to think that some smokers are selfish f****?

[glitzalicious]

so DH and I took my mum (who we rarely see for geographical reasons) and 9-month-old DS for lunch at a pricey restaurant in London today. It was freezing but there were no seats available inside, so at the suggestion of the waitress we sat at a table outside, near a patio heater, and ordered what looked set to be a very nice lunch.
A few minutes after we sat down, a woman in her 50s and her younger male companion came and sat on the table next to us, and both proceeded to light up cigarettes, inches from DS's face (the tables were extremely close together, and he was sitting on my mum's lap, happily eating his lunch). DH very politely asked the man if they would mind not smoking so close to the baby, to which he replied: "It's a free country". His leather-faced companion then gestured to a table at the other end of the al fresco area, with no heater anywhere near, and said: "Nobody's stopping you from moving". DH was quite stunned, and said: 'I think that's quite inconsiderate; it's really bad for the baby", and the bloke said: "I know", before shrugging his shoulders and turning back to his haggard old witch of a friend. I couldn't believe that people could be so selfish; to expect my DS (who had been sitting there before them) to either inhale all of their carcinogens (the fact the guy acknowledged that his habit was harmful to DC was quite shocking) or freeze, just so they could get their nicotine fix. Why the f* did they not move? We did get up and try to cancel our order; it was too late so we had to sit, completely freezing, in the heater-free zone. I have no axe to grind with smokers; if someone chooses to poison their own body it's no one's business but their own. But I would never think that others should suffer just so I could indulge a habit, and if someone were to ask me to stop doing something (talking too loudly in a restaurant etc) I would be so mortified at the prospect of impacting someone's enjoyment of their meal I would stop immediately, as they have just as much right to a nice lunch/dinner out as I do.
People always go on about a 'right to smoke': AIBU to think that right extends only to a smoker's home, or a child-free area? My blood is still boiling over those bastards!

And we didn't 'choose to sit outside in a packed restaurant'; there are only two tables inside, the rest - 30 tables or so - is al fresco, so the majority of patrons of this place sit outside. The waitress told us to sit near the heaters that were working, as there was another family there (she was clearly not expecting some selfish fucks to wedge themselves between us: the other fam left immediately after they arrived). All this BS about 'rights' really winds me up; and tends to be spouted by people with chips on their shoulder IME.
It's my right to give up work; have 15 kids, live off the state and have all of you lot support me. Would you support this 'right', enshrined in law, if I chose to exercise it?

Glitz - you appear to have misunderstood AIBU. The point is to express your opinion and get a response - not express your opinion and expect everyone to agree. I am not a smoker however smokers have a right to smoke outside. It is pretty much the only place you can smoke in peace and I would rather there then anywhere else.

I think taking your mum out and not thinking to make a reservation so sitting outside in january, is somewhat foolish but that is my opinion - doesnt make it right. There is no law that says a baby shouldnt be sitting outside in the cold for a length of time so you could sample the patio of a posh restaurant but it certainly wouldnt be a choice I would make. Horses for courses.

Sorry, dear, but you are just being very silly.

You're having a go at the poor old smokers ...

... because you fucked up, and now you're pissed off.

You know, and I know, if you were that upset, you should have taken it up with the management.

You should have gone inside, spoken to the manager and asked he/she if they thought it was appropriate making you all sit outside when you had a baby in your number.

Or you should have gone somewhere else if it was so freezing.

Blaming the smokers for

-the weather
-poor provision of outdoor heating
-poor service
-your putting up with all that

is really not on.

I see the two groups of you, huddled around the heater, and you scowling at them, telling them they have to go and sit in the cold.

Why should they? If it was too cold for your baby, it wouldn't have been massively pleasant for them, either. Why should they suffer their way through a meal (which was something they, too, were paying for)?

And you know it, really. Unless this is all a wind-up. What with all the extraneous references to 50 year old women and her (implied) toyboy.

You're being very nasty about the woman (leather-faced, haggard old witch), when it sound like it was the man that you had words with. Why is that?

You chose to sit (outside, in January, with a bayyyyyybeeee) in the smoking area. What did you expect would happen?

YABU.
I don't like smoking, I don't like the fact that if I sit outside a restaurant or pub I am likely to get smoked over, but I deal with it as I am aware that this is a free country and smokers are, by force of the law, required to smoke outside.

