to feel uncharitably that she has got her comeuppance

[OhdearNigel]

(am a regular poster but have namechanged)

SIL and I have babies of the same age. We decided to BLW, she wanted to do purees. I never said a word about her decision, although she made it quite clear both to me, MIL and DH that she though BLW was dangerous & we shouldn't be doing it blah, blah. ILs have made subtle and not so subtle attempts to undermine BLWing at their house.

FF to christmas. We were all together and MIL did dinner for the babies. DN would not eat any of what had been done and SIL ended up pureeing it as he started screaming when she tried to spoon feed him with it (it was finely cut up). Apparently he won't eat anything that isn't pureed to within an inch of it's life. DD enthusiastically tackled her roast dinner all by herself, roast potatoes and all. DD eats anything you put in front of her

SIL then comments that she now wishes she had gone the BLWing route as DN is very fussy with food. AIBU to feel a sense of "I told you so" smugness ?

Oh blimey - have you all got your holier than thou pants on? Have they been on sale?

Your SIL sounds like mine - she's the only one ever to know anything, about anything. There's only one way to do something (hers) and anything else is dangerous/stupid/neglectful/risky - not ever just 'different'... it gets bloody tedious, so enjoy being told you were right to do BLW, enjoy the moment... it doesn't matter that in 6 months time she may have the eater and you may have the refuser!!

unclench,dont get competitive over minutiae.or you will spend your child formative years tutting and harrumphing sil did this,sil did that

because as sure as sure.you will crow about something and come unstuck.

be the bigger lassie and let go

Well, YANBU to feel cross that she criticised your parenting.

There is unlikely to be any connection at all between the method of weaning and the fact that her child is difficult to feed (at the moment) and yours is easy. The child I weaned on purees is the best eater and the 2 I BLW'd are awful - but I don't think that's connected, either.

Be very very careful not to let your SIL see you feeling smug - because when the day comes when your child stops eating anything except sausages with custard on top, and hers thinks broccoli is the nicest food in the whole-wide-world, she might think you've got your comeuppance.

It's bloody difficult when there are babies the same age in the family, isn't it? Endless comparisons. Just wait till they're both learning to read ...

I think it was quite nice of your SIL to admit she regretted her decision. So in that respect I think you are being unfair to be smug.

We did BLW and our DD ate everything. FF to 18 months and she is now quite fussy. Every child goes through a fussy phase.

Oh, come on people, you must admit that this is a little bit funny at least? Don't you wish that on one occasion at least, your DC could show up someone who has criticised your parenting tactics? Hmm? even if it doesn't last?

(Instead of DD, who likes to save her worst behaviour for the family members who have been cats-bum-face about my no smacking policy. Cheers, sweetie!)

No, what's funny is the knowledge that any level of smuggery or self satisfaction is always followed by a big bite on the bum!

Yes. It could easily have been the other way around, you were just lucky.

Get a life

Its not a competition., you know

Some children eat, some children don't! Weaned both mine the same way- DD will eat anything, everything, huge amounts of it, DS eats almost nothing. Didn't do anything differently, it's just the way they are.

Why name change? It's not as though this is a private and personal question.

YANBU. Who wouldn't feel slightly smug at someone who had been so critical and unpleasant.

However, she will also be having her "I told you so" moments whenever your DC's misbehave.

Just both of you keep them to yourselves.

I dont blame you for feeling pleased that your baby led weaning has been succesful BUT bear in mind before you show it, that what works for one though doesnt work for another.

I have a son who eats everything, slept through the night from 2 weeks and then two and a half years later started to behave like an absolute banshee who is now going through adhd referral. Trust me yours will show you up equally in the future and fwiw you sound equally judgy about sils "pureed beyond belief" food. Its food. By twenty her child is unlikely to still prefer food blitzed to death and yours may not like everything on its plate. Its swings and roundabouts and you both sound as badly competitive as each other. Provided you both feel comfortable that you have happy, healthy babies, it really doesnt matter in the long run, so let other peoples judgy pants go over your head and pack yours away now for your own sanity.

I used BLW with my identical twins. They aren't even two and they already have different food preferences. Different babies do different things. Maybe they'd be fussier if I'd gone the puree route. Maybe they'd be less fussy. Don't know and it's probably impossible to know.

I have to admit, Id feel a bit smug too, in your circumstances :) I do believe in Karma though, so you know you are lined up for some reverse smugness arent you?

OP - please try very hard to suppress the smugness.

I did BLW, I use a sling full-time, I co-slept on and off. I have spent the last 17 months defending my choices against people in real life and on forums who are wildly antagonistic about them. It took me quite a while to figure out that the reason for this is that an awful lot of people who do these things are massively pleased with themselves and therefore spend an awful lot of time telling, or implying to, other people that they are better parents and being, oh what is that word again oh yes, SMUG!. This makes life very difficult for those of us who just do stuff because we like it and think it is the best choice for us.

If she criticises your parenting choices, feel free to pull her up on it. But you are implicitly doing the same to her by suggesting that her weaning choices have caused this problem.

I am a member of another forum which has some lovely, supportive members, but also a hardcore who spend a lot of time posting in abject horror about the fact that they saw a child being carried in a Baby Bjorn and thought about calling Social Services, or that their neighbour isn't co-sleeping and doesn't she know her child is emotionally deprived and will become an axe-murderer.

Why can't we just all get on with it? FFS.

Rant over.

Sorry.

Whoa, careful with the karma OP.

unsuprisingly the op is nowhere to be seen

She's away peeling tomorrow's roast potatoes

yes, child may eat anything as a baby/child but become very fussy when older

I was smug smug smug that my pfb ds ate anything (and he was purees/blw), oh boy did I eat my words when he hit the age 4

It may be petty, it may be ungenerous, but it's sodding well human. I defy most not to feel exactly the same, in your shoes.

YANBU.

at the moment I'm just greatful dd3 8 months old eats ANYTHING whether its bloody puree or proper food. Food is indeed food

YABU & horribly smug.

It probably has nothing to do with BLW vs purees. I weaned my dc exactly the same as each other, yet one eats everything, while one is extremely fussy. Think it's just luck. Wouldn't be surprised if BLW turns out to a fad anyway, which will be derided in years to come. Also think you are counting your chickens before they are hatched - who knows what they'll both be like in a few years.

If you've got more than one child, or a few years of child rearing under your belt then experience tells you that smuggery (when it comes to your offspring) is always short-lived.