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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wear a mid thigh tight velvet dress when i am 39?

317 replies

h20 · 09/12/2010 22:03

Well, thoughts please?

OP posts:
granted · 15/12/2010 12:51

polly - maybe your mum looks really crap in short skirts, but to assume that all other 39 year-olds do bar celebrities is frankly illogical - celebrities do not come from Planet Celebrity, they're just ordinary people.

I bet if you saw me you wouldn't guess I was 39, short skirt or not - but maybe that's because I don't dress like your gran, as you seem to think all 39 year-olds should.

For the record I have a nearlyteenage daughter, who loves my clothes and is more than happy for me to wear short skirts etc. And I would certainly wear a minidress to the soft play, or anywhere else I fancied (well, maybe not in this weather, bit nippy...but in principle, yes).

Do you imagine that 39 year olds just resign themselves to a live of shapeless jeans and fleeces for the school run, or sensible skirts for the office?

Acually, we wear whatever we feel good in, the same as we did when younger.

That's not to say we dress identically to when we were teenagers - I think on the whole, we have a lot better taste, don't feel the desperate need to conform and follow the fashion pack slavishly, in the way teenagers do, and in most cases have more money. We've learnt through trial and error over nearly 30 years of buying our own clothes what looks good on us and what frankly a bit unflattering.

You seem to have this strange idea that wearing short skirts is 'young' or exclusively the province of teenagers. Not clear why - is it because you see short skirts as sexual, and are disturbed by the thought that women old enough to be your mother might be attractive, or have sex? Does Freud come into it in some way?

There are things that I would say are definitely 'young' and that I wouldn't wear at the age of 39 - I wouldn't wear Hello Kitty, say, or over-the-knee socks, or clothes designed to make me look pre-pubescent. Don't think short-skirts fit into that category, really - obviously, you're not old enough to remember the 80s (hardly born then, lol!) - but if you did, you'd know that every woman who wore a skirt suit then combined massive shoulder pads with a v short skirt - eurgh - I remember the look well.

One day, you too will be 39, polly. And maybe you will indeed dress just like your gran.

But if so, that will be your CHOICE - entirely up to you. And maybe your teenage daughters will love it, or maybe they'll plead with you to be a little more hip, please mum!

What your DH, who likes his younger bird, will think about your dress sense - well, let's hope he's joined you in flat cap heaven. :)

saintknickerless · 15/12/2010 14:06

Notice that people are using examples of 39 year olds who look a lot younger than 39. Show me someone who's 39 and looks their age in a short skirt who looks good!
And I don't think Polly said older women who wear short skirts were sluts - just that they are making themselves look like them.

thumbplumpuddingwitch · 15/12/2010 14:15

random women older than 30 in miniskirts - still looking good!

thumbplumpuddingwitch · 15/12/2010 14:17

Saintknickerless - define what a 39 year old should look like. I doubt you can do so accurately as people vary enormously in looks, at whatever age.

pollywollyhadadollycalledmolly · 15/12/2010 14:23

My mum looks good in short skirts, but it's not something that she wears often, it's not called for in her job, or practical at all lol She's a size ten, takes good care of herself, but when it's not appropriate it's not appropriate.

I can assure you i am not disturbed. Aloth seeing some women in thier 40's in a mini skirt truly does disturb me sometimes!!!!

I don't think you can compare celebs to us regular ladies women. They are truly not the same.

Lets not bring my gran into this. She's in her mid 50s and has an incredible dress sense, and quite frankly if you dressed like my Gran you'd be very lucky. She doesn't wear mini skirts, but damn she looks good.

I don't think that women who are in the 40s etc and wear short skirts are sluts, i think they can quite often look like them.

pollywollyhadadollycalledmolly · 15/12/2010 14:25

I do not think some of those random ladies look good!! Some of them do, but they look like the ones that are under 40!!

thumbplumpuddingwitch · 15/12/2010 14:43

pollywolly, you are definitely showing signs of being some random throwback to an era long gone. And, tbh, your opinion of what looks good isn't relevant to me - or probably anyone else of my age/generation.

pollywollyhadadollycalledmolly · 15/12/2010 14:49

Well my opinion was for you. It was for the OP H2O, who asked for it.

pollywollyhadadollycalledmolly · 15/12/2010 14:50

should have said 'well my opinion wasn't for you'.

takethatlady · 15/12/2010 14:50

No polly you're right. Celebrities are truly not the same. They are bred in captivity and have an entirely different genetic make-up to us normal humans. So surprised other people don't realise that!

