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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel uncharitably that she has got her comeuppance

190 replies

OhdearNigel · 03/01/2011 17:22

(am a regular poster but have namechanged)

SIL and I have babies of the same age. We decided to BLW, she wanted to do purees. I never said a word about her decision, although she made it quite clear both to me, MIL and DH that she though BLW was dangerous & we shouldn't be doing it blah, blah. ILs have made subtle and not so subtle attempts to undermine BLWing at their house.

FF to christmas. We were all together and MIL did dinner for the babies. DN would not eat any of what had been done and SIL ended up pureeing it as he started screaming when she tried to spoon feed him with it (it was finely cut up). Apparently he won't eat anything that isn't pureed to within an inch of it's life. DD enthusiastically tackled her roast dinner all by herself, roast potatoes and all. DD eats anything you put in front of her

SIL then comments that she now wishes she had gone the BLWing route as DN is very fussy with food. AIBU to feel a sense of "I told you so" smugness ?

OP posts:
JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 04/01/2011 10:44

I wonder what will happen when the OP's 3yo refuses to eat with cutlery, while the SIL's happily tucks into steak and chips, knife and fork in hand Grin

There's a whole generation out there who will never eat soup you know. Purees being evil and all that Wink

I do find all this BLW fixation a bit odd. Surely we all gave our babies a bit of toast to much on whilst helping them eat their scrambled eggs? It's not exactly new is it? It's all a bit Emperor's New Clothes, imo.

comewhinewithme · 04/01/2011 10:44

My youngest was BLW and Breastfed and is a total nightmare with food.

DD(5) was formul fed and purees and eats anything you put in front of her.

Nothing to be smug about IMO it all depends on the baby and the mood it is in that day.
My baby was miserable xmas day totally ovrwhelmed and coming down with a bug.

Nevereatyellowsnow · 04/01/2011 10:59

I think it just comes down to luck, my ds was weaned on purees and eats anything while my dn was blw and drives the whole family mad at mealtimes with her fussiness. They all go through these phases, its got nothing to do with how they were weaned imo.

MamaVoo · 04/01/2011 11:01

Surely it's the first rule of parenting that as soon as you start to feel smug about something it all changes. I used to feel a little bit smug that my baby ate anything (not that we did BLW). It didn't last though. He's a fussy little sod now.

sungirltan · 04/01/2011 11:03

yanbu. i am also super proud of dd (15 months) who eats everything and very much enjoyed her xmas dinner. BUT since i spend loads of time with other families, this i know, the attitude toward baby feeding is more importnant than the method in the beginning. i know really relaxed parents who make mealtime fun and interesting and hey presto their babies eat plenty and enjoy it. i also know some parents who approach each mealtime like a battle and this results in screaming, awkward and frankly distressed babies who barely eat.

TandB · 04/01/2011 11:11

[elbows BitofFun hard in the ribs and points out earlier post re: slings/co-sleeping/BLW]
Oy! Not everyone who does those things is smugtastic. only most of them

woolymindy · 04/01/2011 11:13

This says so much more about you than it does her!

Quenelle · 04/01/2011 12:38

Feel smug by all means but don't gloat too loudly. BLW does not guarantee unfussiness, particularly when they reach toddlerhood. You only have to check out the forum on the BLW website.

K12Mom · 04/01/2011 12:42

How does a child with no teeth eat finger food?

sungirltan · 04/01/2011 14:22

k12 - mine did from 6 months - think she got first tooth at 8!

Quenelle · 04/01/2011 14:30

K12 - they suck or gum it. No problem.

LadyintheRadiator · 04/01/2011 14:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

otchayaniye · 04/01/2011 14:35

I am a hard-core BLW (didn't wean until 7 months and then it was all steak and no spoons) and I find your attitude really weird.

Perhaps her baby was having a bad moment. Perhaps he wasn't that hungry. Perhaps he didn't particularly like the food.

Your baby will have days like that.

Inwardly smirking at another parent's weak spot is unpleasant.

As for digs about your so-called dangerous parenting just rise above it. You're not the first, nor last to be called into question.

otchayaniye · 04/01/2011 14:38

I agree that just letting kids eat what they want, not offering it up to them too eagerly and hovering and looking pleased when they eat, unhappy and stressed when they don't, and how you all eat and behave in front of them plays more of a role I think than whether you offered some purees in the very early days.

And even then, they become fussy. It's about imposing their will on the world and determining their tastes and windingyouup

saffy85 · 04/01/2011 14:39

Don't be too smug OP. I was once upon a time when DD hoovered up everything on her plate and demanded seconds

Sadly I now have a 3 year old who wont eat "yucky vegatibbles" (she used to eat them all, including ones I hate like cabbage and sprouts) and now would happily live off yogurts, apples, toast, white chocolate and cornflakes if I let her. And nothing else. ho hum.

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