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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think it's mean sending your baby to your childminders on Christmas Eve when you're doing nothing else

237 replies

woahthere · 24/12/2010 00:13

Usually I look after little ones during the day and then get older children ofr after school care. This week I have had the after schoolers during the day along with the little ones. Frequently this week I have had epole show up several hours late because they couldnt be arsed to get out of bed (Yes, I am being paid but it is really annoying when you have to get up and be ready by 8 for people to then not turn up till 10.30 as you cant go anywhere do anyhting in this time).
One family, asked me to do a full day then didt turn up all day. They then asked me to do another full day and turned up at lunchtime. They then asked me to do another half day nad eneded up being an hour late.
Another family, Ive looked afer the babe nearly full time all week. I KNOW for a fact she is doing nothing at the mo and is just at home. She gets all her childcare paid for by her uni, the other day she was meant to pick up her baby at 2.30. At 4 despite me having texted saying 'where are you' I was still waiting, she then turned up na dI could smell that she had been drinking!
Anyway, tomorrow, despite the fact that she had told me that she didnt need me tomorrow she has now said she will be bringing her little one to me after all. There is nothing I can do about it becasue i have been paid to work it but she had said she didnt need me and has now somehow changed her mind. I ahve worked so hard this year, above and beyond the call. She will be at home I know and she said 'I wont drop her off till after lunch because I want to stay in bed tomorrow', so this means, that on Xmas Eve, she intends to drop off her daughter in the afernoon meaning I will be working until 6.
Why would you not want to be with your kids on CHRISTMAS eve fgs! She doesnt need me to work, I think she is just trying to get her bloody money's worth!!

OP posts:
IHeartKittensAndWine · 24/12/2010 00:37

HA RobynLou My DSis rang me half in tears earlier. A -bitch- assistant at her nursery called her a bad mummy for picking her youngest up late...

Not late by the hours she pays the nursery, just late by her usual standards, because she was on time and not twenty minutes early like normal.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 24/12/2010 00:40

why aren't you running a tighter ship WRT them dropping off an collecting late? have you got contracts for them all?

hatesponge · 24/12/2010 00:40

Working full time isn't easy, we all need a break, as I'm sure do you - but when I need a break I book a day's holiday. I wouldn't expect my employer to decide that for me...which in a sense is what you're saying she should do for you - give you the day off rather than you booking it off yourself.

If you had said you were closed Xmas Eve, would you still be paid?

woahthere · 24/12/2010 00:45

thats mean, i am in it for the cash, of course, i am a business but i do so much for the children i look after that is not about cash. Ive been so flexible about people being late because of the weather. Its all about the children, they are so loved and well cared for and made part of the family.
Yes I am paid for whe nthey dont come in mornings but that is not my problem. Iam still available and have made my time available for them and sometimes it is detrimental to hte other children I look after because we are limited where we can go what we cna do because we are waiting.
I have no problem with pepole doing what they want when they are paying for me to look after their kids. One lady dropped her child off the other day, looked at me guiltiyl and said'we are going 'shopping'. I smiled and said good have fun. One lady uses me while she does her housework, another while she does her coursework. I really dont mind and always say enjoy to them. Today however, I do feel taken advantage of, and tired and abit mucked about.

OP posts:
IHeartKittensAndWine · 24/12/2010 00:45

if you are flexible that's your preregotive. You can't expect people who deal with you in a commercial capacity to reciprocate unless you strike it as part of the deal... I regularly work long past finishing, and yes in return I've sometimes left early but only by agreeing it explicitly and in advance with my boss...

Tis the way of the world, like or lump it. Other people are preoccupied with their own concerns.

IHeartKittensAndWine · 24/12/2010 00:46

She looks at you guiltily - so her guilt makes it better Hmm

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 24/12/2010 00:48

you say you have no problem with what people are doing when tehy pay you to look afetr their DC but yet you are begrudging this woman teh same thing you say you don't begrudge. it doesn't matter if she is working or sunbathing as long as she keeps to her contract with you. what she does while you have her child is nothing to do with you.

scottishmummy · 24/12/2010 00:50

stop bloody complaining,she client you're getting paid.your moral indignation about the situation is neither here nor there

stop opining your job is childcare.so get on with it,chop chop.none of your business why she has booked time with you

StuffingGoldBrass · 24/12/2010 00:52

It sounds like you need to tighten up generally on bookings/hours/times. So if someone says they will not be bringing you their DC on a particular day, you repeat back to them, I am not looking after [DC] on [date] and I will put that in My Book... so if the parent then changes his/her mind you can say, but you told me you would not need me that day and I'm not available.

