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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Women who smoke when pregnant are selfish, irresponsible fuckwits

455 replies

MsKLo · 08/01/2011 00:13

...and so are parents who smoke around their babies/children. I see soooooo many parents pushing prams and smoking or driving and smoking with babies in their car seats etc.

And the number of times I have seen pregnant women having a fag...

Selfish, irresponsible fuckwits

And for the record, I am an ex smoker. I LOVED smoking but stopped before I starte trying for a baby as it was, and is not, fair to inflict my selfish habit on my babies.

OP posts:
Coffeebeans · 08/01/2011 07:45

I totally agree that smoking indoors is selfish. My mother did it when i was little & I regularly had a dry itchy throat at night.
But when i'm outside my smoke goes nowhere near ds, its quite simple to keep it away from him then.

Coffeebeans · 08/01/2011 07:45

I totally agree that smoking indoors is selfish. My mother did it when i was little & I regularly had a dry itchy throat at night.
But when i'm outside my smoke goes nowhere near ds, its quite simple to keep it away from him then.

Coffeebeans · 08/01/2011 07:47

sorry my mobile keeps posting things twice

Alouiseg · 08/01/2011 07:52

I wonder how many smokers had parents who smoked?

My Mother still has "2 or 3" a day. My brothers and I all smoked, I'm the only one who had the moral fibre to quit.

I won't let my children travel in my Mothers car as the nicotine stench is overwhelming, yet she can't smell it!!!!

Original poster
MsKLo · 08/01/2011 07:54

Ok coffebeans

If you make sure it is away from dc that is good but I do think better not to smoke when with dc... But that is just personal opinion and the fact that you make sure it is not your child is great

But if away from dc then that is good - it is more about people who smoke in the car, in enclosed spaces and when preg though isn't it?

Do you think the fact your mum smoked contributed to you smoking yourself?

OP posts:
RustyBear · 08/01/2011 07:56

MsKLo - what exactly were you expecting the responses to be when you started this thread?

Poster 1: YANBU

Poster 2: YANBU

Poster 3: YANBU

Poster 4: YANBU

Poster 5: OMG, I never realised what a fuck wit I was being, I will give up smoking immediately, thank you so much for saving me from myself!

What you are missing is that the posters on here are not "more bothered by your opinion than by the real problem", but as it is a given that smoking while pregnant is very likely to harm your baby and that every pregnant mother should try to give up, the only area for discussion raised by this thread is whether or not it is actually possible for every smoker to give up, and therefore whether you are being fair in describing them as fuck wits if they don't.

Original poster
MsKLo · 08/01/2011 07:57

Good for you Alouiseg!

I know what you mean about smelling smoke more now I don't smoke. I miss it - a lot - but feel tons better now I don't but I don't think the urge will ever leave me

Shame I can't give up cake too, I'd be sorted then!

OP posts:
Original poster
MsKLo · 08/01/2011 08:00

Yep rusty

I am being fair in thinking that people who keep smoking when preg are fuckwits

Very fair!

That is how I think and glad I do!

OP posts:
RustyBear · 08/01/2011 08:04

So what were you expecting people to post?

queenofboak · 08/01/2011 08:08

This thread has made me want a fag. OP do you want to join me? You seem stressed.

Or have one of these Biscuit for those nasty cravings.

Original poster
MsKLo · 08/01/2011 08:11

Wanted to see what people thought and if there were people who actually justified this, this is not like some things where it is down to just personal opinion - this is bad for babies that is a fact and I despair when I see pregnant women smoking - they should be ashamed and shamed - maybe if more people voiced their dissaproval thing would change

It is amazing to me that you can't smoke in a restaurant but people can get into their car with babies/kids and smoke. I hope that changes soon.

OP posts:
lal123 · 08/01/2011 08:12

Whilst I agree that smoking in pregnancy is not good there are far worse things that a mother can inflict on her child. Taking your arguement a step further are you saying that women who are poor shouldn't have babies (the life expectancy for children born in deprived areas locally is 14 years less than those born in less deprived areas)? Should mothers be inflicting this on their children?

Also playing devil's advocate - there is actually very very little evidence that smoking only a few cigs a day does any harm to baby.

AlpinePony · 08/01/2011 08:13

Tbh - it's all well and good getting up on your high horse about an issue, but I'm distinctly Hmm about the fact you've spent the last 8 hours glued to your PC rather than caring for your children...

AIBU in thinking that blah blah blah. Wink

AIBU in thinking that people should just not eat cake if it makes them an angry biffer?

Original poster
MsKLo · 08/01/2011 08:14

Queen

Go on have a fag - just not near the kiddies ok?!

I'll take your biscuit though...

Ta!

OP posts:
Original poster
MsKLo · 08/01/2011 08:17

Where did you get eight hours from? Started the thread last night when my kids asleep an then looked at it this morning whilst kids asleep! An from my iPhone not the PC...

OP posts:
izzybiz · 08/01/2011 08:22

I agree with the Op, you read threads on here all the time about the risks of FF your baby, but it seems its ok to smoke? Confused

I don't even hold with the addiction thing, I think smoking is a habit, I smoke when I go out to the pub, could smoke 10 or more in an evening, but for the rest of the week feel no need at all.

I didn't smoke in any of my pregnancies, and the only time I ever felt the urge was if I went to a pub!

Someone will come on and shout me down about addictions now I'm sure, but hey ho!

Original poster
MsKLo · 08/01/2011 08:22

No lal

I am not saying that at all - just because I think smoking when preg etc is wrong doesn't mean I think that! I am not exactly rich at all anyhow

And completely disagree that a 'few' cogs is not harmful

It is and it is wrong!

OP posts:
izzybiz · 08/01/2011 08:23

Oh, and I used to be a 'full time' smoker...untill I got pregnant with Dc1...

Original poster
MsKLo · 08/01/2011 08:24

Cigs not cogs!

Anyhooooo

I'm off for a cup of tea...

OP posts:
Choufleur · 08/01/2011 08:25

This is very boring you know. Maybe you could start a thread about P&C parking spaces as well.

Original poster
MsKLo · 08/01/2011 08:26

It is great you gave up, it's hard but worth it eh! :)

OP posts:
Original poster
MsKLo · 08/01/2011 08:27

Ah yes Chou!

That is another bugbear of mine ;)

OP posts:
Coffeebeans · 08/01/2011 08:29

Smoking when pg is horrible, i'm glad i've never seen anybody doing it!
Obviously my mother made smoking look 'normal'.
Good news is i'm going to the smoking cessation clinic tomorrow afternoon. I want to give up for my ds. It would be terrible for him if i got ill for something I can actually do without..

saffy85 · 08/01/2011 08:29

Ofcourse mothers shouldn't smoke while pregnant but OP you're making it sound like it's easy to give up. I've never smoked but can understand it's a tough habit to break.

I deo agree parents and other people in general shouldn't smoke in front of children.

Animation · 08/01/2011 08:35

MsKLow

Tbh you have a point - but TOOOO INTENSE.