to feel uncharitably that she has got her comeuppance

[OhdearNigel]

(am a regular poster but have namechanged)

SIL and I have babies of the same age. We decided to BLW, she wanted to do purees. I never said a word about her decision, although she made it quite clear both to me, MIL and DH that she though BLW was dangerous & we shouldn't be doing it blah, blah. ILs have made subtle and not so subtle attempts to undermine BLWing at their house.

FF to christmas. We were all together and MIL did dinner for the babies. DN would not eat any of what had been done and SIL ended up pureeing it as he started screaming when she tried to spoon feed him with it (it was finely cut up). Apparently he won't eat anything that isn't pureed to within an inch of it's life. DD enthusiastically tackled her roast dinner all by herself, roast potatoes and all. DD eats anything you put in front of her

SIL then comments that she now wishes she had gone the BLWing route as DN is very fussy with food. AIBU to feel a sense of "I told you so" smugness ?

Pancakeflipper at 18.30 what an ace post. Top notch work.

Nothing to do with the method, otherwise we'd all be faddy eaters, no? More to do with attitudes adults impart to food and the child's own character.

Dc1 puree - excellent eater - malleable

Dc2 BLW - faddy eater - stubborn as a goat

DC3 started weaning yesterday - purees and a hunk of banana - carpet cleaner at the ready

I doubt it had anything to do with method, either, but if she was told her way was dangerous and weird and her child is the better eater, then smugness is understandable, no?

I think militantcy over such trivia is bonkers in all directions. Like you can tell when they're 10, how they were weaned.

I did BLW mostly down to laziness, but did some purees as well, mainly when it was more convenient to spoon copiously for the sake of speed/less mess. I think I'm just naturally promiscuous. DS has ended up with a love of brussel sprouts which IMO indicates I did something very, very wrong. Oh well.

*militancy.

islandhopper I think purees are more likely to be seen as the fad. Weren't many blenders around 50 years ago.

Sieves, HappySkiing - and hand powered moulis, potato ricers, strainers and forks

But HSKNY there were forks then. And porridge.

Agree with the consensus - feel smug at your peril, it will bite you on the bum eventually.

Maisie your kitchen is clearly better-stocked than mine:)

I had an angel child, that put on weight, slept through the night, ate anything she was given when weaned. Now she is nearly 7, she will eat her (Belgian) school lunches with gusto. Will she eat MY food - will she feck! She eats pasta and carrots. I despair.

I confess - I have only forks and sieves. The others are gadgets that I believe other more organised women possess

You sound so smug! And really surely its your baby who deserves the credit not you!

yanbu to feel that way, but you are not sounding too good, posting about it on mn.

happy skiing As Maisie says, there have always been plenty of ways to skin (puree) a cat... My DM has a fab mouli which I think was my DG's from before WWII. However, I believe people can make their own choices - BLW or pureeing - whichever they think is best.

I think that it is natural to feel like that but I would stop the competition now. DCs are very fickle, many a DC who eats everything at 12 months is onto 6 foods by the age of 2yrs. You really can't control how they behave!

I don't think the OP is unreasonable AT ALL to be slightly smug about the fact that someone who has repeatedly criticised her parenting choices should be put in a postition where she has to admit that maybe one of those choices was a good idea.

I speak as the parent of a fussy eater who would only eat mush for a very long time. I agree that the choices we make over things like weaning can make little difference, but it is still satisfying to prove that a BLW wasn't an actual danger to the child, and might even be of benefit.

I do have to say though that SIL was very gracious to say she thought she'd been wrong and BLW might have been the way to go. That was nice of her, and she didn't have to. In my family I would have got the "it's funny how they're all different, isn't it?" not "your choice was a good one."

I do have to say though that SIL was very gracious to say she thought she'd been wrong and BLW might have been the way to go. That was nice of her, and she didn't have to. In my family I would have got the "it's funny how they're all different, isn't it?" not "your choice was a good one."

So you do BLW, co-sleeping, 'babywearing' and reusable nappies?

I would say that she has probably made snippy comments to you on account of you being so smuggletastic in every way when it comes to babies. There's a great film called 'Away We Go' you might like. The Maggie Gyllenhall character might find a way to out-smug you, but only just.

To be fair if the OP, as she says, hasn't being banging on about the virtues of her parenting choices I don't think she is necessarily smug about them. It sounds as though it is the SIL who was convinced that her way was better (although we do only have one side of the story).
I was VERY smug when my 18-month-old started having a conversation with the childminder at our local playgroup who had told me that giving a dummy "to shut her up" past 6 months would delay her speech. I feel even more smug when I see the junk she feeds her charges and some of her more questionable methods of dealing with the kids. It's petty and it's not a good trait but I can't help it.
I'm sure it will come back to bite me on the arse when DD isn't attending Oxford aged 12 but I think it's a natural thing that if someone's been a bitch to slightly enjoy seeing them struggle with something - particularly if that happens to be something they have preached at you about in the past.

We don't know that her SIL has been a bitch - as you say, we're only hearing one side of the story. This is one of those occasions where I would love to hear what the SIL has to say about Nigel and her child-rearing techniques

I understand your smugness if someone has tried to undermine your parenting in the past I can understand that you might feel a little smug in this situation.

I wouldn't be so quick to pat yourself on your back and congratulate yourself on going down the blw route. Both my boys were weaned on purees and are both good eaters. With Ds2 I couldn't go down the blw route as he point blank refused to take anything that wasn't spoonfed. But now at 8 months old he has both and he also sat down and ate a christmas lunch.

I think it is mostly down to luck, I honestly don't think that one method of feeding is better than the other. You have to follow your babies lead and do what you think suits them best which in my babies case was purees in the beginning.

Notpartoftheplan, I love your post! I always hought that BLW as an "eats chunky food from the word go" was really badly named! Surely baby led weaning should mean that you follw your baby's lead and if puree is what they want puree they should get and vice versa?

Good post Gorionine! Given that the baby wouldn't be given puree by the parents intent on BLW, then it should perhaps be relabelled "eats chunky food from the word go at the insistence of the parents" - or PLW?

YANBU to feel a little smug that your SIL having openly criticised your parenting decisions then admits to having been wrong to do so (and well done to her for doing so!).

You are however extremely brave (and possibly a bit U) to have come on here and posted about it. For some reason weaning, nappies, sleeping etc. seem to provoke some truly epic feeding frenzies...

I wonder if its because we're all paranoid and care a great deal about making the correct decisions for our DCs all the time. Having someone be even the faintest bit smug about a parenting decision that is different to our own makes us incredibly defensive.