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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to really HATE my daughters Christmas presents and think they are really shit?

218 replies

TotorosOcarnina · 26/12/2010 21:34

Shes 2.

She got from family members (who must have conspired together ...)

A play kitchen
A play iron
a play kettle
a play micrwave
a play hetty hoover
play food to cook.

Ermmm just because shes female she gets cleaning and domestic appliances for xmas??

My boys didn't get anything like this... ever!! So why because shes a girl has she got all this crap??

Why would she want to pretend to iron?! or pretend t warm up a tin of beans?!

Am baffled!

OP posts:
Original poster
TotorosOcarnina · 26/12/2010 22:28

yes but no body bought her a tool set, surely learning to change a plug is a life skill too?
or is that only one for boys? (According to my family it seems to be!)

and why didn't my SONS get the same lessons in life skills when THEY were 2?

OP posts:
SantaIsMyLoveSlave · 26/12/2010 22:28

But, alternatively, why would a child (as in children of both sexes) who has never shown any interest in pretending to cook or iron want to have all of her family Christmas presents geared to pretending to cook, iron or clean?

And why would that family decide that child 1 and child 2 (both male) won't want to pretend to cook or iron (in spite of the fact that child 2 probably would, actually) and then decide that child 3 (female), on the other hand, will apparently want to do nothing else?

Get it?

RockinRobinBird · 26/12/2010 22:29

Oh well, if she didn't love them within the first 30 seconds then they are obviously a wash out. Wink

Come on, you're being a bit silly. Being a girl doesn't mean you have to have these things, but it also doesn't mean that you can't have them.

AitchTwoOh · 26/12/2010 22:29

i don't think the OP is disapproving of housey presents per se, just that THESE SAME PEOPLE didn't get them for her sons, but now that she has produced a daughter they are all getting together to provide her with a complete scene of domestic drudgery. Grin

Original poster
TotorosOcarnina · 26/12/2010 22:30

I < heart > santaismyloveslave.

she gets it.

OP posts:
Original poster
TotorosOcarnina · 26/12/2010 22:31

and aitch

OP posts:
Imarriedafrog · 26/12/2010 22:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TotorosOcarnina · 26/12/2010 22:33

hahaha froggy Grin

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 26/12/2010 22:33

i totally get it, totos. i'm surprised that so many people are missing your point, tbh. perhaps it was the HATE in the subject kind of steered people the wrong way?

BoffinMum · 26/12/2010 22:34

My DSs all played with this stuff. DS2 got for his 2nd birthday:

A replica Miele hoover just like mine
An outfit for the family baby doll (although we did manage to find a blue sailor suit for it)
Doll nappies
Doll baby bottle

He loved all of it and his little brother is still playing with it all.

They also liked playing with their older sister's extensive Barbie collection.

Original poster
TotorosOcarnina · 26/12/2010 22:35

yea, possibly.
i am very hormonal at the moment, i can hate very easily ask poor DH

OP posts:
swanandduck · 26/12/2010 22:38

My dn was delighted with the toy kitchen that santa brought him. They're just toys and kids like copying what they see going on around the house.

swanandduck · 26/12/2010 22:39

ps I get your point, but I wouldn't get upset about it. Did you get upset when they all bought your ds's trucks and lego and fire engines?

MissAnneElk · 26/12/2010 22:41

well it hasn't turned my DDs into domestic drudges. Which, from a purely selfish point of view, could be said to be a bit disappointing. Did your DSs get typical boy gifts and did you hate those too?

mamatomany · 26/12/2010 22:44

Girls learn by example and I rarely clean so they aren't likely to be pigeon holed into that role, that's what I tell myself anyway Grin

CardyMow · 26/12/2010 22:50

My DD was never interested in stuff like that, nor was DS1. However, for his 3rd birthday, DS2 got a toy kitchen and absolutely loved it. It's only just gone in the loft now as he's too tall for it (he's 7yo now), and he would rather make a mess use the real kitchen. DP is a trained chef, so I would imagine that's where DS2 gets it from!

I don't think it's a sexist toy for a girl if she will enjoy it. Don't discount it just because she's a girl, if your DS's never got anything like this, is it just because they wouldn't have been interested? (Like DS1 wouldn't have been). And is it something that your DD will like and play with?

My DD much preferred toy cars to dolls or play food, and DS2 much preferred dolls and play food to cars. DS1 on the other hand liked robots. Each dc is different.

scoobytoo · 26/12/2010 22:58

It's up to you to take them back. get a refund and exchange for tool box, car wash kit, and TV remote control.

noblegiraffe · 26/12/2010 23:03

If my DS wanted a play kitchen, he'd be copying his Dad who does all the cooking. If you're worried about your DD being forced into gender roles by these gifts, is the real problem that she sees you doing all those tasks at home?

Katey1010 · 26/12/2010 23:03

I have some sympathy for you. This Christmas I received piles and piles of clothes for new DD. 90% were pink. I loathe pink and NEVER wear pink myself. DH doesn't wear pink either Xmas Grin. I love the friends and relations who gave the clothes and will say thank you sincerely because I know they did it with love but... Why, just because she is a girl does she have to wear pink? There are thousands of animal prints, cute Japanese style, primary colour clothes and only a very few people picked those. The irony is that I can't work out if she is more likely to love pink if I throw these clothes away or if I force her to wear every one, every day.

As for the toys of domestic servitude, I am with you on the point that if they bought them for DS 1 and 2 then DD, that is one thing. Since they only bought them for DD Hmm

breatheslowly · 26/12/2010 23:04

I hope that DD is given some of these things so that she can pretend to cook just like her daddy (or iron and hoover just like our cleaner). She probably wouldn't associate these activities with me - she'd need a toy sofa and laptop to pretend to MN to copy me. Your DD will only see these as stereotyped activities if she only sees people of a particular gender using the real things. I am a bit surprised that your DSs don't have any of these toys, though I have never heard of a toy iron before.

BuntyPenfold · 26/12/2010 23:06

My grandson got a shopping trolley with play food, a doll-size stroller because he and 4 boys at nursery all fight for the toy stroller, and a driving/steering wheel thing.

Earthakitten · 26/12/2010 23:09

Bunty, our toddler group is just the same, boys fighting over buggies!

AitchTwoOh · 26/12/2010 23:12

of course it is, it's perfectly NORMAL for boys to like these toys. so how come the OP's in-laws waited until she produced a female before arranging that every gift she got from them was domestic-related?

MumNWLondon · 26/12/2010 23:13

Either of my kids (DD or DS) would have LOVED this at 2. My kids I think still hold it again me that they never got a play kitchen as we didn't have space.

As you already have boys they probably thought you have enough lego/cars/train set.

Honestly my DS liked "hoovering" and "playfood" as much as my DD (but she was less interested in cars and trains and fireengines. He was less interested in dollies. I think these presents would be just as appropriate for a boy as a girl.

midori1999 · 26/12/2010 23:16

People hgender stereotype, especially older generations. As long as you don't, does it matter?

I remember my Grandparents balking when I said DS1 would like a toy kitchen for his birthday when he was about 4. He adored it. DS3 has a toy kitchen and spent almost all of yesterday playing with a toy kettle, toaster and tea set, making us all cups of pretend 'tea' and bringing us 'cake'. He also has a kitchen, which he loves, and play food.