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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think it's mean sending your baby to your childminders on Christmas Eve when you're doing nothing else

237 replies

woahthere · 24/12/2010 00:13

Usually I look after little ones during the day and then get older children ofr after school care. This week I have had the after schoolers during the day along with the little ones. Frequently this week I have had epole show up several hours late because they couldnt be arsed to get out of bed (Yes, I am being paid but it is really annoying when you have to get up and be ready by 8 for people to then not turn up till 10.30 as you cant go anywhere do anyhting in this time).
One family, asked me to do a full day then didt turn up all day. They then asked me to do another full day and turned up at lunchtime. They then asked me to do another half day nad eneded up being an hour late.
Another family, Ive looked afer the babe nearly full time all week. I KNOW for a fact she is doing nothing at the mo and is just at home. She gets all her childcare paid for by her uni, the other day she was meant to pick up her baby at 2.30. At 4 despite me having texted saying 'where are you' I was still waiting, she then turned up na dI could smell that she had been drinking!
Anyway, tomorrow, despite the fact that she had told me that she didnt need me tomorrow she has now said she will be bringing her little one to me after all. There is nothing I can do about it becasue i have been paid to work it but she had said she didnt need me and has now somehow changed her mind. I ahve worked so hard this year, above and beyond the call. She will be at home I know and she said 'I wont drop her off till after lunch because I want to stay in bed tomorrow', so this means, that on Xmas Eve, she intends to drop off her daughter in the afernoon meaning I will be working until 6.
Why would you not want to be with your kids on CHRISTMAS eve fgs! She doesnt need me to work, I think she is just trying to get her bloody money's worth!!

OP posts:
purepurple · 24/12/2010 07:16

woahthere, YABU, but you probably know that by now.
You can't have it both ways. You offer a service but then complain when people take you up on it.
You have entire freedom over which days you work and which days you don't.
You could have closed on Christmas Eve.
You could have closed early.
The nursery where i work is closing at 1pm Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve. We are open next week but I have booked days off. (Booked them in January as I planned ahead).

BrandyAlexander · 24/12/2010 07:41

If you don't want the money, don't offer the service. I have worked 15 hour stressful days for the last 3 weeks. If I wanted to use cm on xmas eve to get a break, then I would and that would be my business. To put it clearly, it is absolutely none of your business what she is doing today. Get over yourself.

PressureDrop · 24/12/2010 07:43

Presumably you are paid for this work? It's not your place to judge, really, is it?

PuppyMonkey · 24/12/2010 07:56

It is Christmas eve all day, just pointing that out.

I think yabu, but she should've let you know earlier she would need you after all. Nevermind, you're being paid for it. Next year book it off as hols like I have to do in order to get Christmas eve off.

You should go to bed earlier in your line of work too Wink

Balthasar · 24/12/2010 08:35

TyraG that is way over the top - OP has already said she can see mindee's house from hers so she's unlikely to be driving. Are you saying she should call police because the mindee's mum might have had a glass of wine? Don't be ridiculous.

DontLetTinselDragOnTheFloor · 24/12/2010 08:37

OP, I'm glad you're not my childminder. I'd rather have my children cared for by someone less judgemental.

pink4ever · 24/12/2010 08:50

PMSL at people believing cm dont bitch about the mums!!! Have posted on here before on this subject so will say no more.
YANBU imo but then I would want to spend xmas eve with my dcs.

TyraG · 24/12/2010 08:50

Balthasar so now it's ridiculous to try and keep children safe? Nice. If it's enough for her to complain about then it must be enough for her to be concerned. If it's not then why did she even bother mentioning it? And honey, just because someone lives close by doesn't mean they won't drive. How does she know that the mother won't then take the child and drive to do some shopping?

Studies have shown that even as much as one glass of wine can have an effect on your reaction time. But then perhaps you've never been hit by a drunk driver so what do you care.

MollieO · 24/12/2010 08:59

All you need to do is ask parents what time they are dropping off and tell them your plans. If I was planning to drop Ds off late I would discuss with the CM and agree an approximate time. I would take Ds to his CM when I was at home firstly because I had things to do and secondly Ds would have more fun playing with other children.

It sounds from your OP that every parent you mind for causes you problems. Sounds to me as if you really don't like your job and maybe you would be happier doing something else.

HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly · 24/12/2010 09:00

I think that you need procedures in place to fine people who pick up late. That's not on, it's taking the piss to not collect your child on time (without a good - emergency - reason)

re christmas - you can't have it both ways. Either you want to be paid or you want the time off. You can't expect people to pay you and say oh, it's christmas, I'll just pay her but not bring the kids in. You're not doing them a favour by childminding and they're not doing you a favour by allowing you to childmind. It is a service you offer and they pay for. I think that gets forgotten by many. Maybe it's because it's about children, perhaps it's because you do work closely together. If schools are open would you expect the teacher to be pissed off if the kids come in? if tesco is open, would you expect the cashiers to have an attitude and feel that customers should not come in?

