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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to really HATE my daughters Christmas presents and think they are really shit?

218 replies

TotorosOcarnina · 26/12/2010 21:34

Shes 2.

She got from family members (who must have conspired together ...)

A play kitchen
A play iron
a play kettle
a play micrwave
a play hetty hoover
play food to cook.

Ermmm just because shes female she gets cleaning and domestic appliances for xmas??

My boys didn't get anything like this... ever!! So why because shes a girl has she got all this crap??

Why would she want to pretend to iron?! or pretend t warm up a tin of beans?!

Am baffled!

OP posts:
FuturePM · 26/12/2010 21:43

YABU. There are some kiddies in this world who have nothing. One year me and my 2 sisters argued over who was getting a bike. We then watched in dismay as my mother brought out 3 bikes, and all the other things, and donated them to the Salvation Army. That was a lesson learnt. I teach my son to be thankful and appreciative.

Original poster
TotorosOcarnina · 26/12/2010 21:44

She hasn't shown any interest in them.

The baby has been abandoned, the hoover was looked at then left.

The food got thrown across the room

and we haven't bothered to open the kitchen as she wasn't even sure what the iron was (ahem Blush ) and the kettle she used as a teapot tyope thing for 2 mins then she went back to her playdoh.

OP posts:
Sariah · 26/12/2010 21:44

My mother got my dd2 a washing machine, iron, toaster and kettle and got ds a Thomas the tank engine set. They will both play with both sets of toys. I would never get annoyed by a present someone else chose for my child. They usually end up modifying their toys to their own interests anyway as in if they like drawing then they will decorate the washing machine or using it as a football.

DullWomenHaveImmaculateHomes · 26/12/2010 21:46

I think you're being a bit ungrateful tbh. She might just end up loving them (and isn't it what she thinks that's important here?)

OnthefirsdayofMrsDeVere · 26/12/2010 21:46

I bought DS3 the hetty and matching cleaning trolley.
DD used to get all that stuff too but not just because she was a girl. She just happened to be my first and I loved all that pretend play stuff.

I can see your point though.

StarExpat · 26/12/2010 21:47

My 2 year old DS LOVES his train set and dinosaurs and cars...etc, but he also adores his kitchen and the tea set he got, the hoover, iron, toy buggy... etc. It's a good balance and I like that he enjoys a variety :) Maybe they saw that she has lots of stuff to build with and trains...etc, and nothing like the stuff they did get her (cleaning/cooking/baby stuff)?

It's always nice to get something different from the things you already have?

Original poster
TotorosOcarnina · 26/12/2010 21:47

I am grateful for the effort behind them, the money spent and the time taken to get them, of course I am.

But I just feel they are toys that push her into a 'role' that I don't agree with! Especially as these toys were never given to my sons!

Perhaps my title wording is a bit strong!!

OP posts:
jester68 · 26/12/2010 21:48

Well to be honest I don't see why a girl (or buy) can't have a mixture of both.

My elder daughter is nearly 5.

She has the play kitchen and all the accessories ,dolls and pushchair etc. But also has a scalextric, garage and cars etc.

She also has lots of drawing/art stuff and also playdough etc.

So she has the ebst of both worlds. Her birthday is in march and she has asked for a toy hoover, some arty stuff and a scooter. And she would also like some lego.

To be honest if your dd does not like the stuff then sell it and buy something she would like.

Why cant she have the opportunity to play with both kinds of things, let her decide? She may end up liking it

fuzzypicklehead · 26/12/2010 21:50

I can see your point, that they are all toys associated with traditional gender roles. But they are toys that I would encourage for both boys and girls, on the basis that they will need to understand that simple domestic tasks are a part of daily life. So having them isn't really an issue.

However, I would say that it becomes a problem if she isn't also encouraged to play with trucks, blocks, trains, tools and other "boy" toys as well. The key is in making all types of play available and she will gravitate towards whichever suits her best.

StarExpat · 26/12/2010 21:50

Oh and I see that you see it as gender stereotyping, but honestly it's age appropriate role play stuff, regardless of the gender. I think it's a bit ungrateful. Sorry.

My DS is also more interested in toys that I make a big deal about or seem enthusiastic about/engage with...

Laquitar · 26/12/2010 21:51

i a agree with Morticiathat most dcs like *pretend play', boys and girls, but sadly we don't give boys a chance.

A child copies the parents and at 2 it is more likely to see you doing the domestic chores. If for example both parents are lawyers the 2 year old doesnt see them in court but sees them heating and serving the b.beans.

