to think that some smokers are selfish f****?

[glitzalicious]

so DH and I took my mum (who we rarely see for geographical reasons) and 9-month-old DS for lunch at a pricey restaurant in London today. It was freezing but there were no seats available inside, so at the suggestion of the waitress we sat at a table outside, near a patio heater, and ordered what looked set to be a very nice lunch.
A few minutes after we sat down, a woman in her 50s and her younger male companion came and sat on the table next to us, and both proceeded to light up cigarettes, inches from DS's face (the tables were extremely close together, and he was sitting on my mum's lap, happily eating his lunch). DH very politely asked the man if they would mind not smoking so close to the baby, to which he replied: "It's a free country". His leather-faced companion then gestured to a table at the other end of the al fresco area, with no heater anywhere near, and said: "Nobody's stopping you from moving". DH was quite stunned, and said: 'I think that's quite inconsiderate; it's really bad for the baby", and the bloke said: "I know", before shrugging his shoulders and turning back to his haggard old witch of a friend. I couldn't believe that people could be so selfish; to expect my DS (who had been sitting there before them) to either inhale all of their carcinogens (the fact the guy acknowledged that his habit was harmful to DC was quite shocking) or freeze, just so they could get their nicotine fix. Why the f* did they not move? We did get up and try to cancel our order; it was too late so we had to sit, completely freezing, in the heater-free zone. I have no axe to grind with smokers; if someone chooses to poison their own body it's no one's business but their own. But I would never think that others should suffer just so I could indulge a habit, and if someone were to ask me to stop doing something (talking too loudly in a restaurant etc) I would be so mortified at the prospect of impacting someone's enjoyment of their meal I would stop immediately, as they have just as much right to a nice lunch/dinner out as I do.
People always go on about a 'right to smoke': AIBU to think that right extends only to a smoker's home, or a child-free area? My blood is still boiling over those bastards!

Lol I was thinking more....

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OMG, that is utterly disturbing. He smokes just like an adult - same gestures and everything!

I like this thread :o
OP ofcourse yabu, you could have swapped seats with your DS or changed tables if it was that bad rather than lecturing them on the effects of smoking.

The smell of smokers is 'that bad', however no it is not say as bad as lighting up a crack pipe next to a baby if that's where you draw your line?

Yeah, I don't think smokers actually realise how utterly disgusting and sickening it is being next to someone who is smoking.

In my experience many smokers have absolutely no idea where their smoke goes. My dh for example tried to argue that if he sat by an open window to smoke that was the same as going outside. The fact that the air from outside came in, carrying the smoke with it was totally beyond him because he couldn't smell it. Likewise if someone is in your close vicinity you can't just tilt your head a bit to avoid it, as the smoke will spread. Besides which although the OP is most concerned about her baby the smoke is unpleasant for everyone (and whilst breathing in the smoke from one cigarette will not kill everyone it is a damaging substance so something that people should avoid).

The OP said that the restaurant was child friendly and that the waitress suggested sitting outside, by the heater near another family. She also said that the restaurant had a large al fresco area so this isn't some little huddle for the poor ostracized smokers. It's not amazingly easy to find nice restaurants that are child friendly, but it is very easy to find somewhere to smoke (also it is worth knowing that the reason you can't smoke inside is two fold, firstly to protect the health of the workers at the venue and secondly because it's been shown to be a very effective tool in reducing smoking rates, ie to give yet another incentive for smokers to stop smoking). It's also not terribly surprising that many new mothers are anxious about their babies being exposed to smoke as the don't smoke when you are pregnant/have a baby message is very very strong (again partly to protect babies, but also because it is a window of opportunity to get people to stop somking).

We do chaya because Mn likes to tell us frequently

I am still struggling with the idea that sitting outside in January could possibly be considered a fun way to spend your time. If a waitress suggested it to me I would probably fall about the place laughing and belatedly realise that she wasn't joking.

If you do usualsuspect then why do some smokers insist on you sharing their 'distinct' smell by acting like these idiots in the OP's anecdote?

Err they were outside

or because I'm a selfish fucker that doesn't give a toss ..is that the right answer?

Why do people insist on eating garlic and then sitting next to you on the train..or wearing crap perfume etc..it's just a smell at the end of the day, nothing to get all prissy about.

[sniggers and points] Usualsuspect SMEEEEELLS!

Oh gawd - strong perfume on public transport. Now that really should be banned!

Why is it a struggle to comprehend that it was sufficiently acceptable in terms of heat to have sat in this area kung-fupanda. Presumbly, if it wasn't they would have said forget it. I went to an Italian restaurant in late November with the same set up. It was comfortable enough to enjoy my DP's birthday meal. My 3 year old survived! We went at 4.30 to lessen our impact on the enjoyment of childless diners in the evening. We know our place socially since having a child it's not like your not reminded of this frequently if you dare to venture out with them. Most restaurants aren't very accomodating of children and even if they are you have to endure the disdainful looks of some customers who think your child just talking is an irritation!

Strong perfume makes me ill too, especially going into bathrooms after someone has squirted air freshener or perfume I find it quite difficult to breathe. Also if dh uses aerosol type polish. I think it's because they involve fine particles in the air. The thing is mostly such things can be fairly easily avoided by moving, going elsewhere or holding my breath if I'm really desperate. But if you've ordered an expensive meal there's little choice but to eat it, so you are a bit stuck. I would stand in the rain (and have done) to avoid being smoked over, so given the choice of getting cold or being smoked on I'd choose the former, I just wouldn't enjoy it much, which is a bit sad if you've gone out to celebrate isn't it.

kungfupannda - I'm sorry that the knowledge of my DD's screaming fit offended you, I removed her and I hope you can now get on with your day quite happily

By "removed her" I meant gave her some milk, nappy change then nap

"Why is it a struggle to comprehend that it was sufficiently acceptable in terms of heat to have sat in this area kung-fupanda."

Because it is about zero degrees here and there was a single heat-lamp.

Mumgonecrazy - humph. Well, I suppose it will have to do, but please make sure it doesn't happen again.

Er... they weren't outside on the street though were they they were in an outside area of a restaurant where other people were trying to eat!

No, no you don't understand it is not just a smell like any other it really does stink.....BAD!

Try telling that to her back teeth - It's their fault

They were in the smoking area

[pats Usualsuspect on the back consolingly]

Against PFBitis, there is no reasoning.

If that was the temperature felt kung-fupanda the OP wouldn't have sat their would she? Along with the other family who deemed the temperature as acceptable to.