So next year, be off. Say that christmas week you are taking as holiday or something. You've learned that you would really benefit from having the run up to christmas mindee free, so ensure that happens by saying that you are not available.

MollieO · 24/12/2010 09:03

I'd add that Ds always went to his CM Christmas Eve before he was old enough to come to work with me. His CM loved having him and used to plan a really special day. As in any job there are CMs who love what they do and ones that don't. If you are the latter, which you seem to be, you need to let your parents know so they can decide whether they would prefer to find alternative childcare.

TrillianAstra · 24/12/2010 09:05

If you are going ot be judgemental about when or why someone chooses to put their child in childcare, is it really the right profession for you to be in?

The last-minute shit is shit, BUT your title doesn't say 'I wish this woman wouldn't mess me around', it says 'I think it's mean sending your baby to a childminder on Christmas Eve'. Which is none of your business.

Balthasar · 24/12/2010 09:13

TyraG, can you show me where the OP says that the mum was driving?

Oh no, that's right SHE DIDN'T. What are you on about? Your post didn't mention driving either. You said she should call police basically on the strength of smelling alcohol on the mum's breath.

wind your neck in.

TyraG · 24/12/2010 09:29

Like I said dearheart if it's enough for her to bitch about and mention it on here then it must be enough for her to be concerned about. Otherwise why would she even mention it?

verytellytubby · 24/12/2010 09:37

I haven't read the thread. But if I had childcare for today I would probably send my children for a least a half day as I've got to drag them round the shops getting last minute stuff I've forgotten. Not fun with 3 children.

Also smelling of drink. It's Christmas. She's probably had a glass of wine with her friends. Suggesting that you ring the police is nuts.

sarah293 · 24/12/2010 09:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 24/12/2010 10:13

tyraG the OP also bitched about teh mindee's mum not doing anything while she had her child so i don't think teh fact that OP bitched about smelling alcohol on her breath means it was significant enough to be concerned. i think OP was more jealous about the fact teh woman had been able to have a drink.

and yes you are way OTT for suggesting calling the police. if teh parent is stonking drunk then yes, call them but this parent just smelt of drink. that could mean one drink and could be below the legal limit for driving so not your call to make.

HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly · 24/12/2010 10:16

I think tyra was being sarcastic was she not? oooh, mum smells of alcohol, call social services...

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 24/12/2010 10:18

oops, i didn't read it like that. blame sleep deprivation!! Grin

IAmReallyFabNow · 24/12/2010 10:35

Have I understood this right that you are working Christmas Day?

SantasENormaSnob · 24/12/2010 10:44

Yabvu

happy to take the money but not do the work Hmm

your own fault for not booking it as a days holiday.

dikkertjedap · 24/12/2010 10:46

Well I symphatise with you. I could never be a childminder. I think it is an ungrateful job - you are at the mercy of parents, many of which will look down upon you as an 'unskilled' worker whilst themselves having difficulty coping full time looking after a child (see the 'going back to work' thread - how many mums there can't wait to go back to work because they find it so hard to look after their own child). I think the problem is that many of us have become so self obsessed that we are no longer able to put ourselves in second, third or last place, we think we are most important, our interests should never suffer, if it means that child takes second or last place so be it ... what a sad world we are living in. I find it outrageous when I pick dd up from school how many parents (always the same ones by the way) are late picking up their children, teacher told me she often has to stay for a further 30 minutes (yes virtually every day) for parents to collect their children. You should see the sad little faces of these children lined up against the wall watching their friends go home. Heartbreaking. I think the UK if one of the most childunfriendly societies in Europe.

TyraG · 24/12/2010 10:49

I was going on the assumption (my mistake obviously) that she was concerned that the mother had been drinking, as in multiple drinks. Then coming to pick up the baby.

Sorry I jumped down your throat Balthasar. I was grouchy and took it out on you.

larrygrylls · 24/12/2010 10:59

Woah there,

My sympathies are with you. If you go "above and beyond" on a regular basis in your job, it is reasonable to accept some reciprocity. Clearly you cannot demand it, but you have not demanded it, merely said it makes you a little annoyed.

And those who are so judgmental and cite the terms of the contract, I wonder how many of you who work hard expect either a bonus or some reciprocity in terms of free time from your employer in return for your hard work and flexibility?

snowyweather · 24/12/2010 11:01

Well I put my baby into nursery one day this week and spent the entire day sourcing, making and wrapping gifts for his carers and that is all I did. I do not feel guilty about it at all. I spent the entire day doing this because I wanted to make a big fuss about his carers because they are so amazing and wonderful and I am so happy with the care they give.

I have also had a pamper day while my baby has been looked after. I have done painting and put child in to avoid fumes.

We do not have any other family.

I don't feel guilty at all.

No one iota.

As to lateness I have heard of nurseries where if you are late twice then you lose your place. Simple as that.

If you are saying that the mother was under the influence then you need to be careful and consider the child.

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