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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think it's mean sending your baby to your childminders on Christmas Eve when you're doing nothing else

237 replies

woahthere · 24/12/2010 00:13

Usually I look after little ones during the day and then get older children ofr after school care. This week I have had the after schoolers during the day along with the little ones. Frequently this week I have had epole show up several hours late because they couldnt be arsed to get out of bed (Yes, I am being paid but it is really annoying when you have to get up and be ready by 8 for people to then not turn up till 10.30 as you cant go anywhere do anyhting in this time).
One family, asked me to do a full day then didt turn up all day. They then asked me to do another full day and turned up at lunchtime. They then asked me to do another half day nad eneded up being an hour late.
Another family, Ive looked afer the babe nearly full time all week. I KNOW for a fact she is doing nothing at the mo and is just at home. She gets all her childcare paid for by her uni, the other day she was meant to pick up her baby at 2.30. At 4 despite me having texted saying 'where are you' I was still waiting, she then turned up na dI could smell that she had been drinking!
Anyway, tomorrow, despite the fact that she had told me that she didnt need me tomorrow she has now said she will be bringing her little one to me after all. There is nothing I can do about it becasue i have been paid to work it but she had said she didnt need me and has now somehow changed her mind. I ahve worked so hard this year, above and beyond the call. She will be at home I know and she said 'I wont drop her off till after lunch because I want to stay in bed tomorrow', so this means, that on Xmas Eve, she intends to drop off her daughter in the afernoon meaning I will be working until 6.
Why would you not want to be with your kids on CHRISTMAS eve fgs! She doesnt need me to work, I think she is just trying to get her bloody money's worth!!

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 24/12/2010 01:10

you see this is why i send my dc to nursery.open 50weeks year.no bellyaching.i am consumer

i pay, they provide.
nice easy businesss transaction.
no staff bitching well mum guiltily revealed she going shopping. oh my what next?laughing in afternoon?

dont give a hoot what staff think my face looks like as i drop off.not their business frankly

midori1999 · 24/12/2010 01:10

It seems you were happy to take payment for the day, but don't want to work it when asked?

If you wanted the day off, surely yiou should have said you would be taking the day off and not expect payment for it?

woahthere · 24/12/2010 01:11

boo, i didnt, she told me she didnt need me. Imagine you work in a shop (which you might, I dont know) If your boss said, actually,we dont need you that day and give you the day off fully paid. And then, the day before, they rang you, and said actually you will have to work it after all...would you not be pissed off?? I think you would. There might not be anything you can do about it but you might still want to post a seething rant on mumsnet about it!

OP posts:
ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 24/12/2010 01:13

she told you she didn't need you, i get that, but when she told you this evening she had changed her mind, taht was your cue to say "well actually because you said you wouldn't be bringing her i have made otehr arrangements. i need more notice than this for changes to agreed plans"

FabbyChic · 24/12/2010 01:14

YOu will have to tell the parents who arrive after 6 in the evening that you will be charging £10 per half hour late as this is the time you tend you own children and get on with your own household affairs.

Penalise the parents who take the piss.

Make rules and stick to them.

If someone tells you they won't be needing you, if they then change their mind tell them you have made alternative arrangements.

You have a voice if you let yourself be walked on peeps trample all over you.

Tell them all you want to review contracts in the new year to cover late collection etc., You want notifying before they are due if they are going to be late as this conicides in some cases with plans you have made. If you are self employed you have the ultimate say not the parents of the children you look after. They need you more than you need them, remember that.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 24/12/2010 01:15

and i have had leave booked in work only to be told teh day before that i need to come in. if i had no plans i obiged but if i didn't want to come in when i had booked teh leave then i just said no.

woahthere · 24/12/2010 01:16

im a bit worried you have issues scottish mummy, i have openly stated i have no probs with anyone going shopping fgs or whatever they want to do, its more the issue around it, i.e that i was told one thing and something else happened. If you had told nursery you didnt need them and they had looked at their numbers and realised they didnt need so many staff they would send some home or canceled them for the next day off...then they WOULD have issue with you messing them about because they wouldnt have enough staff to look after your child

OP posts:
ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 24/12/2010 01:17

and if parents drop off late, carry on with your day and tell them they will have to find you wherever you are at the time they arrive. so if you leave at 9.15 to go to M&T then teh late droppers will have to track you down and meet you there. let them know this is what will be happening in future,

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 24/12/2010 01:20

ha SM is about the least issue laden MNer about!!

