to feel uncharitably that she has got her comeuppance

[OhdearNigel]

(am a regular poster but have namechanged)

SIL and I have babies of the same age. We decided to BLW, she wanted to do purees. I never said a word about her decision, although she made it quite clear both to me, MIL and DH that she though BLW was dangerous & we shouldn't be doing it blah, blah. ILs have made subtle and not so subtle attempts to undermine BLWing at their house.

FF to christmas. We were all together and MIL did dinner for the babies. DN would not eat any of what had been done and SIL ended up pureeing it as he started screaming when she tried to spoon feed him with it (it was finely cut up). Apparently he won't eat anything that isn't pureed to within an inch of it's life. DD enthusiastically tackled her roast dinner all by herself, roast potatoes and all. DD eats anything you put in front of her

SIL then comments that she now wishes she had gone the BLWing route as DN is very fussy with food. AIBU to feel a sense of "I told you so" smugness ?

I'd go easy on the smugness tbh. My nephew was fed purees, dd2 was neglected and was fed (and ate with gusto) what everyone else was having, not blended just plonked in a bowl in front of her.

Until recently she has been a brilliant eater and my nephew has been quite picky. Now dd2 will only eat beans and my nephew eats anything and everything.

No wonder you name-changed. Smugness is so unattractive, and actually, pride / smugness often comes before a fall. YABU.

PFB much?

For goodness sake - you're feeling smug because your child takes a bit of finger food and your neice doesn't? A wee word to the wise - stop now.

The BLW has no relevance to any of this. Some babies like textures, some don't. YABU and horribly smug with it. I feel for your poor sil if she has this kind of competition every step of the way for next 18 years.

SGM, she has either openly or implicitly criticised every parenting decision I have made, from not putting baby in her own room, to what I dress her in, using a sling (met with raised eyebrows) and using reusable nappies. Everything that hasn't been openly criticised with a sarcastic comment has been met with a cats bum face.

I can see where you're coming from, but smother those feelings as much as you can. Over the years, there will be many times when you have the angelic baby and she has the horror - but just as many when it's mortifyingly the other way round. And chances are it'll be unrelated to what you or she have done or not done.

You've got years and years of close parallel parenting ahead of you both. Have fun.

Btw, it's not that abnormal to feel that BLW could be dangerous if you don't know much about it. People have been feeding babies puree for years, BLW is a new thing so it's understandable that at first people are going to question it.

Simba - BLW is Baby Led Weaning, I had to use the Acronyms tab at the top!

YANBU - it's natural to feel smug! But, I would not mention it to Sil and maybe instead help her out at any shared mealtimes with your respective DC's

so true hohohoho, about the 'at the moment'.

my son went to bed like an angel every night for three years, then I had a year of him refusing point blank to go to bed.

Yanbu to feel a touch smug seeing as she was so vocal and critical

Daft bat she was, maybe she should have shut the fuck up.

niece even

"Commeuppance" Nice so she "deserves" a child that doesn't eat well! You sound lovely!

God.

So your baby eats. Woop de whoop.

You have got to get on with this woman and have conversations about parenting decisions for the next god knows how many years.

Just becasue you 'won' this argument she may well be 'right' the next decision she makes.

Your OP smacks of 'I am consierably better that you', hence why you have been flamed, I think.

And I would add that on balance, from the anecdotal evidence I have read and heard, and the actual evidence I have witnessed, babies who are BF for a long time find it harder to adapt to other types of food than babies who haven't. That's not a value judgement, just an observation. And I'm an old gimmer who has seen lots of babies in my time.

Good job you namechanged!

I wonder what your comeuppance will be?

Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk.

I repeat she has either openly or implicitly criticised every parenting decision I have made, from not putting baby in her own room, to what I dress her in, using a sling (met with raised eyebrows) and using reusable nappies. Everything that hasn't been openly criticised with a sarcastic comment has been met with a cats bum face.

I have said absolutely nothing, ever about what she chooses to do with her child. I couldn't care less what she does but I do care when she starts trying to tell me what to do, entirely unrequested.

Sorry - confused BLW with breast led weaning rather than baby led, but I'd imagine you breast fed.

I feel sorry for your MIL and the rest of the family to be honest...Christmas dinner sounds like an episode of Jersey Housewives!!

Anyway, it was folly of me to mention the word smug. It's surprising on here, a "judgemental" and "smugness" are two concepts that are completely abhorred on here, are actually to be found in abundance.

Perhaps you should have thought more about the wording of your OP then Nigel? On the face of it you just sounded particularly smug.

I remember with dd1, she slept right through the night from 9 weeks, no encouragement, training routine, oh how I basked in my own accomplishments, dd2 came along 2 years later, exactly the same routine, or lack of it etc, three years later she has still to feckin' sleep through!!! My mum warned me and I didn't listen

"Over the years, there will be many times when you have the angelic baby and she has the horror - but just as many when it's mortifyingly the other way round. And chances are it'll be unrelated to what you or she have done or not done."

Hear hear.

You could easily have had a fussy eater haing done BLW, and she could have had a baby who ate everything. Would she then be justified in thinking that you had weaned your child "wrong"?