To think it is wrong for a surrogate to have a child for two men?

[Extremelychocolatey]

The men in question are Elton John and David Furnish.

link

It feels wrong on so many levels.

oops whether

yabu. There is nothing wrong with a gay couple becoming parents.

As to whether ej and df will be good parents, I really don't know as i've never met them. Presumably the surrogate is satisfied that they will.

They are older than most new parents, admittedly, but I imagine they could afford a nanny to do the more physically demanding stuff if they find it tough!

Spler the article does say that they were turned down for adoption on the basis of age.

I know that is is the case in the UK Altinkum, but is it true of the US? (p.s. I'm pro surrogacy)

Thinking about it, I don't even object on the basis on age. A 48 year old woman would be pushing it in the natural world but it's not old enough to make me feel uncomfortable but perhaps is borderline.

WTF? The relationship between those two men has lasted far longer than this straight mother's marriage did, they are far more financially stable than me, they are younger than and appear to be in far better health than my father was when my half brother was born and seem to be far more happy together than my father and stepmother too, come to that.

It looks like this child will have a charmed life.

So where's the problem?

Oh, I see, it's because these two adoptive parents are both male.

According to a gay friend of mine who wants to have a child through surrogacy, in the UK you can be given up to £10,000 in "expenses" which is obviously a lot more than what is required to go through pregnancy. I think (but am not sure) that in the US there is no limit on what you can be paid, and some women do it repeatedly as a way of making large sums of money.

The rules in the US are incredibly lax. People frequently buy babies, both within the US and from abroad.

I am not ant-surrogacy or gay parents adopting or whatever at all, btw.

My opinion is based in an 'ideal' world, which we don't live in, however, no matter what you say, a child's parents are the absolute constants in their lives and outside figures may contribute towards balance but in no way have the same bearing on a child's upbringing as the 'parents'.

I don't know any of the details. Whether one of them is the biological father for example. It is not the fact that they are gay that makes me feel uncomfortable. They will probably make great parents.

They are god parents to many other cleb kids iirc, so obviously those parents hold them in high esteem.

They were considered to be too old to adopt a child. I think that my deep down concern is that they are putting their desire for a child ahead of that child's needs. So I think it is all a bit selfish.

WoD, I'd want far, far more than £10K for going through pregnancy ever again. That sum could reasonably be considered to be for loss of earnings, restrictions upon a woman's lifestyle caused by pregnancy, discomfort and so on too, surely? That being the case they'd go nowhere near being adequate compensation.

"Child's needs"?

If they didn't have that baby, it wouldn't even exist.

Would you not say it is better that he is born to loving parents, albeit slightly older than ideal, than not be born at all?

I'm not sure how to say this without coming across as homophobic. I think its great that EJ and DF have little Zachary and they obviously have no financial constraints at all so will be able to provide everything he needs but I believe that babies and children need a female mother figure. I may be wrong but thats just my personal opinion. In this case its not such an issue as I'm sure they will have a nanny.

Without giving your reasons for thinking it is wrong then nobody can judge if you are being unreasonable or not abui.Silly to come on and just make a sweeping statement.I agree with others that if it is the sexuality of Elton and his partner that gives you reservations then you are being unreasonable and homophobic.As for the issue of creating a new life rather than adopting I did read that they tried to adopt a few years ago but hit a few brick walls so maybe they took this opyion to save any more heartache.As for giving children a balanced view then my DD will not have one either as I am a single parent lorelilee

the only reticence i would have is their age. it's old to have a baby. i would feel the same if it was a regular couple or a lesbian couple. but with their wealth , they can have nannies and all sorts of help, so even if their health declines, the baby will be will cared for, and won;t be short of love

wirthouth any further comment from the OP , can only presume it is homophobia that has started this

i think they have many female friends who would be only to glad to be a female role model for the baby.

why do children need a female mother figure, nevereatyellowsnow?

I don't know why I think that magicmummy, I just do! As Lulumaam said though, they have loads of female friends so he will have loads of mother figures.