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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to really HATE my daughters Christmas presents and think they are really shit?

218 replies

TotorosOcarnina · 26/12/2010 21:34

Shes 2.

She got from family members (who must have conspired together ...)

A play kitchen
A play iron
a play kettle
a play micrwave
a play hetty hoover
play food to cook.

Ermmm just because shes female she gets cleaning and domestic appliances for xmas??

My boys didn't get anything like this... ever!! So why because shes a girl has she got all this crap??

Why would she want to pretend to iron?! or pretend t warm up a tin of beans?!

Am baffled!

OP posts:
SummerRain · 27/12/2010 14:54

My ds2 got a play cleaning set... because he keeps stealing the brushes from the kitchen to play with Grin

And dd got a wooden baking set that all three of them have been playing with constantly since it was opened. She also got beads which both her and ds1 have been at all morning.

Whilst i think all the toys you mention are good toys and would go down well in our house i do agree it's awful that she got given all that when your boys weren't given those sorts of toys... sounds like there's a real issue with gender stereotyping in your family.

And a play iron is just fucking shit IMO Wink

AnnOnimous · 27/12/2010 15:23

My son got a toy cooker from us when he was three. And the play food etc. He loved them. He is now 17 and a great cook.

One of my dad's friends - on Christmas Day in Church - asked what the three year old had got and said ''is your son gay?''.

Now that is shocking conditioning.

trinitybleu · 27/12/2010 15:27

gorionine - true, and how do you know what they'll like until you offer then the chance to play / explore with them? To the OP - I didn't know she liked dressing up shoes til she played with them elsewhere, and ditto the kitchen stuff til Nursery mentioned it. She also used the kettle as a tea pot for at least 6 months, til she got the idea of boiling the kettle, pouring that into the tea pot etc. I never use a teapot, so she had to learn that herself.

Pancakeflipper - :o

electra · 27/12/2010 15:32

Crikey all these threads about people moaning about Christmas presents smacks of spoiled attitude imo......it's the thought that counts.

Besides boy and girl toddlers love play kitchen stuff - it's not gender specific.

harecare · 27/12/2010 15:36

Only poor choices as presumably you'll already have these things as you already have other children.
Toy kitchen and accessories are basics for all children as it means they can "help" you when you or dp has to do cooking etc. If your daughter can occupy herself drawing and doing play dough while the domestic chores are done then that's great, but many children like to get in the way help when essential household maintenance is being undertaken.

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 27/12/2010 16:21

"Why is it that people only seem to get upset over girls being railroaded by "sexist/stereotypical toys" and not boys?"

Yep, feminism is one of those things that's not just for girls...

Emjxxx · 27/12/2010 16:37

PLAY cleaning equipment! My DS2, who is 22 months, has a REAL broom, a REAL dustpan and brush and he loves pushing the hoover round. Why on earth would I pay for play things when he can use the real thing and actually help me doing the chores, won't be long and he'll be able to do them all by himself and I can put my feet up!!! Grin

Play cooking and cleaning stuff is something that most toddlers like, boys and girls. I don't think that anything would have be meant by your family, I'm sure they just thought she would like playing with them. However if your DD doesn't then sell them on Ebay and buy her something else. You should possible tell your family though so they don't go getting her more stuff to go with it with her birthday!

rupert1 · 27/12/2010 17:25

They sound like great presents any 2 year old boy or girl would love,I sugest you sell the lot on E bay and buy her something quite horrible may be a dvd of Waybuloos or a day out tree hugging that way the presents wont be so traditional

Triggles · 27/12/2010 17:47

"Yep, feminism is one of those things that's not just for girls..."

Sarcasm aside, I think it's a double standard. She seems to have no complaint about her sons having toys that are "for boys," but does about her daughter having toys that are "for girls." Where is her furious post that all her son got were cars and trucks and such when they were younger and not a doll/pram or kitchen set in the lot??

Personally I think she's getting wound up over nothing. It's right up there with the militant breastfeeders getting upset over a baby doll coming with a bottle accessory. Ho hum...

LaWeaselMys · 27/12/2010 17:51

DD's Xmas pressies similar. Theoretically I don't mind, but it would be nice if
a) it wasn't all pink
b) there has been some 'boy' pretend things too. Eg, tools.

oneortwo · 27/12/2010 17:55

my toddler (DS) got some of those things from family members and they're a huge hit! why would it be anti-feminist for him to have got them if he happened to be a girl?

