young, close relative has become an "escort" WWYD?

[notreallymehere]

20 something low closeish relative has become an escort. She has been thinking about it for a while, tried it in London, stopped but now has gone back to it in her home town. She is with what appears to be reputable agency and seems to be making quite a lot of money. Lots of reviews now appearing on her webpage etc. She appears fully happy with her choice - she had a job before (working in a coffee bar) but says that the money is better with this (she has previously worked as a lap dancer). My question is what do I tell my friends/acquaintances if they ask about her. I've discussed this with some people when she first started in London and the reaction was very aggressive "well you should have stopped her" etc etc. (hence name change) Fact is that she is an adult and this is her choice and I cannot see how I can stop her - she is making a far bit of money at this and is very financially motivated. However she is part of the family and it is difficult to avoid the questions but many people are very judgemental (of me for somehow "allowing" this to happen).

Prostitution is not illegal! Soliciting - hanging round street corners - is illegal, but working as a prostitute/escort/callgirl is perfectly legal as long as you're over 18.

Every woman has a choice, and as long as she isn't being forced into it, then it is her choice.
With nosey friends I would simply say 'yes she is doing well, isn't she' and if they are trying to find out what she does, I would deflect it with a 'well, she's obviously the sort of person who does well at whatever she does.'
In the meantime I would be chatting with her to make sure she is staying clean, safe and has an 'exit' strategy, as clearly this isn't a long term option.
We all made bad choices when we were young, and weren't always able to think through with the clarity and hindsight we have now. She is living in the moment.

I think that there are several aspects to a job - do you like doing it, is it "worth while" and what you get paid. Typically this is reflected in the salary - ie charities paid their paid staff less, the caring professions are notoriously lower paid etc. I think that it is a personal thing though. If any individual is working purely for the money and feels that what they are actually doing is not worthwhile then I think that they are at risk of damaging their self esteme/becoming miserable if they do it for too long and so could be described as prostituting themselves. So I'd say that a prostitute who enjoys her work adn feels that she makes life in some way better fo rher clients is at lower risk of the self-worth-type-damage discussed earlier than soneone who hates their job and feels that their job is pointless and helps no one.

What would I do? Nothing. Her life, her fuckups choices to make, not yours.

Sorry! didn't mean to get it wrong.

But escorts are living off of immoral earnings, the cash they get for extras, which is always paid up front is not declared, but hoarded as they cannot bank it.

hey SGB am I a usual whiner?

I don't really see you problem OP. Just ask her what she tells people she does for a living and go with that...if you're too ashamed, then tell them to ask her themselves

"Living off immoral earnings" used to mean pimping a woman. The relevant legislation is now "controlling and profiting from" the activities of prostitutes, so that doesn't apply either.

Of course the cash can be banked; escorts usually pay tax as self-employed, because living the high life gets people (eg, HMRC) interested.

Many of the girls I knew, both dancers and prositutes paid tax as self employed for credit reasons (morgate applications, contract phones etc) and also so they could claim SMP if they needed to.

And no, it's not illegal.

But who says sex has to "mean anything", particularly when you're young and single?

My friend worked as a criminal barrister and acted for quite a few prostitutes. She was unjudgemental and thoughful though I do remember her saying she could now spot a woman who prostituted herself because she had dead eyes. Really stayed with me. Agree with Dittany every word. How bloody depressing for the OP.

I don't get the "selling your body" thing.

A prostitute is not selling her body. She is renting it out for an agreed amount of time, just like a factory worker or a shop assitant or whatever.

She's an ex lapdancer, she's been a prostitute in London and is now a prostitute in her home town. It sounds to me that she's well aware of what the business entails and has made an informed decision that that's what she wants to do.

I'm not sure she'll appreciate the OP lecturing her on morality Lol.

dittany why does this mean that women don't enjoy sex? Are you saying that because a professional pianist sells their hands for money and plays fo rpeopel that they would not look twice at ususally then (a) this is yucky and (b) this somehow proves that playing the piano isn't enjoyable?

I know that someone will now reply saying "if you can't tell the difference between sex and playing the piaon..." but just what is the difference (asuming that it is safe sex) if the person concerend is consenting adn enjoys it?

You don't actually need to be sexually attracted to your sexual partner either; haven't you heard of lube? Faking the rest is what an escort is paid for.

That's your opinion largely based on how you would feel though ditany and I for one don't feel the same, the most treasured part of me is my mind, my memeroies. My vagina is no more special to me than my arm or lungs, it's just part of me. A very useful part that has bought an awful lot of pleasure through meaningless sex! I haven't even tacked some of my best shags in particular, didn't take any of the fun away. And yes I am capeable of emotionallly tied sex, that's what I have with my dh, but who are you to say that fun sex is wrong. If all members are consenting and legal and happy with what they take from it then who is anyone to judge that wrong?

Are you sure that enjoying or at least not minding sex for all women involves the kind of desire that can only be felt for specific people? I put "not minding" because not all jobs are enjoyable - what about care workers who have to wipe peoples bottoms? Is that an enjoyable part of their job?

Tacked should be fancies, bloody iPhone

It's nobodies business but hers. Hopefully she is saving most of the money she makes because once her looks start to go, it will be a hard adjustment if she is living a flash lifestyle now.

I know someone who ran an escort business, and she certainly did not bank the majority of her earnings but had a safe where she often had upwards of 50k in it.

She banked what she wanted to pay tax on.

Leading on from Escorting comes pornographic movies.

"DooinMeCleanin Thu 06-Jan-11 17:35:56
Have any of you worked as an escort or have a close friend who has? No?"

Yes actually.. one of my close mates is a porn actress. Wouldnt be my personal choice of career, but she is very happy doing it. She made the choice, she didnt need to do it, or was forced to do it.