young, close relative has become an "escort" WWYD?

[notreallymehere]

20 something low closeish relative has become an escort. She has been thinking about it for a while, tried it in London, stopped but now has gone back to it in her home town. She is with what appears to be reputable agency and seems to be making quite a lot of money. Lots of reviews now appearing on her webpage etc. She appears fully happy with her choice - she had a job before (working in a coffee bar) but says that the money is better with this (she has previously worked as a lap dancer). My question is what do I tell my friends/acquaintances if they ask about her. I've discussed this with some people when she first started in London and the reaction was very aggressive "well you should have stopped her" etc etc. (hence name change) Fact is that she is an adult and this is her choice and I cannot see how I can stop her - she is making a far bit of money at this and is very financially motivated. However she is part of the family and it is difficult to avoid the questions but many people are very judgemental (of me for somehow "allowing" this to happen).

I think the thing is, if you don't see a problem with her choice, then really it's about you being fake, not her.

I would hate it if a young member of my family was a prostitute, because I think it's demeaning for women (and men) to sell their bodies and dangerous, no matter how nice the escort agency seems. I have loads of other objections, but they are all irrelevant because they are my opinions and everyone is free to disagree.

It seems to me you're fine with her choice and have no strong view about what is 'right' or 'wrong', but are worried about other people judging you?

So I guess you can either learn to lie better or to care a bit less?

tinker, if you take conditioned to mean acting without true understanding, then oui, bien sur

Entertainment business or
Client Services
Let them wonder

But why does that mean no-one can do it and actually enjoy it, enjoy the buzz, and nights out, and the money.

In any job we all give something of ourselves for money, a talent for something or whatever. Whats the difference between selling you mind, and selling your body.

yes i know im not arguing my point well, sorry.

Scurry, "then oui, bien sur". So you agree, your statement that "women are conditioned" is condescending.

scurryfunge for some people (not sure how many) sex is an act which has no meaning but is still fun, otherwise there would be no market for prostitutes. The existance of male prostitutes (for women) shows that at least some women actually simply like the act of having sex without having to be emotionally attached to their partner. What about one night stands? Why do people have them if no one finds sex without attachment fun? As for the links that the industry has - can I take it that you never buy anything from any industry which has dodgy links (eg the clothing industry or Nestle?)

Can't you accept that sex can be just that for some people - sex - a fun, physical act? Not part of a long term relationship or indeed any relationship, just sex.

Funny because the 'workers' i know of were the oposite of your description, of low self confidence and what not. and you never said WHO decides. I dont get why anyone would know better than the women themselves, and of my friends they feel quite chuffed with themselves. so.... conditioned or not, they are bloody happy!

Is selling your body for sex any different to selling your body (and possibly life) to the armed forces?

Because enjoying the night out, the buzz, etc is deluding yourself into making it more acceptable (and publicly more acceptable). People may feel they enjoy the "atmosphere" of exploitation but they are falling into the trap.

Take a look on the feminist boards -there will be far more eloquent people to explain why is is destructive.

You are not responsible for this woman and you are not her owner. She is an adult and its up to her what she does: if anyone else asks, just say 'Why don't you talk to her about it.' If they carry on asking, just repeat yourself (called the broken-record technique, very effective on nosey bastards).
I see the usual whiners are already on the thread insisting that no woman is capable of making up her own mind to take up sex work, despite plenty of evidence to the contrary.

I should have said truly consensual, fun OR loving not meaning all three at once necessarily so I can see why you picked up on that comment soggy.

I'm a writer. It's the second oldest profession. It has much in common with the oldest... as do a lot of jobs...

Oh yeah SGB and I can see your usual contradictory whining in evidence too.

Going to leave the thread for a bit.

Well what if the women on the femensit bored are just as conditioned to believe what they believe?

The industry is just as valid as IT, or journalism, theres a need, and people willing and able to fill that need. If there are corrupt fuckers in it, and yes there certainly are, they are the problem, not the ones who are happy and willing and exchanging services without complaint.

And no one has given a reason why its different to 'selling' any other part of ones self, our mind, our abilities etc. If its something that your happy to sell, and you have a buyer, whats the deal?

Sex for many people, myself included, CAN be just sex, an enjoyable act, thats better than Eastenders.

People may feel they enjoy the "atmosphere" of exploitation but they are falling into the trap

If there are corrupt fuckers in it

If she is doing extra's she isn't an escort she is a prostitue.

All you can do is what you think is best, ensure she gets checked for STD's every six months and is safe.

What is your interpretation of the word prostitute?

I feel that I prostitute myself for low money every day in a job that gives me no satisfaction (no pun intended). I feel my self-esteem is lowered by this and I am not empowered in any way by what I do.

I am not in the sex undustry but am I prostituting myself?

Sorry - this is way off track but I find the debate interesting.

If she chooses (through having a sound mind and free will) to do this job that makes her happy and wealthy then she is less of a prostitute than me????

Ooops, are you the one on the other thread who has a broken bed? Id say Yes, you must be a prossie

Public relations...

Prostitution is illegal, there is a difference.

You can get a criminal record for prostitution.

Not for being in a low paid job that gives you no satisfaction.

It is a dangerous profession, I couldn't do it, hats off to those who can.

prostitute comes from the Latin pro and statuere and literally means "to offer up front" so I think that it comes from the idea that the sex was openly offered. The OED defines it as someone who offers sex for money indiscriminately. However it has come to mean (again according to the OED) someone who sells their talents for some base or unworthy purpose so I'd say that under thsi definition anyone who works for money, as opposed to doing something that they feel is worth doing for its own sake, could be classed as prostituting themselves :) I worked in finance once - that certainly felt debasing for me - am not suggesting that it is btw :) just that I hated doing something that I felt was not making life better for anyone. This is just my personal view though and I have lots of accountant friends who disagree [grins]

Yep - that's me!

The broken bed and my concerns about being a prostitute in my crappy job are not connected, honestly!

Perhaps it might be the money problem solved and more satisfaction in my job too!

I find the idea of what constitutes a prostitute interesting. Is it just linked to sex?

If not, perhaps more women and men are living by immoral (?) or improper (?) means.......

It puts a new angle on the OP's original point about the relative and also on the attitudes of the friends and aquaintances.

Actually classydiva, prostitution isn't illegal. Soliciting, living off immoral earnings etc are but prostitution in and of itself is not illegal. One reason why in this country many independent working girls will call the police if a client gets a bit funny (often to the surprise of the client!)