A lot of toddlers (boys and girls) love toy domestic products so they can copy and help you, copying adult activities and acting them out is spot on developmentally for a toddler. Was a pretty safe bet as they're USUALLY a hit.

TheHoneydragonsInTheIvy · 27/12/2010 18:01

It's right up there with the militant breastfeeders getting upset over a baby doll coming with a bottle accessory. Ho hum...

......unless the bottle is of Gin Grin

wombella · 27/12/2010 18:07

take them back to the shop and buy a big bus and racing car or train set. my daughter loved the train set especially when all the family joined in to make it and play with the trains. :)

SantaIsMyLoveSlave · 27/12/2010 18:28

"Where is her furious post that all her son got were cars and trucks and such when they were younger and not a doll/pram or kitchen set in the lot??"

Part of the point of the complaint, though, is that neither of her sons (particularly her DS2 who would have liked them) were bought any of these presents that allegedly "any 2 year old boy or girl would love", which does suggest that they've been bought for her DD specifically because she is a girl.

SparklyMartini · 27/12/2010 19:25

Yes, surely the thing that is wrong here is not the toys as such, but the rather depressing fact that nobody bought any toys of that type until a girl arrived and then they got her nothing else. And not because she likes that sort of thing, as she doesn't.

Sorry but all the 'my son loves his kitchen' posts are nice for what they are, but not really directly to the point in the sense of proving the OP is unreasonable.

And as for my crack about competitive pretending ages down thread: that was all it was, a passing crack, so calm the hell down apologies to anyone who took umbrage. I meant that some people did seem to be taking a slightly disingenuous approach to this discussion, IMVHO. Alternative wording popped into head because 'competitive' this and that-ing is a familiar mn trope. Or so I thought. (not sure if trope means what I think it means)

lochnessmumster · 27/12/2010 19:35

YABU.
It sounds to me like you took one look and decided, with some feminist ideal in mind, that there was somethig inherently wrong, insulting even, about giving little girls those toys.
The truth is, most kids (boys too) love playing at cooking etc. Maybe you should lighten up and give them a chance.
It's up to you to provide a balance so stop being so ungrateful and go fry up some plastic eggs for the teddy bears picnic.

CommanderDrool · 27/12/2010 19:54

You know what?

I think that as you already have two boys, you probably have loads of 'boy' toys and you can bet your DD will play with all them all, climb trees, play footie etc as long as you give her the confidence and opportunity.

Some housekeeping toys are not going to turn her into a stepford wife.

But I can see why you are a bit Hmm

Curiousmama · 27/12/2010 19:57

I bought stuff like this for my dss. Ds1 wanted a buggy so I got him one of those too, much to the disgust of the elders Xmas Wink They had cars, trains and things too. I always loved action man and cars more than girly toys and dolls when I was small.

swanandduck · 27/12/2010 19:58

Any chance you would all be grateful your dc had people around them who cared enough to buy them presents?? Instead of analysing every item and worrying your dd will turn into an ironing slave??

FortunateHamster · 27/12/2010 20:20

The toys themselves are not unreasonable, but given that your sons didn't get given them, and that your daughter was given nothing else, I think YANBU.

dementedma · 27/12/2010 21:31

hmmmm, DD1 wanted a train set when she was about 3 and DS at the same age wanted play food and a kitchen which he adored. DD is now 20 and very feminine, Ds in nearly 9 and a damn fine cook. What's the problem?

MilaMae · 27/12/2010 21:35

My twin boys had pretty much that exact list(bar the microwave) when they were 2 and loved it.

Boys and girls both need to learn how to cook and role play is very valuable at that age.I'd have been thrilled if my dd had had that lot especially as you say you don't have any kitchen role play equipment.

lagrandissima · 27/12/2010 21:40

YANBU. They're a bit unimaginative at best, and downright sexist at worst.

sungirltan · 27/12/2010 21:44

yanbu. you are really not. i know exactly where you are coming from.

i saw a pink toy washing machine lately and it made me seethe with rage.

actually the kitchen food i dont mind so much but toy cleaning equipment really offends me and i wont allow it for me dd (15 months)

MilaMae · 27/12/2010 21:44

Why are they sexist-boys love those toys too?

All pre-schools have those toys for all children to play with them. Do girls not cook then? Personally I want my dd to know the value of cooking a decent meal in the same way I want my boys to. She sees both daddy and mummy cooking and used to love to copy-role play is a valuable play activity.

Seriously worrying if girls should now be banned from kichen role play-barking mad Shock.