to have made my mum cry..

[natandchris10]

she deserved it..

saturday night her and my dad cancelled going to a birthday party because he was put on call from work.. so she said she would have LO (9months) over night for us to get a rest.. she mentioned they would nip the present to the person at the do...

bearing in mind my LO goes to bed every day without fail at 7pm, they took the present at 8.30. i spoke to mum just after 8.30 and she said they would be going straight home after 5 mins so i said fine no problem, i said please let me know your all home and LO is sleeping and ok, gets to 9.30pm and i had heard nothing so i thought i would call her.. i rang her mobile, dads mobile, dads work phone, house phone about 300000 times each and got no answer, got to 10.30 and still no answer...

I was going out of my mind..pacing the floor the phone rang at 11pm it was my mum, she tells me they are at the party and LO was 'fine'

i flipped. i couldnt belive how iressponsible she had been. her excuse was no signal. bollox cause it rang. i shouted at her until she cried.

Bringing up dead mothers sounds like a gross out movie.

did she "protect" me?
She did as it happens, but you weren't to know that. not all do, why assume that just because someone's given birth to someone they went on to protect them and care for them? doesn't always follow. Mothers are as varied as any other section of society.

you seem to have one 'mother' stereotype in your head, and its probably would be horrific to say "arsehole" to that person.

Didn't understand the above post

no?
"It makes me feel very sad that alot of women have lost their mums"
so here you were just talking about careless women who leave granny behind on holiday because the did the head count wrong?

The OP has made no reference to her mother being in any way abusive. IMO, she takes her mother for granted (how lovely that her mother will take DD just to give the OP some time to herself/with her DP - how many of us are in that priviledged position?) and doesn't show much respect for her.

I hate this attitude that "allowing" GPs to babysit is doing them a favour. Surely it goes both ways - GPs get to spend time with GC and parents get to do whatever it is they need the DCs out of the way for.

Am fairly sure if I called anyone kind enough to take my children for a night an arsehole to their face (or on the phone - not sure, but it was direct, not just a rant on here)they would be unlikely to offer again.

Scurryfunge, I'm sorry I'm irritating you so. I'll try to explain myself more clearly.

As I understand it, JimmyChooChoos feels it is very hurtful for anyone bereaved to read the OP's posts. I can see this, but I think that "you should never call your mother an arsehole" and "I can't stand vulgar language against one's own mother" aren't pleasant either.

TOTALLY AGREE..very sad..babies are sooo amazing xx

jessie, I got irritated by another irrelevant comment- can't see that the OP'S child -abusing -mother is either true or pertinent.

As, I said at the beginning, if you do not trust a babysitterimplicitly then you should leave your child with her.
I trust my mother and in laws completely and they could have taken DS windsurfing for all I care.

*should NOT leave

I think there's more to this than meets the eye.

I can totally understand upset and anger in the circs of being worried about the baby in this weather. But the unusual (IMO )willingness to be aggressive to the mum and apparent lack of remorse about that makes me think there's more than this event behind her anger.

Either that or the Op is prone to nasty outbursts

I have absolutely no idea what anyone is talking about. As far as I can see the thread goes like this:

AIBU
Yes
Yes
Yes
No
What do you mean yes? She's an aresehole.


But not all mothers are great
That's mean. Think of the bereaved.
That's not right. Think of the abused.
Babies are amazing.

Did I miss something or does this make no sense?

I'm with you kungfupanda

Utterly bizarre...

That just about sums it up kungfupannda

Ah panda - you've got the jist to perfection

so what do you think then kungfupanda?

Scurryfunge, I'm not saying that that the OP's mother is abusive. Indeed, I'm sure I've put in such a disclaimer to that effect before. I am complaining about posts of "she's your mother" variety.

There might be more to it jamie. But it is possible that the OP, like many people, beleives that the world should dance to her tune and throws her toys out of the pram if anything goes wrong.

Most of us have been in a similar position to hers. I certainly have. I managed to retain a sense of perspective and not get so angry I reduced anyone to tears. Life isn't perfect, people make mistakes. Big deal.

Jess
You seem though to be missing the point that the op was sufficiently comfortable with her mother to entrust her baby to her.
Which would tend to preclude monster mother scenarios.

If her mother was awful enough to justify being called an arse hole what possible reason could op have had to hand over her baby.

That is why 'but mother could be disgusting abusive type' points don't strike me as relevant.

Also, I like that masterly summary, kungfupanda.

Oh I agree Orm. Was trying to be generous

My feeling is its very wrong to shout at your mother, even if she's deemed to be in the wrong.

I would feel very guilty to make my mother cry - remember, our mothers are unconditionally there for us (the screwed-on, sane, and caring ones) and we, as the offspring, sometimes forget that!

However, I understand from your point of view getting sick with worry - but give your mum a break - I think you overreacted in the heat of the moment, and hopefully, you'll realise that to have made her cry was wrong. Definitely wrong.

We all make mistakes and your mother wouldn't do anything out of spite etc.

At the end of the day, everyone is still alive, yes? Call me old fashioned, but my children survived pre-mobile days with my parents. I had no idea where they were, what they were doing, but they always pitched up alive and well and happy. I was bloody grateful that they had been looked after.
YABVVVVU. You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself for behaving like an ungrateful wretch and apologise asap to your mum. She most certainly didn't deserve to be made to cry. You need to grow up, chill out and stop being so controlling. If you were my child, I would never babysit for you again, unless you did some serious grovelling.

God. I don't think I have ever made anyone cry my entire adult life. I hope never to.

I do understand how frantic you would have felt OP, not being able to get hold of them. I can kind of understand you overreacting when you finally did get hold of them.

But now you should be feeling mortified and appologetic, not righteous and aggrieved; "she deserved it" is just awful of you.

And again, I'm not making any comment on the OP's mothering quality. I'm saying that the blanket statements in response to the OP are unfair.

It is the "you should never call your mother [insert whatever trendy expletive]" that is getting my goat. Not "your mother sounds lovely, you shouldn't have called her an arsehole" posts.