to have another dc in a 2 bed flat?

[mamasmissionimpossible]

DH and I have been considering having a 3rd DC. We have two dc's who share a bedroom. We currently have a two bedroom flat. Do you think it is unfair to put another dc in the only spare bedroom we have?

I think moving home will be some years off, but I know my fertility is not going to stick around forever and we don't want too large an age gap between the dc's. Our dc's are, ds (5) and dd (3).

We had for a while 16, 14,13 yr olds and baby in 2 bed flat. SMALL rooms. The HV first visit was a case of quickly hiding teenagers! Baby with us, 14, 16 yr old girls in small room and 13 yr old boy on sofa. Not ideal, but if you're a happy family it can work for a temporary measure.

I don't think it is unfair. My girls love being togetherat the moment and they are very close. But I wouldn't want it yo continue when DAd1 is older because she would appreciate her own space.

An old school friend shared a room with three sisters with no ill-effects.

How is it unfair to put young siblings in the same room?

Yes I had to put up with the questioning of it from my hv too(who is usally lovely btw). Eh its none of your business! Obviously will come a point when eldest ds will not want to share with his little sis but at the moment they enjoy it.
I have a friend who nearly made herself ill with worry because she was pregnant with dc3 and couldnt sell her house(thankfully has now)and didnt think 3 dcs could share a room! Personally think there are more important things in life to worry about!

YABU - As long as you are very very tidy and don't hoard lots of junk like me.

My neighbours have 4 DC (two teenagers and two little ones) in a two bedroom flat. They have a sofa bed in the living room which they sleep on and her home is always much tidier, and therefore seems much roomier, than mine.

Oops - that was meant to be YANBU

You are not supposed to allow a boy and girl to share once they get to a certain age.

Get a three bed house first with a garden for them to play in before considering bringing another child into the world and into a cramped home.

I grew up in 3 bed house with one sister - i moaned about getting the smallest room cos the window was too high to see out of (+ was tiny - like a cell). It was nice as a teen to have privacy + space to be an individual though.
But - i would have gladly given up my room for another sibling, so YANBU. i think equal parental love + attention for each child is more important than money / space.

There no laws set in stone for children of different sexes sharing a room.
Some local authorities may have their own rules where social housing is concerned, but they can't enforce it in law.

I have 5 dcs (4 at home). We have two ordinary size bedrooms and a small room.

DS1 is in the small room (well technically he isnt, he is on the sofa as we are fostering his gf at the moment), DS2 &3 are in the other room. DS4 is in with us.

DS4 will go in with his other brothers when he is about 18mths. They have one of those bunkbeds with a double bed. Its a nice one in white wood and takes up less room than their two singles did. The little ones will share the double (DS3 looks teeny it on his own).

There is a 10 year gap between DS1 & 2 so I am anticipating (please) that he will have moved out by the time we need more room.

I think it depends on the size of your other rooms. They dont need lots of room to sleep but they do need room to play. We dont feel that cramped even with five children (two teens inc) and two adults (one rather large - not me you understand), because we have a nice open plan downstairs.

Our house is only little but I make the most of storage and outside space.

Very long rambly answer - short answer why not?

the people opposite us have 2 teenage dcs in a 2 bed flat. the children have a room each and the parents sleep in the living room.
it can be done if you want it enough.

ds is still in our room at 2 1/2 dd is in a cot bed still (4)
you could have child sized beds/ cot beds for quite a while til your dcs are big enough for bunks. You will probably have to be ruthless with getting rid of stuff you don't need though.

right now how can I persuade dh that we can fit another in our 2 bed flat to make it 3?

Go for it! As you say your fertility won't wait, moving house will! You will make it work if you want to. There is nothing wrong with 3 children sharing a room. You are being sensible, it is better to move when you can afford it.

We have just moved and due to bigger mortgage won't be having a third baby. Am still having regrets about it really and hope that some miracle will happen which means we can afford a baby too!!!

The opposite sex sibling sharing rooms rule. Does this apply to privately owned properties? How can anyone enforce that?

If you are entitled to social housing, the number of bedrooms is determinted by a formula, but broadly children over the age of 10 of opposite sexes don't have to share.

Of course if you own a 2 bedroom flat then you aren't entitled to social housing so its irrelevant. Of course its not illegal.

Personally I think you need to think about your current children rather than your wants/needs for another child. I'm clearly in the minority in that opinion though so what do I know?

I never understand when people think that children NEED their own room, its a luxury but not a necessity IMO. If you are otherwise comfortable enough in terms of food/heating/rent/mortgage/leisure etc then I think you can meet the needs of another personally. I live in a flat and am when people say they NEED to move to a house with a garage and separate bedrooms for each child and separate play room etc! I always think, no, you don't NEED that, you just WANT it!

Even in social housing all it does is give you points. So you can be 'entitled' to a bigger property but you can be 'entitled' for 10 years and not get one.

Exactly. The social housing stock has become so depleted that the councils/Housing Associations have no choice but to move the goalposts when allocating housing.

Me too oneortwo. I don't get why every family member must have seperate bedroom, en-suite, own tv and own pc.

Don't forget not all families are like the waltons though. My sister and i fought like cat and dog by age 12 even with our own rooms! My dad's sisters had to share a bed which was awful as they didn't like each other. My cousins' room was like a warzone. And i have known lots of unhappy half and step-siblings who resented sharing.
So i think sharing should be approached with caution - parents often don't see underlying tensions between DCs.

Not separate rooms necessarily but enough space to live, play, have some time alone if needed. We moved before I got pregnant as the property we were in was not suitable - we did that thinking about the needs of our unborn child as I really did want a baby a few years prior to actually being able to make the move. It's all up to how you feel though I suppose and what you're comfortable with.

We have a large house and our sons have decided they want to share.
We have these they are fantastically well made and easy to assemble.
The bottom one is inches off the floor and would therefor bypass the toddler bed thing.

Aye, we had a pre-war council house with an outside brick shed.
I whitewashed the walls, stuck a piece of carpet in it, a couple of old armchairs, and when there was an argument, there was an exit to the 'quiet room' as we called it when things got a bit fraught.

If there is enough space elsewhere for all 3 to play so bedroom is just for sleep (DD is an only and has no toys in her bedroom so not an issue for my way of thinking) YANBU.

I don't think DP would let more than two DC share though (he's even a bit hmm about that! I think he has unrealistic ideas of housing costs)