregnant women having a fag...

Selfish, irresponsible fuckwits

And for the record, I am an ex smoker. I LOVED smoking but stopped before I starte trying for a baby as it was, and is not, fair to inflict my selfish habit on my babies.

OP posts:
wukter · 09/01/2011 17:55

Better never to be born than have a mother who smoked

Animation · 09/01/2011 18:18

Not really convinced about this "addictive"
argument really.

I had a baby growing in my body. That was the deterent - so I stopped.

We can always find an addiction to something else - somethging less harmful to kids. Mumsnet's a bit addictive, I think,but probably less harmful to babies than smoke.

wukter · 09/01/2011 18:33

No Animation.
Addiction is real, whether you are convinced or not.

arbee123 · 09/01/2011 18:34

People should give up smoking and other bad habits before trying to conceive.
But! Life if we don't know life is not as it should be we go around with our eyes closed.

Animation · 09/01/2011 18:43

Wukter.

Load of rubbish - chose another addiction then to get your highs.

wukter · 09/01/2011 18:43

Animation.

You don't know much about addiction.

Animation · 09/01/2011 18:46

Wukner.

Tell me what you know about smoking addiction, and why you can't stop when you're carrying a baby.

StuckinTheMiddlewithYou · 09/01/2011 18:46

oh come on.

Smoking is bad, we all know this.

But the way it's going, any woman who isn't immediately main-lining spinach and piping live Mozart up her fanny from the moment of conception, is a bad mother.

Ideally, nobody would smoke or drink and all babies would be planned and grow up in nice in perfect homes in Hampshire. Life isn't like that so get off your high horse before you fall.

Original poster
MsKLo · 09/01/2011 18:55

Wukter

I don't think you can say to animatiOn that she doesn't know about addiction - she does but she stopped for the sake of her baby. That is commendable - carrying on smoking is not. Can you honestly say you ate happy to smoke when preg? If it is such an addiction, get help and don't inflict smoke on unborn babies!

OP posts:
wukter · 09/01/2011 18:58

Grin at piping Mozart up fanny! I agree with your general point too StuckInTheMiddle.

Animation. Personally I can give up smoking when I'm pregnant or bfing. It doesn't mean I'm fabulous and love my children more. It means I was lucky enough to beat my addiction when it really mattered to me to do so.

Addiction is so so so complex and nuanced, and manifests differently in everyone as we are all different.

And no MN isn't an addiction. How silly. Goes to show how much the word has been misused and devalued lately.

wukter · 09/01/2011 18:59

Xposts MsKlo I think I can say to Animation that she doesn't know much about addiction., actually. I'm going by the amount of knowledge she displays in her posts.

Original poster
MsKLo · 09/01/2011 19:02

I can't remember anyone stating they are fabulous for doing so?! It is the right thing to do for your baby though

For those who say things like do you want a medal it says more about their insecurities than anything else

Do you smoke now wutker?

OP posts:
wukter · 09/01/2011 19:04

Well they are saying they are the opposite of 'selfish irresponsible fuckwits' That's pretty fab in my book.

Nope don't smoke anymore. Am pregnant.

Animation · 09/01/2011 19:11

No, addiction is'nt complex at all - it's just a dependency.

But when you're pregnant your first instinct is to protect your baby. You just decide to stop.

You can feed an 'addictive personality' with other things;

food
sex/porn
internet
people pleasing
gambling
more food
men
excercise
shopping
spending
dancing
living in your head.....

All of which are not harmful to the growing baby.

wukter · 09/01/2011 19:16

If addiction is that simple Animation what are you doing wasting your knowledge on a chat forum?
You could be doing so much good in the world! You could walk into your local addiction centre in the morning and tell them all they have to do is buck up and decide to stop! Massive societal problem and so much human tragedy - solved.

Animation · 09/01/2011 19:19

Because I'm addicted Wukter - to Mumsnet

I've stopped smoking though.

wukter · 09/01/2011 19:30

Just give it up Animation.

Can't be good for the DC if their mum is on the PC all the time.

Animation · 09/01/2011 19:33

OK - I will.

Animation · 09/01/2011 19:34

I'll have 2 Mars Bars instead.

wukter · 09/01/2011 19:38

Good idea. I'm off down the methadone clinic with a bag of chocolates. They'll be so grateful to have their lives back.

Animation · 09/01/2011 19:44

Good luck - we're all counting on you.

Animation · 09/01/2011 19:44

Right - I'm off the board - bye.

Original poster
MsKLo · 09/01/2011 22:44

I stand by my statements!

Wishing you a great pregnancy wutker and good luck when little one arrives!

OP posts:
StuffingGoldBrass · 09/01/2011 23:59

Wandered back into this thread to see it's tinfoil hats on one side and sticks up the arse on the other.
Go ahead and enjoy...

olderyetwider · 10/01/2011 00:43

Thing is, we're all human, and so a bit crap, but all in our own special ways. Some smoke, some are fat, some read the Daily Mail, some are on benefits, some don't breastfeed (insert own prejudice).

Despite our frailties, most of us love our children, and do the best we can. And most of our children grow up fine, despite us.