You chose to sit outside because there were no tables - you could have gone elsewhere rather than been cold and smoked over.
You chose not to move when smokers sat nearby - you could have moved to another table.
You chose to ask them to prioritise your pleasure and enjoyment over theirs - you could have left if you were that concerned about your child.

The world does not revolve around you. It is for you to choose what action you take to protect your child from something potentially harmful, not for everyone else to stop their entirely legal activity just because you are choosing to remain in their vicinity.

Yabu. Don't sit outside at restaurants with your dc.

Am pretty certain that if you got rat arsed and behaved antisocially (like a neanderthal) in the street, the police might have something to say (breach of the peace, drunk and disorderly).

Get a grip.

Bloody Nora op ..anyone else you would like to slag off ?

YABU, for all the reasons already stated. I find it odd that you opted to sit outside a restaurant in the winter in the first place, considering that you did not wish to smoke and, moreover, that you had a baby with you. Faced with a choice of outside in a cold London street/piazza/whatever with a baby or inside another restaurant I'd have opted for the latter. The smokers however would have had to have sat outside no matter which restaurant they chose, if they wished to smoke.

YANBU! I have nothing against smokers, I accept that smokers have to smoke somewhere and that generally they are found sitting outside restaurants/pubs etc. HOWEVER, I am still a bit surprised that a smoker would choose to sit next to a small baby and a family who are eating.

Altinkum, why should the OP move to a colder spot for the duration of the meal when a smoker, also easily removeable from place to place, could have had a quick cigarette at a different table away from the baby??!!

OP, of course not all smokers are selfish, but your post highlights just how ignorant some people can be generally, smokers or otherwise. Whats wrong with people just being nice?

You see, you really seem to think that they are selfish purely because they wished to be warm. And just didn't recognise that it was you that had the right to be warm.

You seem to think that they should have tugged their forelocks and said:

"Yes'm, Glitz'm, we'd be right proud to go and sit in the cold so as you 'n' little bairn can sit in t'warmth. Ma'am, can we please throw ourselves on't patio heater t'provide more heat for you 'n' t'bairn. Yes'm, be proud to do it, we's would."

Extraordinarily, people rarely act in such ways, these days.

I blame mass education.

It's tricky in London, there's so few restaurants to choose from.

Think some posters are being very rude. YANBU, OP. I think it takes a lot of front to smoke very near a baby whether or not you think you have a "right" to smoke or not. I can;t imagine that anyone on this thread who thought the OP was BU would actually deliberately light up a fag next to a baby. It's not right. The smokers should have moved to a table further away.

animula - snort

yanbu. i am allegic to smoke and do find this a problem outside cafes/pubs etc in the summer. i am not anti-smoking and when i have explained about my health people are usually very helpful for example blowing smoke in opp direction. i have even had people offer to put cig out(which i kindly refuse as they are entitled to smoke there, as am i to sit there and not be ill, as your baby is to sit there with family and be warm)it sounds as if you were polite and i think they could have easily adjusted where the smoke went so that none (or maybe a small amount) just came your way and everyone could have enjoyed sitting near the heater

YABU. Next time wait for a table indoors or accept that there may be people having a cig outside. Simple really.

x posts sorry, Im not fast enough!

Why is the outside automatically meant to be the "smokers area". It pisses me off. In the summer its a nightmare trying to sit outside in restuarants without people blowing smoke all over you. All places to eat should be smoke free, but thats just my opinion.

Hmmm.

YABU and YANBU.

I, as a smoker, wouldn't sit next to a baby, even if it was the only available table. Or, rather, I would just get up and walk away few steps to smoke.

Sure, it's outside, but if the wing blows it straight in the baby's direction- well, it's just not on, is it?

OTOH, it is their right to smoke there, so you should plan your lunches better in the future- book the table inside in advance or arrive earlier. Whenever you choose to sit outside you have to be aware you will probably be sharing space with smokers.And they were not selfish, because they were smokers-they were just selfish.

Harverina I actually agree with that but the fact remains that if the restaurant hasnt designated it as that and provide smoking facilities - i.e. ashtrays etc then it is fair to assume that people who smoke will do so on the patio.

PMSL @ Zachary

(Thanks matey, you've made me cough through chuckling so much!).