Who says what 39 'really' looks like? And who knows what a 'slut' looks like? Sorry polly, there aren't any pictures of a 'slut' isn't in my encyclopaedia ... I'll write to them and get them to provide proper objective descriptions of women at certain ages and of certain sexual dispositions so we can banish all this subjective opinion-mongering asap.

thumbplumpuddingwitch · 15/12/2010 14:52

but the OP is of my generation - so I doubt she finds your opinion relevant to her either.

Takethatlady - you are making me

pollywollyhadadollycalledmolly · 15/12/2010 14:59

Well she didn't say that she only wanted people of a similar age to give their opnion, did she?

thumbplumpuddingwitch · 15/12/2010 15:01

no, but I shouldn't think she wanted snippy judgemental comments from someone young enough to be her daughter either.

pollywollyhadadollycalledmolly · 15/12/2010 15:03

So it's all about age again then??

So what if i had said, 'you go for it, you where what ever you want' would my opinion of been vaild then?? Or would she still not want my comments, because i'm younger.

takethatlady · 15/12/2010 15:09

I genuinely think it's not fair to discount your opinion just because of your age polly. But then you think the OP will look like a slut because of her age so you can't have it both ways.

pollywollyhadadollycalledmolly · 15/12/2010 15:17

No, it doesn't work like that lol.

The reverse situation would be of me asking for advice and the OP giving it but me discounting it because of her age. But i wouldn't do that.

takethatlady · 15/12/2010 15:24

You might do if she did it on the grounds that at her age she can get away with all the stuff she thinks you can't. And if she rubbed it in your face.

Oh God, I need to turn the telly off, there's a woman in her 40s wearing a knee-length skirt like she just doesn't care! WHAT is the world coming to?!!!

granted · 15/12/2010 15:40

polly, what is your problem with women over a certain age wearing short skirts, precisely? Is it that you think short skirts are sexual, polly? Does it offend you that women at the outrageously old age of 39 might be sexual? Or how do you see short skirts as denoting youth, precisely? They reveal legs, but so what - we all have legs. Are they worse than shorts, say, and if so, why??

I'm unclear what your views are, and I'm baffled.

So tell us - at what age do you judge that no woman may wear a short skirt any more? (except celebrities, who are apparently, immutably 'different' to us). On which birthday precisely do you wake up, donate all your short skirts to charity/a younger woman and say 'move over grandma, I need to get at the mid-calf length ones'?

Or put it another way, polly - how many more years do have to go until you're 'past it', too? Shock

Tell all - you amuse us.

anonymosity · 15/12/2010 15:45

I'm very bored by this bully thread and I'm going to "hide" it from my list to spare myself. I am 41 by the way, not offended by Polly but find the turgid rants of the harridans too much to bear.

GMajor7SwansASwimming · 15/12/2010 15:52

Off you pop then Smile

ThisIsANiceCage · 15/12/2010 16:06

"Notice that people are using examples of 39 year olds who look a lot younger than 39. Show me someone who's 39 and looks their age in a short skirt who looks good!"

pmsl @ saintknickerless's circular argument! Perfect precis of the thread, SKL!

pollywollyhadadollycalledmolly · 15/12/2010 18:11

I amuse you? Seriously? Well you could say that you amuse me then. :)

You don't think celebs are different from us? Well i don't know about you, but i don't have a nanny or two on hand 24/7, i don't have a make up artist or hair stylist at my beck and call, i also don't have a personal chef or a personal trainer all of the time. I also don't have entire days that i can spend in a gym so that i look amazing on a red carpet etc etc And neither does any one i know.

If i had ever seen someone in their 40s wearing a mini skirt that looked good, then i may change my opinion. But as of yet i have still not seen anyone that does and that is why my opinion is as it is.

granted · 15/12/2010 18:41

But how do you know so definitively what age people are, polly? Do you routinely ask every woman you see in a mini if she is over 40?

I see lots of hideous teenagers dressed in the latest (unflattering) fashions and feel a little sorry for them, but I don't try to tell them what they should or shouldn't wear - that's up to them.

You never did tell us why you have this thing about miniskirts polly - or what age the cut-off point is? Has it gone up to 40 then?

In that case the OP should be just fine.

polly's world - fascinating and weird. :)

Mermaid2 · 15/12/2010 18:49

I'm 37 and have just invested in a pair of leather tailored shorts from Top Shop. I'm sure you will look fabulous in your dress and why not?

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 15/12/2010 18:56

"Notice that people are using examples of 39 year olds who look a lot younger than 39. Show me someone who's 39 and looks their age in a short skirt who looks good!"

I'm reminded of Gloria Steinem's quote when she was told by a journalist that she didn't 'look fifty' - she said, "Yes I do - this is what fifty looks like."

Can we have Gloria Steinem for a chat please?

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