To think it is wrong for a surrogate to have a child for two men?

[Extremelychocolatey]

The men in question are Elton John and David Furnish.

link

It feels wrong on so many levels.

I know an egg donor who has donated a couple of times, and you know what? She doesn't care what gender or sexuality the recieving couple are! And I agree with her!

I am going through AID right now, and i will be a single mum to my fourth child! And i know i am a good mum and my child will have plenty 'male role models' and father figures.. atually two great father figures in the form of two gay adoptive dads i meet up with! There is a reason their child was placed without a mother.. child was abused so badly by bio mother that child can't trust women at all, and deliberatly can try to hurt women for no reason. There is a reason also why my daughters were placed with a single gay woman ie. no chance of an actual father in the picture. No way could my daughters have related appropriately to men, no way could they hav treated a father as a father. There is a reason DD1's first placement with a married hetero couple failed! There are very good reasons for not putting a child with a man/woman couple

And there is no reason i can see that EJ and DF should not be dads to their son, who will in all likelihood be just fine. All the best of luck to them

Lilka, very interesting post. I had never considered such scenarios. What's the longer term plan btw? Are you/your friends getting support with the women/men issues?

Well PotPourri, i'm not going to post any more about my friends here, but my DD1 came home in 1996, she was 10, and she got therapy. The first man she related to properly was at 16/17, and he is now her husband Likewise DD2 (14) gets therapy and she is doing really well, but doesn't fully understand how you should act around boys/men. She gets appropriate language mostly now, but she has developed a crush on a boy (aargh) and already talks of going very far with him and putting on the internet Still, she's made huge progress, v. proud of her

Thanks for sharing Lilka. So glad it's worked out well. Well done you! You're doing a great job

a lot of people also think gay marriage shouldn't be allowed, doesn't mean they are right.

Seriously, the countless poor, hungry, abused, dying of starvation children around the world and you can find room to get worked up over a child who will have a life of privilige and a good home with people who wanted him so much they went to such lengths? Really?

DM disclaimer but apparently there will not only be nannies round the clock, but a separate apartment so the baby won't interrupt EJ's beauty sleep.... Yes, they wanted him so much they bought him a separate flat.

So they extended their 2 bedroom apartment by buying next door to make room for the baby and live in nanny.

Shock horror. Clearly anyone who extends their home or uses a nanny is also fair game for the bigots?

I feel a bit sceptical really, I mean, who goes to a party leaving an 8 day old at home 'sleeping'? Surely not the parents of the 8 day old? This really doesn't sit well with me - they are either parents or they are not, and a lot of parenting is graft, not glamour and cooing.

It's funny isn't it, I think it was Danielle Lloyud and thingy who were criticised in the daily wail about going out to a restaurant AT NIGHT taking baby whathisname with them...... they can't win! And, if I had had a life before I had dd I would have gone out LOL - as it was, I didn't....

www.tribune.ie/news/editorial-opinion/article/2011/jan/02/diarmuid-doyle-saturdays-not-alright-for-fighting-/

Not sure if this link works, but if you copy and paste it I think the article is spot on.

I would put money on EJ still be raving quite a bit at age 80

Anyway, there's every chance the child will have a great life and be perfectly happy... as long as he doesn't have to listen to too many people telling him he must be poorly adjusted/deprived/unhappy/screwed up......

They like to think they're being left alone. Big difference.

Eh, so was mine.

thought this letter in the Guardian made a good point:

"As someone who donated an egg to a friend who went on to give birth to her son I am deeply offended by the suggestion that this act of giving an egg "sounds like a definition of prostitution". This is a callous portrayal of egg donation. I also note that when gay men or lesbians have children our motives are often assumed to be selfish. Why is this?"