To think it is wrong for a surrogate to have a child for two men?

[Extremelychocolatey]

The men in question are Elton John and David Furnish.

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It feels wrong on so many levels.

Hear hear Buzz.

My DH would be insulted if I believed I was more important as a parent than he is.

We both wanted children. We both created them. We both love our children. We both raise them.

It almost seems as though some women find it a tad threatening to think the other parent matters just as much.

I think it is very sad to see a baby being conceived in order to be handed over to someone else and away from it's mother. I also would find it sad if a woman deliberately had a baby with a man she had no intention of allowing to have an ongoing relationship with his baby.

Well said meantosay. In both cases it's the baby that's being deprived of something, not the adult.

swanandduck What an insult to the many babies born in surrogacy arrangements,and raised with love and care, who arent deprived at all. And insulting to their parents too.

Abr1de I'm not convinced about the baby missing the scent as amniotic fluids (in which the baby has been living) have a very distinct smell, and most mothers don't have that smell....

In terms of the voice, well if really is that important the voice of the "adoptive" parents could be played to him in the womb. - although its true babies can recognise the voices but I doubt they'd miss it.

IME what would be more of a problem (certainly in this case) would be if the baby was cared for by lots of nannies rather by the parents, especially early on.

I have 2 friends (both married couples) who have children as a result of surrogacy. In both cases it was both of their biological child, one couldn't have children as no womb, the other didn't get pregnant despite years of trying/IVF etc.

Are you really saying that these babies miss their carrier mother to with they have no gentic connection?

Yes a lot of people in the US where it is more common would use a very clever geneticlaly all checked out woman's eggs - Harvard college student etc and then use a much poorer host mother who has the time to bear the child if you can stop her smoking and drinking in pregnancy. It is interesting to know what influences a child - not just environment at home from birth with the father and his partner or adoptive parent etc but also the genes of the egg donor (and soon I think just the father or fathers or mothers as technology is moving on, if tha'ts desired) and then womb influences too - indeed one theory is that men are gay because not of genes but because of exposure to things in the womb or birth position).

All fascating stuff but thank goodness this is legal and that the ageist, sexist and homophobic posters can bleat all they like but men remain able to do this. Mother as God needs to be knocked on its head. Men make great parents.

callmers

They are being deprived of their mum or dad. Swanandduck is right. Why is anyone who objects to surrogacy fair play for comments like homophobe, backward, sexist etc but it's terribly unfair to make any criticism of surrogacy because that is soooo insulting to surrogate parents.

and xenia

I don't think anyone said a child doesn't need their dad and their mum.

but you are WRONG meantosay, ad that is why your comments are ignored

and try reading the thnrean... i and others said a child does not need a trad family of and and mum.

meantosay - tell me a little bit about yourself - I don't know anything about you!

Why?? Are new posters only meant to stay on the nice innocuous threads??

Buzz

So anyone who disagrees with you is wrong??

Yes Buzz

Ane others have said they do benefit from a traditional family.

YOu asking me why? Just wondered if you had kids, an other half, fertility issues - anything that might give you any form of insight into someone elses life.

Sorry can't do links but has anyone seen the article in today's Daily Mail, about EJ's baby having his own apartment with two round the clock nannies?

well ofcourse I think that if you disagree with me you are wrong. It wouldn't be much of an opinion or belief if I didn't think so. would it?
You think I'm wrong, I think you're wrong. Thats sort of the point. However in this instance, you probably in the minority, whereas I am on the right-thinking side.

ps, I wouldn't start thinking that everything you read in the daily hate is actually the truth, its a slippery slope.....

I read it Toriana, it's full of apparantleys and supposedlys. No one actually really knows, and if they have a 2 bed apartment now, then they needed more room anyway.

How would people be reacting if it was Rod Stewart and whatsherface - Penny? who had had a surrogate? It's just fluff to fill the papers now.

SJP had a surrogate, I don't remember such heartfelt bleating about that. But then, she is heterosexual.....

The baby is deprived of a mother to satisfy the needs of two older men. One being 75 when the child is 12 the other being 60.

The child never knows it's biological mother, nor it's surrogate mother.

The majority in this country would disagree with arrangement, and rightly so.

Violethill. What's your problem? Both of your children have a mother, you!

if you are young enough you can always donate your eggs, so that two old men can have your future children, I'm sure you would want that?