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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think it's mean sending your baby to your childminders on Christmas Eve when you're doing nothing else

237 replies

woahthere · 24/12/2010 00:13

Usually I look after little ones during the day and then get older children ofr after school care. This week I have had the after schoolers during the day along with the little ones. Frequently this week I have had epole show up several hours late because they couldnt be arsed to get out of bed (Yes, I am being paid but it is really annoying when you have to get up and be ready by 8 for people to then not turn up till 10.30 as you cant go anywhere do anyhting in this time).
One family, asked me to do a full day then didt turn up all day. They then asked me to do another full day and turned up at lunchtime. They then asked me to do another half day nad eneded up being an hour late.
Another family, Ive looked afer the babe nearly full time all week. I KNOW for a fact she is doing nothing at the mo and is just at home. She gets all her childcare paid for by her uni, the other day she was meant to pick up her baby at 2.30. At 4 despite me having texted saying 'where are you' I was still waiting, she then turned up na dI could smell that she had been drinking!
Anyway, tomorrow, despite the fact that she had told me that she didnt need me tomorrow she has now said she will be bringing her little one to me after all. There is nothing I can do about it becasue i have been paid to work it but she had said she didnt need me and has now somehow changed her mind. I ahve worked so hard this year, above and beyond the call. She will be at home I know and she said 'I wont drop her off till after lunch because I want to stay in bed tomorrow', so this means, that on Xmas Eve, she intends to drop off her daughter in the afernoon meaning I will be working until 6.
Why would you not want to be with your kids on CHRISTMAS eve fgs! She doesnt need me to work, I think she is just trying to get her bloody money's worth!!

OP posts:
Sazisi · 27/12/2010 00:36

disclaimer I have only read the first page, then skim-read this page :)

I can empathise with you Woahthere, I would hate to be taken for granted so.
If parents are going to be late for drop-off, it is common courtesy to let you know. Ask them tocall/text you in future so you can plan accordingly.
Also, the parent who changed her mind about Christmas Eve the night before was in the wrong, I do think though that you should have stood up for yourself then and there adn told her you had made other plans and were not available, because she had already told you she wouldn't be needing you.

You need to be more assertive, or you're going to find yourself continually taken advantage of and pissed off Wink

As for parents being late at pick-up, if this has only happened recently due to weather, you need to cut them some slack. Although, again, they should let you know they are runnning late adn give an idea of when they thingk they'll be there.

oneortwo · 27/12/2010 17:28

I was quite late (once, for a good reason) for my CM once and she called to say that she had plans with the other kids (drop offs/pick ups etc) so I could either meet her on her route, or would have to wait till X O clock when they got back.

I thought that was reasonable. If you take other kids out to the sure start or something and one's not arrived on time to leave, just send a text asking for them to be dropped there instead?

Sounds like you've made a rod for your own back by not having late policies and pre agreed holidays etc, could have been easily avoided

woahthere · 27/12/2010 20:00

I have got late policies and everything else thank you everybody, and I am very assertive usually, and I charge for late pick ups but we have had the most snowy weather ever and I have had to be flexible! Plus, its Christmas, so I was being nice! I do cut them some slack also and I judge what to charge based on what they are usually like. I was ranting on here, not at all of them!

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 27/12/2010 21:57

i put dc in nursery so i can get hair done,see pals,have meal with dp.of course i use nursery when i dont need to.i want that time to do stuff.parents using cm will do same to

Ripeberry · 27/12/2010 22:06

It's at times like these that I'm glad I only do term-time only contracts. Much less heartache all around Hmm

scottishmummy · 27/12/2010 22:06

find right nursery no heartache.at all

twosoups · 27/12/2010 22:16

Haven't read the whole thread but can't believe anyone would be judgy about a mother leaving her children with a CM while she didn't go to work.

You never know people's circumstances.

I work part time and my DD goes to nursery 3 days a week. I have a day off every other week and I use it to do things I need to do. She's 18 months old and impossible to take shopping/hairdressing or anything like that. I have no family so the nursery is a lifeline.

imgonnaliveforever · 27/12/2010 23:07

YANBU to expect people to let you know more than a day in advance of a change of plans.

I use a CM for my 2 dcs. I am a teacher and sometimes use CM in school hols as we're paying, but this is only for one day a week anyway.

However, I would always let CM know if I was going to be late (we are quite often much later in the school hols as we all have a lie in) and would definitely say if we weren't coming. I know my CM has school runs to do with other children, and if my hours are different than usual I would try to fit round her.

MrsMooo · 28/12/2010 07:48

I'm sorry but I've only read the first page and YABU

What the parents do whilst their children are in your care is their business, if you have agreed to take them and are being paid, then what's the problem?

I quite often take a days leave when DS is at nursery and then come home, put my pj's on and slob about in peace. All parents need a bit of me time every now and then!

That said, YANBU about the lateness one of the reasons I use a nursery and not a CM is because I can drop off whenever suits me, however I do mention if it's going to be over an hour (and therefore potentially affect how many staff they need), I think the text idea is a good one but if it weather related bear in mind that they may be driving and unable to stop to call/text and cut them some slack

fruitstick · 28/12/2010 08:03

I genuinely don't understand your problem.

Are you saying that parents should be allowed no time away from their children unless they are at work? How bizarre.

Maybe they don't have any other support. Maybe they needed to buy Christmas presents. Maybe they just wanted a break!

If my CM judged me like that I'd be finding a new one.

scoobytoo · 28/12/2010 08:09

You need to get your rules and regs sorted. If you said you were available till christmas and she said she didn't need you, then when she turned round and said she did you should have refused and told her it wasn't booked.

There needs to be penalties for late pick ups, a timed window for drops offs after which time you will not accept the child without prior agreement and all days should be agreed at least a week in advance. This should all be put into a contract and signed by all parties.

woahthere · 28/12/2010 22:50

no fruitstick im not saying that, read a few more of my posts and you'll realise that.

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