Bonsoir · 24/12/2010 01:22

woahthere - it sounds as if some of your clients are very inconsiderate, both towards you and towards their children. Maybe you should be looking for new clients?

woahthere · 24/12/2010 01:24

oh god, (sob) i do usually do all these things guys, and i do have a late arrival charge, and i do everything by the book, but this week has been so unusual and its nearly christmas and i thought be being a little bit ..giving.., and i made a tired fed up thread on aibu, hoping for some [hugs] and i got a load of shit back, i wish you all really knew how out of my way i go for the parents and the children...

OP posts:
ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 24/12/2010 01:25

AIBU is not the place for hugs. sorry, but it really isn't this is where you come when you want a kicking. maybe post in the CM board?

woahthere · 24/12/2010 01:28

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woahthere · 24/12/2010 01:29

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ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 24/12/2010 01:40

erm, i wasn't saying i was going to kick you Hmm but everyone knows there are no hugs here. i hope you don't kiss your mindees with that mouth.

chill pill anyone?

woahthere · 24/12/2010 01:41

Oh boo, Im not saying that people shouldnt do what they want to do while Im childminding, in fact I pos1)itively ENCOURAGE it, I know only too well how important it is to have time to yourself, I myself used to send my little boy to nursery while I looked after my newborn for a fwe half days a week just so i could get a break...thats not the issue!! The issue is, why , when its nearly Christmas, would you want to piss your childmnder off!!n(I wouldnt

OP posts:
woahthere · 24/12/2010 01:44

Sorry boo, I do love swearing, but quite cleverly, manage not to do it to my mindees and turn out the most polite children that everyone comments on! x

OP posts:
weedle · 24/12/2010 02:03

woahthere

I think your prob is the wording of your post, the wording makes it seem like you're looking down on people who use CM during holidays, when clearly it's not that.

It should besomething like:

AIBU for wanting people to stick to what they say after I've bent over backwards for them and their children?

I can totally see where you're coming from, it's horrid when you bend over backwards for people because of holidays or weather issues. (Eg giving lifts, giving meals or keeping children later becasue their parents are stuck in your case)and you feel like people are taking the pee. You sound like you could do with a break yourself. I know that if I've got it in my head x or y is happening and the night before plans change and I have to work it is frustrating. Whether you were being paid or not isnt the point, it's just that you probably had something you wanted to do and now you can't. If you'd known she was coming to you for the day or afternoon you wouldnt feel like this I'll bet!

Hope you have a great christmas

woahthere · 24/12/2010 02:12

I dont have anything to do because I thought I was working I have made sure I had everything done, however, all the extra work, children, time i am tired and frustrated, and being honest feeling ill and close to breakdown.

OP posts:
weedle · 24/12/2010 02:15

Oh I thought the prob was she only just told you she needed you...

Perhaps a good nights sleep will sort you out, I know I'll be hitting the pit in a minute. It's too late!

Morloth · 24/12/2010 02:33

If you didn't want to work you should have that in your contract. If you don't want to be flexible put it in your contract. What is in your contract?

Did you expect to be paid for Christmas Eve even if she didn't use you?

PenguinArmy · 24/12/2010 03:11

Oh dear

I was just about to post some sympathy, but looks like you've lost it.

YANBU to be upset at having to work when you thought you didn't, but it's NU for you to do it. Yes it sucks, but tough.

Your main problem is your title asked quite clearly for a flaming. Although you probably just needed to rant, it set everything off on the wrong foot. Doesn't matter about the content of your posts, because your title (which poses a completely different Q) was unreasonale

cumbria81 · 24/12/2010 05:43

So what? The baby doesn't exactly know it's Christmas Eve does it? And besides, it's not Christmas "Eve" during the day.

And even if the child were older and more aware - this is your JOB. It should be no concern of yours what the parents do when their children are with you. You are paid to look after them, end of.

You are being very judgemental.

Katey1010 · 24/12/2010 05:50

Boring practical post here. Be REALLY careful about fining parents for lateness. Studies have shown that this increases lateness. Possibly because parents think, lovely 10 pounds for an extra half an hour, cheap at the price!!! People respond better to social cues. Really communicate why it is difficult for you and hard on your family when people are late. It may work better.

As you were, ladies...

TyraG · 24/12/2010 06:39

I haven't read the whole thread so I don't know if this has been stated already, but if you notice a parent has been drinking, DO NOT release their child to them. Instead, call the police and let them hash it out with her. I would feel awful if I let a drunk parent take their child home in a car and they ended up killing themselves and/or someone else.

Also, if you don't like having to deal with the parents who either don't show up or show up late, stop taking care of their kids and tell them they have to find someone else to watch their child.

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