But your dds pesents are all too similar.

ravenAK · 26/12/2010 21:51

I'd be decidedly pissed off - yanbu.

My 2 year old dd loves 'copying' me sweeping the kitchen floor - so I give her the dustpan & brush. She does a much better job than me!

No-one needs a toy hoover! Seriously crap presents.

That said, probably not intentional? - just give it a couple of months to see if she changes her mind about playing with them, & to give the charity shops a chance to clear their backlogs - then donate them & snap up a load of better stuff.

TurkeyMartini · 26/12/2010 21:52

I think people saying you are ungrateful are missing the point.

I'd be Xmas Hmm too.

Don't worry about it too much though, she's got you on side and you'll be able to make sure she has access to toys that are not housework-related.

Pancakeflipper · 26/12/2010 21:52

I think it's a little strong. They made a lovely effort and no doubt had much joy in their 'well thought out' gifts.

My YS is 2. He loves dinosaurs are cars. But he also loves the pretend food and till we have for his older brother so we got him a dinner set for Christmas. Don't take it as a gender thing - kids either like playing 'house' or they don't. No need to pull the gender card.

StarExpat · 26/12/2010 21:52

xpost totoros. Glad to see that you are grateful for them :)

The toys won't push her into any sort of role because they are not the only toys that she has. She has a variety and this adds to the variety. Maybe see it is a good thing?

SantaIsMyLoveSlave · 26/12/2010 21:53

They aren't intrinsically shit presents; DS had a play kitchen and play food. But they have been selected without any consideration for your daughter as an individual, and that does make them a bit shit.

DD is also 2 and among her family presents this year have been a wooden sword and shield, a space rocket and a Dalek -- all chosen by people who were thinking about her and what she'd actually like. She does like baby dolls too, though, but has dolls already.

llareggub · 26/12/2010 21:54

My boys have a toy kitchen and my 20 month old had a play mop, hoover and dustpan for Christmas. He is THRILLED with them and adores pottering in his kitchen. Children of that age love these sorts of toys.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 26/12/2010 21:54

my ds (5) got all of that and he loves it. his dad isn't happy. i don't care. it is what he asked for.

TheHoneydragonsInTheIvy · 26/12/2010 21:55

dd is 1 she had a play kitchen yesterday - it is blue she has contently loaded and unloaded the dishwasher about 1 million times so far as she loves the real one with a worrying passion. What can I say? One parents shit is another's saviour.

I see your point, but did you object to your sons receiving toy tools, cars etc? If she likes them ... great, if she doesn't use them, sell them and buy what she does like.

I'd be narked if people who knew what my daughter liked bought something she wasn't into, but this sounds like people have put effort into trying to buy somethings you might not have in the house, without thinking that they will be forcing your dd into a life of domestic servitude, although something tells me, pink hoover or not your influence may prevent this happening regardless Grin

CommanderDrool · 26/12/2010 21:56

She will use them and enjoy role playing with them when she is older and there is nothing wrong with that as long as she has plenty of other things to role play with too.

Wait a year and then prepare yourself for the avalanche of dress up clothes, clippy cloppy shoes and 'jewels.'

Shudder

Original poster
TotorosOcarnina · 26/12/2010 21:56

I rREALLY don't want to come across as ungrateful

i was just a bit shocked i think as out of 6 years of getting presents i'd never sgotten a hoover but then my gorgeous DD gets all this cleaning stuff. i just thought 'omg shes better than that!!' Grin

I'm probably looking ointo it too much and she may love them, but i suppose because I detest the daily battle I have with cleaning and cooking then I felt she shouldn't ebven thave to THINK about that until she has to Grin if ever!!!

OP posts:
Imarriedafrog · 26/12/2010 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

edam · 26/12/2010 21:57

that is a bit shit. Fine, children like playing with toy kitchens, but blimey, it's a bit pointed especially as they didn't buy anything like this for your sons.

fuzzypicklehead · 26/12/2010 21:58

ravenAK--I needed a toy hoover, damnit! My DD1 used to be terrified of the hoover, to the point that she would scream and pass out if I tried to use it while she was in the house.

Cue toy hoover with balls inside to get her used to the idea. Now she loves it. Unfortunately this means that I've had to ebay the toy hoover and invest in a dustbuster for her--otherwise she steals my vacuum as I'm trying to use it!

onlyjuststillme · 26/12/2010 21:59

sorry yabu! My daughter got some of that stuff. She also got a tool box and some toy cars. I dont see any of that stuff as female stuff its just pretend! That and my nephew spent all day yesterday playing with it, he thought it was great.