But what people do while you are minding their DC is none of your business. And 'smelling of drink' is not exactly proof of malevolent alcoholism at this time of year.

MerrilyDefective · 24/12/2010 00:52

scottishmummy......woooah..Xmas Grin

woahthere · 24/12/2010 00:55

what is your problem boo? read what ive written and take it as its meant!? I have been really flexible this week because of the bad weather, she ahs turned up left right and centre. You have to understand that as a childminder you are often left in situations that are far from ideal and you endure them because of the beautiful children. She hasnt kept her contract because of the shitty weather and I have been understanding. She also told me one thing and did another, I dont think its beyond me to feel a bit fed up about it having gone out my way all week.

OP posts:
woahthere · 24/12/2010 00:57

Im not usually flexible or anyones fool, but this week, come on with the snow and everything being the way it is, you would have to be a heartless bitch...

OP posts:
JaneS · 24/12/2010 00:57

Wow - my real question is, where's this fabulous uni that pays all her childcare costs?!

I want me one of them!

In other news: it's a baby. It's not getting excited about Christmas now, is it?

woahthere · 24/12/2010 00:58

scottishmummy?????
read any further posts, care much???
wouldnt look after your kids in a million years with that attitude.

OP posts:
woahthere · 24/12/2010 01:00

lttlereddragon...
i have to fill in a form stating what childcare cost she is likely to incur, if its not incurred it makes no difference, she still gets paid it...

OP posts:
IHeartKittensAndWine · 24/12/2010 01:00

I'm not saying be a heartless bitch. I have pointed out a) she is paying you tomorrow for times that you said you would be available (even if you subsequently didn't want to be) so from her perspective it's a very fair exchange b) so long as she turns up able to take care of the children it doesn't make any difference if she's turned up having entertained a dozen gentleman callers to an orgy and c) because she has other concerns - getting home in the snow, christmas, work, etc, she may not recognise your flexibility unless you make it explicit and ask for some recipricocity.

IHeartKittensAndWine · 24/12/2010 01:01

... a dozen gentleman callers to an orgy while her dcs are in your care, not hers. Obviously.

scottishmummy · 24/12/2010 01:03

the attitude that its a business transacvtion?
with boundaries?
parameters and payments?
and if mum pays she can utilise session (even on xmas eve)?

think you will find reputable cm have clear parameters and contracts of expectations.and dont bitch about the mums

woahthere · 24/12/2010 01:04

iheartkittens... i know this, and wouldnt care much, BUT, she told me she didnt need me and has now turned around and told me the night before, and its what time she wants. Thats just not the way childminding works!!!

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ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 24/12/2010 01:04

woahthere indeed. I'm not the one with the problem here missus. you are the one spouting about doing your own bloody job. teh run up to christmas is a busy week for most, the weather has made things difficult for a lot of people and everyone just wants to be off work already. you are no different I'm sure. but you agreed to work, you opened for business and people gave you business, don't begrudge this woman her own time off just because you didn't have the foresight to close.

IHeartKittensAndWine · 24/12/2010 01:05

But you didn't tell her you'd changed your mind about availability - so surely it IS the way that childminding works?

woahthere · 24/12/2010 01:06

I wouldnt deal with any Mum that felt it was a just a 'business transaction' scottishmummy, because I wouldnt feel i had anything in common with them, which is paramount when dealing with children i feel

OP posts:
JaneS · 24/12/2010 01:06

Thanks woah - sorry, I know it's not the point of the thread but I am stunned at the uni paying. Nice for her!

I would say, if she's either a student or a lecturer, chances are you won't know if she's working or not, as she won't necessarily be clocking in and clocking out. She may even have had a glass or two of wine while she does her typing-up, it's not unheard of.

So she might actually be pretty busy, mightn't she?

(Not, again, that it's really up to you what she does with her time while you mind her child, but it might make you feel less fed up if she's not swanning around.)

SonicMiddleAge · 24/12/2010 01:07

So she had a christmas party/do/drinks with uni friends she went to instead of having a day with her little one? Hardly a crime, esp as a studying mum she probably misses most uni social events. And yes, I had yesterday morning off, and put my LO in daycare, I thought she'd have a better time in a baby centric place than dragged around a christmas supermarket. But then again I use a good childcare facility, not someone who clearly objects working for the hours for which they are paid...

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 24/12/2010 01:09

look i know everyone needs a rant but you seem to be getting overly personal in what this woman does in her own time. regardless of how much she has arsed you about all week, you didn't have to agree to take the child, especially if you think it wont be causing her any childcare issues. but you did agree so suck it up and never worry about what she is at while you are working.

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