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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have made my mum cry..

435 replies

natandchris10 · 20/12/2010 19:59

she deserved it..

saturday night her and my dad cancelled going to a birthday party because he was put on call from work.. so she said she would have LO (9months) over night for us to get a rest.. she mentioned they would nip the present to the person at the do...

bearing in mind my LO goes to bed every day without fail at 7pm, they took the present at 8.30. i spoke to mum just after 8.30 and she said they would be going straight home after 5 mins so i said fine no problem, i said please let me know your all home and LO is sleeping and ok, gets to 9.30pm and i had heard nothing so i thought i would call her.. i rang her mobile, dads mobile, dads work phone, house phone about 300000 times each and got no answer, got to 10.30 and still no answer...

I was going out of my mind..pacing the floor the phone rang at 11pm it was my mum, she tells me they are at the party and LO was 'fine'

i flipped. i couldnt belive how iressponsible she had been. her excuse was no signal. bollox cause it rang. i shouted at her until she cried.

OP posts:
MrsChemistrySetInMyStocking · 20/12/2010 20:12

I wouldn't be terribly happy with someone taking my DS to a party until 11pm, but I think YABU because of your reaction. You could have perhaps told them you weren't happy and saved a proper discussion about it for later when you had calmed down a bit.

backwardpossom · 20/12/2010 20:12

I don't think 9 month old babies should be up as late as 11pm. Then again I'm responsible.

Wow. Judgeypants!

Sidge · 20/12/2010 20:13

Regardless of whether she was right or wrong, to shout at anyone until they cry is mean and nasty. Especially when they are doing you a favour.

I can see you would have been worried but your reaction is, to me, totally disproportionate.

poorbuthappy · 20/12/2010 20:14

I would also question how your father could have been called out if none of the mobiles were working?

strawberrycake · 20/12/2010 20:14

I'm at the point after 7 months without a single break from ds that I wouldn't give a shit if my parents took him to a all-night party if it just gave me a break.

Wake up and realise how lucky you are.

LifeForRent · 20/12/2010 20:15

Ha ha ha goblin some people cry easily. I second that.

Trust me he's seen the GP who said not to worry. So I don't.

7.30am-Breakfast of porridge, a banana and half a yoghurt

12 noon- lunch

4.15- final meal

Snacks are fruit, yoghurt and rice cakes.

He is in his 94 percentile for weight and 2 inches taller than average...and was weaned at 15 weeks.

Perfectly healthy and happy and his development assessment was totted up as a 12 month old when he was 9 months. So thanks for your advice, but he's brilliant-and so is his routine!

hohohohobnobsaremyfave · 20/12/2010 20:15

I think parents that put their children to bed at 5.15 are cruel! (See that's just as rude as saying that parents that let children stay up late occasionally are irressponsible)

wonderstuff · 20/12/2010 20:15

I think YABU clearly you and your mum have very different attitudes to child-rearing you left your child in her care and she did what she felt was OK. I think a better response would be to calmly explain why you are so upset and to agree that in future she does what you expect or she doesn't babysit. I think you have blown any chance of her having your baby for you anytime soon and possibly done massive damage to your relationship with her. If you were my dd I would be vv upset. Remember she was trying to help you out! She kept your baby safe and happy. I would have thought nothing of taking my baby out to a party and staying providing baby was happy tbh. Really not the end of the world is it?

Friend of mine retold to me how when left in charge of her baby grand-daughter who hadn't been sleeping she put her on her tummy with a rolled up towel to stop her rolling over and she slept all night - my jaw dropped and my stomach churned! That is irresponsible - missing bedtime is really no big deal surely?

LifeForRent · 20/12/2010 20:16

backwards not judging the op, the op thinks that her baby was up far too late....but yeah everyone else...!

Pantofino · 20/12/2010 20:16

I would have been pissed off if I thought my child was tucked up in bed, and turned out to be at a party til 11pm! And I am completely unprecious! I can't believe the OP is getting this much stick.

Imarriedafrog · 20/12/2010 20:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wendihouse22 · 20/12/2010 20:16

She's your LO. If you want your/her routine STRICTLY adhered to..... do it yourself.

You're the mummy.

discobeaver · 20/12/2010 20:16

I don't see the issue with having a baby out late. It's not like you're making them neck the egg nog and dance with the host is it?

Babies sleep anywhere, they are portable, they are adaptable. they have to be or the human race would never survive.

TheBlessedVirginReality · 20/12/2010 20:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fishtankneedscleaning · 20/12/2010 20:16

In bed at 5.15! Do people really put their children to bed at dinner time??

rubyslippers · 20/12/2010 20:17

I can't imagine shouting at anyone until they cry

Especially when they have done me a favour

It is one thing to be worried about them being uncontactable but you sound more hacked off about baby's routine being upset for one measly night

LifeForRent · 20/12/2010 20:17

I don't MAKE him go to bed at that time, his routine developed that way since he was around 2 weeks old. We started with putting him in the bath at 6, but he wasn't staying awake long enough...to be honest I am thankful he sleeps all night without waking...beats putting him to bed at 8pm and getting up several times.

hohohohobnobsaremyfave · 20/12/2010 20:17

You sound delightful Life

hatesponge · 20/12/2010 20:17

And sorry, I've never heard of a baby going to bed at 5.15 and sleeping for 14 hours either. Am quite glad neither of my DC did that as they would never have seen either me or their father Mon-Fri.

Pantofino · 20/12/2010 20:17

The point being that this was NOT what was arranged.

LifeForRent · 20/12/2010 20:18

Yes we both work. THanks for your concern. I work from home and my dh works away from the home.

Imarriedafrog · 20/12/2010 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goblinchild · 20/12/2010 20:18

Are you confusing me with someone else?
What advice? I was commenting on the fact your mother cried when you got cross.
I hide all the weaning, BF/FF threads. I'm not very interested as mine are 16 and 20 now.

christmaswrapping · 20/12/2010 20:18

LifeforRent - while you are being so smug - I hope to god that life never ever deals you a bad hand. Because the minute something goes wrong, you are going to be thrown, and your child is going to be thrown. God forbid, you have to go into hospital for anything, and the child's routine is slightly out of kilter.

Not only do they have to cope without you being there, even if just short period of time, but they also have to cope with change in routine.

But carry on being smug judgey pants whilst all is good in the world.

bibbitybobbitysantahat · 20/12/2010 20:19

P
M
S
L

at LifeforRent. Which charm school did you go to? There's going to come a day when you want someone to look after your child for you - are you going to refer to them as an asshole if they don't follow your rules to the minute? Rotten attitude.

OP - yabu.