Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think it's mean sending your baby to your childminders on Christmas Eve when you're doing nothing else

237 replies

woahthere · 24/12/2010 00:13

Usually I look after little ones during the day and then get older children ofr after school care. This week I have had the after schoolers during the day along with the little ones. Frequently this week I have had epole show up several hours late because they couldnt be arsed to get out of bed (Yes, I am being paid but it is really annoying when you have to get up and be ready by 8 for people to then not turn up till 10.30 as you cant go anywhere do anyhting in this time).
One family, asked me to do a full day then didt turn up all day. They then asked me to do another full day and turned up at lunchtime. They then asked me to do another half day nad eneded up being an hour late.
Another family, Ive looked afer the babe nearly full time all week. I KNOW for a fact she is doing nothing at the mo and is just at home. She gets all her childcare paid for by her uni, the other day she was meant to pick up her baby at 2.30. At 4 despite me having texted saying 'where are you' I was still waiting, she then turned up na dI could smell that she had been drinking!
Anyway, tomorrow, despite the fact that she had told me that she didnt need me tomorrow she has now said she will be bringing her little one to me after all. There is nothing I can do about it becasue i have been paid to work it but she had said she didnt need me and has now somehow changed her mind. I ahve worked so hard this year, above and beyond the call. She will be at home I know and she said 'I wont drop her off till after lunch because I want to stay in bed tomorrow', so this means, that on Xmas Eve, she intends to drop off her daughter in the afernoon meaning I will be working until 6.
Why would you not want to be with your kids on CHRISTMAS eve fgs! She doesnt need me to work, I think she is just trying to get her bloody money's worth!!

OP posts:
secondbest · 24/12/2010 00:17

I think this may kick off!

Personally, I've never left my child in childcare unless I've been at work, if I'm off then my child is off with me.

But that's my choice, so horses for courses?

mogwhistle · 24/12/2010 00:18

You don't actually know that she doesn't have plans and as you say you are being paid for your time so why be so judgy? A young baby won't know it's Christmas Eve anyway.

IHeartKittensAndWine · 24/12/2010 00:19

Mean for the children or mean for you?
If the former, none of your business really, provided they arrive fed, showered etc
If for you - well, they are paying you. If you had wanted xmas eve off you could have taken it as part of your leave arrangement. They may have other things planned for the afternoon for which they needed the childcare, or they may have just wanted to take advantage of childcare which would o/wise have been wasted to do nothing.

I get that not turning up when they say they will is annoying but the rest of it ie who pays for the care, do they need it (unless you have evidence to believe its fraudulent)- why is it your business?

MerrilyDefective · 24/12/2010 00:20

Difficult....you ARE being paid for it.
NOT your business what the Mum is doing(or not doing or how she gets her childcare paid)
I don't know how the situ is with your contract but if you are being(have been)paid then i'd think you have to work it..

hatesponge · 24/12/2010 00:21

lots of people have to work a full day on Xmas eve. If you didn't want to work Xmas Eve presumably you could have decided earlier in the year you would be closed that day? (I've used CMs in the past who have been closed on Xmas Eve)

re this baby's mum, would you feel the same if she was paying you herself, rather than care being funded by her uni? and actually if the uni are paying (presumably to enable her to use the time to study etc) then I'd wonder whether she could get into trouble for not sending her DD...

Tortington · 24/12/2010 00:21

and so she should! ( get her moneys worth)

if you don't want to do it - then don't , but you can't complain about not wanting to do it - but still get paid for it.

so there ae two issues.

  1. the morality of a mother sending her child to a childminders whilst she herself is at home.

  2. you getting paid to work or not to work but still getting paid.

on the first one - i don't really care. a baby doesn't know its xmas eve and tbh if someone would have paid for someone else to have my babies - i'd of happily palmed them off in favour of jezza kyle and a packet of wotsits.

on the second one - well its your choice.

don't do it - and don't get paid but you can't moan about doing it and getting paid - you do have an ption.

theres also another thing.

kwhats with the last minute shit frm everyone? have yu got a contract or rules or something that the parents sign?

i agree that this is rubbish - but again - you are getting paid for the time even though the children aren't there.

RobynLou · 24/12/2010 00:22

as a self employed cm, if you wanted to have xmas eve off then you should've stated you were taking the day off, if you're being paid to do a job for a day then you can't really complain at having to actually do it!

none of your business what the mother is doing imo, I wouldn't have DD in childcare all day if I wasn't working, but I have v occasionally put her in for a full day when I was only working half a day, because I really wanted a bit of time to myself.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 24/12/2010 00:22

It is nothing to do with you what the parent/s do when the child is with you, Christmas Eve or not

You know this

The turning up smelling of drink would worry me, and you could ask for help on the CM board with dealing with this if it happens again

If children don't arrive when they are booked to arrive you ought not change your plans, there are lots of threads again in the CMs ection detailing strategies to deal with persistent late drop offs

YABU

PeachyPossum · 24/12/2010 00:22

You're taking money to be 'available', so no you can't use that time to do something else! I wouldn't leave my kids on Christmas eve by choice, but have had to work it.

