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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel uncharitably that she has got her comeuppance

190 replies

OhdearNigel · 03/01/2011 17:22

(am a regular poster but have namechanged)

SIL and I have babies of the same age. We decided to BLW, she wanted to do purees. I never said a word about her decision, although she made it quite clear both to me, MIL and DH that she though BLW was dangerous & we shouldn't be doing it blah, blah. ILs have made subtle and not so subtle attempts to undermine BLWing at their house.

FF to christmas. We were all together and MIL did dinner for the babies. DN would not eat any of what had been done and SIL ended up pureeing it as he started screaming when she tried to spoon feed him with it (it was finely cut up). Apparently he won't eat anything that isn't pureed to within an inch of it's life. DD enthusiastically tackled her roast dinner all by herself, roast potatoes and all. DD eats anything you put in front of her

SIL then comments that she now wishes she had gone the BLWing route as DN is very fussy with food. AIBU to feel a sense of "I told you so" smugness ?

OP posts:

BreastmilkDoesAFabEggnogLatte · 03/01/2011 17:55

From what I've observed of family and friends and their kids, I don't believe BLW really makes any difference in the long run to how willing kids are to try new foods. It's just so much easier, more relaxed, more fun...

LadyintheRadiator · 03/01/2011 17:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hohohohobnobsaremyfave · 03/01/2011 17:56

Lydwatt · 03/01/2011 18:02

lol! I had forgotten the baby competition thing!!

You just wait til both kids start schools...this could get way worse!

EvilTwinsAteRudolph · 03/01/2011 18:04

We stayed with friends for New Year. My DTDs are 4.6. They have two children aged 3.6 and 1.10. My friend and I both mourned the loss of the sweet eat-anything-you-put-in-front-of-them darlings we had last year and the year before (the youngest still does, but he's not 2 yet)

I remember the days of "oh, they'll eat anything..."

OP - you'll get your own "comeuppance" at some point, I expect, when your own PFB refuses to eat anything that isn't fish fingers or very specific home-made pasta sauce.

EvilTwinsAteRudolph · 03/01/2011 18:05

WHen I say "they", I don't mean my DTDs. That would be wierd. I meant my friends.

Articulate · 03/01/2011 18:06

Hmmm...YAB abit U, I understand why though. However I firmly believe that whether a child is a fussy eater or not is purely down to luck. My 2 boys were weaned in exactly the same way. One is now horribly fussy, the other isn't.

Laquitar · 03/01/2011 18:08

Maybe your sil was bored of listening about your 'parenting decisions' (BLW, slings etc).
Sorry to break the news to you but it is nothing new, nothing very clever and nothing that worth hours of debate or a gold medal.
My grandma used slings. She didn't write a book about it.

And what mutznutz said

MadamDeathstare · 03/01/2011 18:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

theevildead2 · 03/01/2011 18:12

Yanbu, if your inlaws hadn't been arsey about it all in the first place you would not be feeling smug.

I love being smug. The view is beautiful from my very high horse

thebrownstuff · 03/01/2011 18:14

why did you namechange OP?

I take it this is your pfb...yawn. I'm sure she'll go on to achieve greatness on account of the blw

MarianneM · 03/01/2011 18:14

Oh dear, poor OP! Why do people here have such an issue with feeling smug sometimes? Going by the OP's description, I think she is right to feel smug, I know I would! And SHE hasn't said anything to her SIL, has she?

All this saintliness, don't people ever have any questionable feelings (that they admit to)?

The OP didn't cause her DN to be fussy! Feel smug OP, YADNBU!

SoupDragon · 03/01/2011 18:16

'DD eats anything you put in front of her'

Well, bully for you. Clearly you are the superior parent.

Often the way we do things has nothing to do with how our children behave with stuff like this. AIBU to hope that, if you have more children, you get a fussy one next time whatever weaining method you use?

poogoestothailand · 03/01/2011 18:16

OP, here's the test - are you on any 'mothering' sites and if so, does your ticker read:

"Mother of a precious DD - cloth-bummed, co-sleeping, BLWed, breastfed and carried"

Because that is when you know for sure you haven't just skirted round the edges off Smugsville and taken up residence

poogoestothailand · 03/01/2011 18:17

but you've taken up residence!

NewYearNewPants · 03/01/2011 18:18

I find the whole 'pureeing versus BLW' thing soo artificial and ridiculous.

Just feed your babies and shut up about it!

ReindeerBollocks · 03/01/2011 18:19

I wouldn't be smug as with parenting, nothing lasts especially when they are little.

However, your SIL was being horrid and criticising your parenting skills, and now she realises that for whatever reason she has done this (probably insecurity) that she was wrong to do so. Not because your way worked and hers didn't but because all babies and parents are different.

I don't blame you for being initially a bit 'I told you so' but at least SIL was big enough to admit she was wrong. It sounds like she has sensibly learnt her lesson, and hopefully will be less critical in future, but you need to realise that your lesson may be that being smug might come back to bite you in the arse (especially when they both hit the independent toddler stage).

I hope you can both work past any resentment and become friends - parenting is hard enough without setting yourself against another parent as a challenge (in SIL case).

gorionine · 03/01/2011 18:19

but SIL might not have caused her Dc to be fussy either, that is why smugness is ridiculous in that situation! I have 4 Dcs, the first two eat of everything in relatively large quantities, one eats of everything but in small quantities and one could live on just eating fruits and chocolate. They were all weaned the same way (not at the same time though as Dcs 1 and 2 were weaned at 4 month which was the guidelines at the time while Dcs 3 and 4 were weaned at 6 month )

llareggub · 03/01/2011 18:20

The thing that bugs me about BLW is that everyone who does it bangs on about it at great length. It is boring to anyone but the parents of PFBs.

gorionine · 03/01/2011 18:21

My last post was to MarianneM, sorry I forgot to say in it.

thebrownstuff · 03/01/2011 18:21

I have no problem with the OP's smugness...it's just such a boring thing to be smug about. Who really cares about how children eat if you can generally get them to eat a balanced diet, great. If you can get them to eat (anything so that they are not malnorusihed), you're doing well too.

When I was 6 I basically lived on icecream for the best part of a year. Didn't do me any harm

Sassybeast · 03/01/2011 18:22

Awww diddums OP - nasty wasty MNers not agwee that you is a much better mummmeee than your nasty old SIL ? How many more YABU before you properly throw your toys out of your pram (assuming that your pram is considerably more expensive than your SILs Christmas day must have been a joy at your house.

And do share your reasons for name changing ? Am intrigued

hohohohobnobsaremyfave · 03/01/2011 18:22

thebrownstuff · 03/01/2011 18:22

xpost llareggub

pooka · 03/01/2011 18:25

Don't be smug. You never know what lies around the corner.

DD was puree/spoon fed and weaned at the then 4 months.

DS1 was BLW from 6 months.

Guess who is the fussy eater? Hangups about certain textures and flavours? Yup, that would be ds1.

His fussiness rather crept up on us. But peaked at the age of about 2.5 - 3. He's now 5 and gradually seems a bit more receptive. But the change from boy who loved red berries, all fruit, quite sharp and vinegary tastes to one who has a limited and (to my tastes) rather bland diet was staggering!

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