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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have made my mum cry..

435 replies

natandchris10 · 20/12/2010 19:59

she deserved it..

saturday night her and my dad cancelled going to a birthday party because he was put on call from work.. so she said she would have LO (9months) over night for us to get a rest.. she mentioned they would nip the present to the person at the do...

bearing in mind my LO goes to bed every day without fail at 7pm, they took the present at 8.30. i spoke to mum just after 8.30 and she said they would be going straight home after 5 mins so i said fine no problem, i said please let me know your all home and LO is sleeping and ok, gets to 9.30pm and i had heard nothing so i thought i would call her.. i rang her mobile, dads mobile, dads work phone, house phone about 300000 times each and got no answer, got to 10.30 and still no answer...

I was going out of my mind..pacing the floor the phone rang at 11pm it was my mum, she tells me they are at the party and LO was 'fine'

i flipped. i couldnt belive how iressponsible she had been. her excuse was no signal. bollox cause it rang. i shouted at her until she cried.

OP posts:
oneortwo · 21/12/2010 17:35

dissapointing that it seems there are people who will assume that if there is a conflict, the one who manages to comes to tears first, or who is the elder, must be the victim Hmm

oneortwo · 21/12/2010 17:38

cause all mothers are the same JCC???
I DO NOT get this
I have lost a wonderful parent but do not assume that all parents must therefore be wonderful and all people should respect their parents regardless of their behaviour?

that sort of thing annoys me, some people have HORRIBLE parents who do not deserve respect and to be pandered to. Just cause I lost a wonderful gem of one does not mean that I think anyone should be subservient to $hite ones!

slhilly · 21/12/2010 17:38

JCC, I don't really understand what you're saying. Are you saying that the three behaviours you've described are how you think she was BU? If so:

  1. Are there any times it's acceptable to moan or yell at someone? If her mother hadn't cried, would that have made a difference?
  2. Why is it unacceptable to call one's mother an arsehole if they've done something awful and are refusing to accept responsibility? What is an acceptable description of this kind of behaviour, in your view?
  3. Is it always unacceptable to tell MNetters to eff off? No matter what the provocation? Or is it that you think the provocation didn't warrant the response?

Lastly, re your not feeling anything for a person like this, I'm not sure the OP has asked for your sympathy, just your view on whether she was BU.

slhilly · 21/12/2010 17:40

JCC, the comment about women who've lost their parents is a non sequitur.

EvilTwinsAteRudolph · 21/12/2010 17:40

oneortwo - some bits of the story changed. Like the fact that there was no snow, which turned into the OP being frantic that her DD was out in the snow and ice and therefore likely to get stuck in it/involved in the accident.

I think most posters agree that the OP was NBU to be worried about her DD.

However, if I ever spoke to my mum like that, she would be very unlikely to offer to help me out by babysitting agin. Then again, I would be unlikely to speak to my mum like that as she brought me up with better manners.

pagwatch · 21/12/2010 17:42

""Calling her an arse hole - not ideal"

I am going to sew that into a sampler.

oneortwo · 21/12/2010 17:43

ETAR
was it not repsonses that assumed snow was a possibility?, I thought the OP only said "this weather" - ie. cold and changable and prone to snow. Did the op actually say it was snowing then say it wasn't?

(might be wrong, thread getting long now)

oneortwo · 21/12/2010 17:44

lol @ pagwatch Grin

JimmyChooChoo · 21/12/2010 17:45

OP calls her mother an ARSEHOLE.I feel sick by that.Shame on her.Vile creature.

EvilTwinsAteRudolph · 21/12/2010 17:48

Yesterday at 20.32 - "dad did get called out but told customer the snow prevented him (we have no snow here)"

Today at 14.30 - "so acordding to most of you my mum goes AWOL for 2 1/2 hours in snowy weather at a fucking bowling alley which is reknown for fighting and trouble and i am the one in the wrong because i got cross with her"

So yes, she did.

oneortwo · 21/12/2010 17:54

stand corrected on that one then Wink

slhilly · 21/12/2010 17:57

JCC, how is it better to call someone you don't know a "vile creature" than an "arsehole"?

Particularly as you have reacted to how they talked about their mother, while the OP reacted to how her mother's deeds, not just words?

JimmyChooChoo · 21/12/2010 18:00

Well vile creature isn't as DISGUSTING as an arsehole IMHO.I will not explain why because you should already know.Smile

jessiealbright · 21/12/2010 18:03

Jimmy, how do you think your posts might affect a woman struggling to admit she was a victim of child abuse? By her mother. It does happen, and the victims of female abusers are, in some ways, worse-placed to access help. No, I am not saying that the OP's mother is abusive.

Did the OP call her mother an arsehole to her face, or did she just vent on here? I've forgotten.

Ormirian · 21/12/2010 18:03

What is a 'motherrrrr'?

pagwatch · 21/12/2010 18:07

Jessie
I am a victim of child abuse.
I have not the foggiest what point you are trying to make.

JimmyChooChoo · 21/12/2010 18:07

Well in that case how do you not know I was abused??I mean this can go in huge circles!?!
I am only reacting to the original OP and I still think she is and UB.
Oh and I ca't stand vulgar language against ones own mother..

scurryfunge · 21/12/2010 18:08

jessie, you are doing it again!ffs

Ormirian · 21/12/2010 18:09

" I'm not sure the OP has asked for your sympathy, just your view on whether she was BU."

Oh good. That's simple then. Yes you are being unreasonable. Also rude and aggressive. I suggest you attempt to chill out a little with regards to your child or you may make yourself ill or kill someone (whichever comes first).

oneortwo · 21/12/2010 18:11

"Oh and I ca't stand vulgar language against ones own mother"

why not against anyone? that would be fair.
Mothers are as capable of anyone else of being the one in the wrong or of just being horrible. If someone calles everyone who messes them around an arsehole, then calling their mum an arsehole when she messes them around is not any more unreasonable than doing it to someone else. Why should it be? really why?

jessiealbright · 21/12/2010 18:13

Someone saying "mother" in a very outraged tone.

JimmyChooChoo · 21/12/2010 18:14

Oneortwo-your mother gave you life,protected you etc..'a little bit' different from a random bloke of the steetConfused

oneortwo · 21/12/2010 18:16

I think jessie brought up abuse mothers because JCC brought up dead mothers? Wink

JimmyChooChoo · 21/12/2010 18:18

I never brought up 'dead' mothers...

pagwatch · 21/12/2010 18:18

Why? Really?
Because we should treat those we love better than we treat random people.

If said mother is a monster and deserving of coarse abuse then I wonder that anyone in their right mind would let them babysit?