My old CM wouldn't work that day so took it unpaid - if you don't want to work it couldn't you do the same?

Maybe she has no money for christmas presents until tomorrow so has to shop, but wants as much of the day with LO as she can have, ie lazy morning together.

MerrilyDefective · 24/12/2010 00:22

YUP

gingerjam · 24/12/2010 00:23

YANBU

I have to pay my nursery for the THREE WEEKS it is shut over christmas. I'm a little annoyed but these people look after my baby. I'm grateful, we're all human and I hope they have a good christmas. I think you should put your foot down and point out it is christmas.

BadaBingBang · 24/12/2010 00:24

Sounds to me like you need a holiday yourself, hope you have some time off at Christmas to re-charge.

PeachyPossum · 24/12/2010 00:25

My CM asked for 2 full days a week in holidays, if I was also off I used the time for romantic long lunches with hubby and strolling round the shops. Her bad if this was an issue, as she insisted on being paid that time to hold their place.

woahthere · 24/12/2010 00:25

i DO know!!!
I wouldnt have minded so much but she had said to me that she didnt need me, so today when I handed over Christmas present and said..'I'll say now because I wont see you again, hope you have a lovely Christmas' I was more than abit surprised when she then said 'oh actually i will probably bring her round after 12...
Why will it kick off?
I am I will admit more annoyed because this whole week has felt like a trial, i am tired, fed up, feel hard done by and have missed my doc app because of late mindee parent and then got told I cant get another one till next year, when I really feel like I need to go for it.
You'd be pissed if too if you'd had people arrivng at 7 to get their kids when 6 is you r absolute latest youre meant to work till.

OP posts:
IHeartKittensAndWine · 24/12/2010 00:26

ok.. bear with me as I'm a little bit tipsy, and I apologise if this arrogant or unpleasant.I don't use a cm (yet).
BUT... if I pay a gardener to tend my garden on the grounds that I (usually) don't have time to do this and a cleaner to clean my house for the same reason, and one week out of 52 when I have already paid them (presumabely unrefundable) money I have the time off, and therefore decide NOT to clean/garden but to go shopping/sort out my income tax etc, what's wrong with that? And why would that be any different for childminding?

IHeartKittensAndWine · 24/12/2010 00:27

why don't you fine them if they turn up an hour late once and give them a warning if you do it a second time?

hatesponge · 24/12/2010 00:28

I've also left my DC (when they - and I - were much younger) in childcare whilst I've not been at work - in fact I think I may have even done it at Xmas once or twice so that my Ex and I could do the Xmas shop (days before home deliveries)/buy last minute presents/get stuff 'done' at home which with 2 small people and both working full time its impossible to get round to...

as has been said though, you're being paid so what really does it matter? it is Christmas after all...spirit of goodwill and all that :)

PeachyPossum · 24/12/2010 00:30

'so this means, that on Xmas Eve, she intends to drop off her daughter in the afernoon meaning I will be working until 6. '

Mean for OP, by the sound of that. Also, the parents turning up at 7, not mentioned in OP, and not related imo. If they are late, fine them - warn them etc, don't just let them do it - although this weather makes work journeys unpredictable.

RobynLou · 24/12/2010 00:31

IHeartKittensAndWine because when you become a mother you must always flagellate yourself to prove you're a good parent to anyone and everyone who happens to be watching at any time put your children first Wink

TheSecondComing · 24/12/2010 00:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MerrilyDefective · 24/12/2010 00:33

You didn't make that clear in the OP.
But you are right
...7pm instead of 6pm would annoy me too,but that's another issue.

lumpybumpyme · 24/12/2010 00:33

if you wanted it off, you should have booked it off, so yabu

MerrilyDefective · 24/12/2010 00:35

In it for the cash or not is not the issue...
We all work for money

woahthere · 24/12/2010 00:35

Crossed posts a little bit. I absolutely agree that if Ive been paid and have stated, as I DID in my newsltter that I was avavilable for work up to Christmas. However, I was specifically told by this woman that she did not need me. I have also been really flexible on her part so feel she could look at this and say, 'well its Christmas Eve, xxx looks after my child 40 hours a week and needs a break'
She lives in viewing distance from my house, I can literally see her partying from my window.

OP posts:
ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 24/12/2010 00:36

OP if you don't liek CMing why do you do it? clearly you have a problem with parents using your service when they aren't working. do you have any trouble accepting this woman's money knowing she hasn't worked? and who exactly is this mean to? teh child?

if you don't want to work on xmas eve, tehn don't open for business. why didn't you think this through?

Swipe left for the next trending thread