If you tell me IABU I won't do it, do I take DC's money?

[DorasDilema]

We are really struggling at the moment due to the time of year and DH?s hours been cut back at work.

We have scrimped together every penny to buy the DC a few small Christmas presents.

A distant relative sent me £30 in a card for the DC. Usually when this happens I give it out to the DC and they fritter it away on sweets etc. But as we are struggling so much this year I was thinking of keeping the money because it would help us hugely and mean we can buy a few treats for everyone for Xmas and the children already have presents from us and will gets loads from friends and family over the Christmas period

Trouble is I feel like it?s really wrong! Am I stealing from my children? I am so torn!

Ahh what do I do??

YANBU
We are often in the same situation, and you shouldn't feel bad because how many times through the year have you gone without, for your kids?

They do not miss out, they have presents, they have a christmas...it is for the family.

Money is tight, now when relatives ask what the kids need, we say "money for their swimming lessons", and we pay it into their accounts, and draw it out when the fees are due. They are more than happy with that, and tbh they have toys & clothes and we have no room for more stuff, so it helps everyone.

I know when i was younger i would have enjoyed having crackers and sweets than having a fiver to spend in the pound shop.

But what i find quite shocking is this insistence that a parent would be stealing from their child should they choose to utilise the money as they see fit. Every decision, every penny you have goes to benefit your child in some way, whether directly or indirectly when you are a parent, and the idea that someone would value an ideal or skewed principle over practicality is worrying.

It is more important that your children have a nice day and feel as if they are celebrating christmas to you than getting a pair of shoes that are weather suitable, to me that says you have no reason to be ashamed or worried about using this money for the whole family. In fact, i would be inclined to say to you to use £20.00 for the family and keep ten to get a pair of wellies for yourself.

Have a great xmas Dora, you all deserve it xx

YANBU - use the money to make Christmas the best it can be for your children.

I've done it before. I used birthday money sent for my DD to buy her a winter coat because I had no other money. I felt a coat was more important and I knew the person who sent the money would understand if she were in my position.

Use it.

YANBU

Use it definitely-its for the greater good of the family, i wouldnt hesitate to use it if i were skint at a time like this.

YANBU.

Is it possible to label one of the presents you have already bought your dcs from the person who sent the money?

That way you can use the money for things you still need to buy, and the dcs get a present from the person who sent the money, which they can sent thank you notes for.

The money was given to spend on the kids at Christmas. You ARE planning to spend it on the kids - to make sure they have some treats. If the treats are food instead of presents, that makes no difference. Just send a nice thank you letter to your relative and say how much the children enjoyed the treats you bought them.

(Although tbh I'd spend some of it on getting your shoes repaired - it is NOT good for the kids to have a mother with wet feet - you probably don't want to take them to the park or whatever if your shoes are broken.)

Actually the money IS going to the kids, it's just the choice isn't. Nothing wrong with that, parents make choices on behalf of their children everyday.