young, close relative has become an "escort" WWYD?

[notreallymehere]

20 something low closeish relative has become an escort. She has been thinking about it for a while, tried it in London, stopped but now has gone back to it in her home town. She is with what appears to be reputable agency and seems to be making quite a lot of money. Lots of reviews now appearing on her webpage etc. She appears fully happy with her choice - she had a job before (working in a coffee bar) but says that the money is better with this (she has previously worked as a lap dancer). My question is what do I tell my friends/acquaintances if they ask about her. I've discussed this with some people when she first started in London and the reaction was very aggressive "well you should have stopped her" etc etc. (hence name change) Fact is that she is an adult and this is her choice and I cannot see how I can stop her - she is making a far bit of money at this and is very financially motivated. However she is part of the family and it is difficult to avoid the questions but many people are very judgemental (of me for somehow "allowing" this to happen).

Is it possible that the relative will be putting some of her new earnings into her education/training for an alternative/setting up her own straight business?

for those of you who may be confused

working as an escort means you are sent to meet a date

you are expected to have sex with that date

this is not pretty woman or some other self empowering fantasy

sex with a random stranger, he pays and tells you what to do
escort agencies do not take you on unless you understand this

Because it sounds like you are a bit naive when it comes to the exploitation of women....prostitution is exploitative no matter how you dress it up.

Rannaldini you are right - I'm not that against it. From what I've gathered she appears to actually like sex , was always pretty promiscuous and into one night stands . She is practicing safe sex. I wonder - had I been posting to say that I was really concerend because a 20 year old male relative was sleeping around would your response have been the same?

Scurry, no it isnt.

charlie - of course it is. You are not another "it empowers women and improves their choices" kind of girl are you?

Rannaldini have a very different experience with my friends who worked for an agency in Bham. 3 freinds worked (now 2 social workers and a sahm)for the same company, they were employed by 'professionals' to attend 'functions' charity doos, conferences, sporting events. They had to supply their own suitable clothing/jewellery (they had the most beautiful ball gowns )and 'be up on current affairs'. They had a great time.

Rannaldini no you're not necessarily expected to have sex with that date. Many escort agencies are very clear about that with both their employees and their clients - the client is NOT to expect sex at the end of the date, that is not what they are paying for, they are paying for company, and the employee is told that, if they do choose to have sex with that client, for extra money or not, it is not to have a detrimental effect upon the reputation of the agency.

If the woman chooses to do this, and is happy doing this, then she aint being exploited.

It isnt illegal.

she isn't sleeping around

she's being paid to prostitute herself to anyone with a few £5s

if you were writing to say your nephew etc was really into sex and liked money so had decided to work as a rent boy I'd be equally aghast

oh come on...do you honestly think that is what escort agencies are all about?

Escort agencies cannot advertise to do anything else -otherwise it would be illegal.

Ive been put in a box - thats a bit harsh. Im not nieve, i like sex and dont see it as a special gift or giving someone my flower or whatever fairytale thing fits. Its just sex, its not a big deal so long as everyones having a good time and is in agreement and safe. Its just something fun to do.

Rannaldini in her case yes she is expected to have sex (she is paid by the hour) but she is not expected to do anything - there is a list - straight sex (called GFE meaning that you are expected to talk to them and kiss them as well, not just lie there), anal sex etc. She only does straight sex (this is clear from her web page and it is made clear in the T&Cs and when clients book that this is all they will get - if they want anything that she is not happy to do then they need to book another girl is who happy to do whatever they want. This is one reason why agencies are different to being on the street - it is all literally there in black and white so no chance of misunderstandings.

OP's question was: "what do I tell my friends/acquaintances if they ask about her." Answer: "I don't know." The end.

glad you cleared that up for me

just sex
with anyone who pays
ok then

that's much better

I find these sorts of threads odd tbh. Would any of you presume to know what a cleaner/office worker thinks/feels about her job? Have any of you worked as an escort or have a close friend who has? No?

FWIW I loved dancing. I'd do it again in a flash if I was ever slim enough (bloody kids). None of my 'whore' friends seemed unhappy with what they did. They were close friends of mine and we talked about everything (Babydubs you probably are niave. I was @ some of the requests they had). I am still in touch with two of them. one who is still happily working, but less hours now and one who has completed her degree and now has a career. Niether seem at all mentally scarred.

There is an alternative to the trafficked girls and addicts you see on TV. There are girls who are happy to do this work. There are also men who are hapy to do sex work (both gay and straight).

tinkeritonk I think that what bothers me is that I do know, I'm a cr*p lier and it bothers me that I feel that I need to lie or should lie when actually she has just choosen to do this. Part of the reason I posted was to see what sort of reaction I'd get if I did do what I'd like to do and came clean about her choices rather than saying "I don't know" whilst looking shifty :)

No, i know the requests, i found it all quite facinating, quizzed them all relentlessly they all went out on the saturday and we had our girly slumber party on sunday for all the gory details. great laugh. I went on a few of the communal dates, the sport ones were the best though, could relax a bit more at those.

Well does she want you to spread the news? Or did she tell you in confidence?

OP Give them her web address, they are nosey buggers.

There are women who are conditioned to feel this is an acceptable lifestyle. Just because some have degrees or children now doesn't mean they were not part of an exploitative profession.

Prostitution degrades women and I am not basing opinion on trafficked addicts you see on tv.

Who decides they are degraded though? (genuine)

Scurryfunge, "There are women who are conditioned..." A hint of condescension there, no? Un soupcon, n'est-ce-pas?

Babydubs,

Because the industry perpetuates stereotypes and passes on the message that sex can be bought and that women are commodities. It separates sex from being something truly consensual, fun and loving and it just becomes an act with no meaning.

To take part in the industry demonstrates lack of self esteem and colludes with men who want sexual acts based on a financial transaction. The industry has strong links with trafficking, drugs, debt, gambling -anything really associated with money, power and control.