for feeling smug when mothers of school-agers describe themselves as "Full-time mums" or "Housewives"?

[CareeringAlong]

Name change...

Following from the threads about life at home when you don't do voluntary of paid work, although your children are of school-age, I was wondering if anyone else who does work can't help feeling a tad superior? Oh yes, I know I'll be flamed for this, but there it is.

These housewives seem to do all the things that working mothers do (cooking, cleaning, planning etc, etc, etc) but don't have any purpose outside of this. They seem to think that doing the supermarket shopping is a reasonable replacement for a 'real' career. I can't help but feel prejudiced against them.

I'm currently a SAHM as DD is pre-school, but will do paid (and voluntary) work as soon as she's in school. I'm looking forward to building-up my career again and working for the family.

Oh, and before anyone jumps on this, I've always cooked decent-quality meals from scratch, even when I worked v. long hours; my dogs are walked in the early hours; and my house is always clean and tidy. I argue that ironing is for losers, however!

OK. Hard hat on!

at typo

i meant sNug

My youngest child is going to school next September so returning to work or not is on my mind.

I don't think I would feel smug about working if I was struggling with childcare, having to palm kids off during the school holidays when really they want to be home with me, ringing into work when kids are off school sick. Especially if you are planning a return to a real career and all that entails.

Are you sure returning to work is going to be the picnic you think it is? Have you got a fantastic childcare already sorted?

I assume the SAHMs feel their kids are getting a better upbringing and feel smug about that of course.

chocoholic - way to go.

Put down the op's smugness by er....being smug.

Thank God you are so superior to all those working women out there.

CareeringAlong - will you please give us some 'clue' about your wonderful profession and how 'easy' it will be to slot back into it whenever you choose - I wish you luck.

I noticed your post scurryfunge - It strikes me that far from "having it all" some working mothers also have to "do it all", which is obviously unfair. Is that what you meant?

@JamieLeeCurtis

I can understand that - my wife does some volunteering as well and, being volunteering, there's no pressure from the boss, no worries about the DCs being sick, and no worries about care for the school holidays. And she is finding the volunteering that she does is incredibly rewarding.

My two are only 3 and 2 - Im counting the days until they start school - i love them dearly but I'm really looking frorward to doing naff all! Might start studying, meet friends and family for long lunches, take up hobbies, spend more time with my pets, i keep threatening to start going to a gym but that sounds like too much hard work.

Dh doesnt earn a fantastic amount, but we dont hanker for expensive things either so it doesnt really matter.

I have every intention of becoming one of the women you state in the op and i cant bloody wait!

Except for going to the supermarket - Ocado delivery darling!

Why on earth can't mothers do what suits them and their families without feeling guilty?
I don't understand any of this thread at all. You just can't win can you?
Smugness is a nasty trait in anyone. Anyone who feels smug needs to get a life and grow up!

I am jealous as hell of SAHM's and I don't even work full time, or need holiday childcare, and am still exhausted. The only thing that annoys me is if someone claims that being at home with no pre-schoolers is 'the hardest job in the world'. Fortunately, hardly anyone here has said that.

For all your smugness OP, it is rather lovely to be well off enough to not have to work outside the home though isn't it?

JLS- yes, that was what I meant.

JLC ![GRIN]

busted!

Don't you think the ones who can be really smug are us part timers? I mean don't we have the best of both worlds?

Except, as I already mentioned, we do have enough income so that I don't need to work for money.

MrMister, I would consider voluntary activities to be working.

definitely

yes Figgyrolls! You get to feel guilty that you aren't devoting enough time to two things

I (have to) work part time and have a clingy 2yo. Yep I feel smug as buggery every morning when I drop her off somewhere and hear her sobbing as I get in the car. Puts a real spring in my step. If we have another or when dd goes to school I will have to give up work. My job is too far away and my new bosses are bastards. I can't bloody wait.

What a shame that you feel that working is the only thing that will give you a purpose in life, and that people who SAH after their children are in school have no purpose. Basically that is bollocks.

Like psycho I have no choice and am unable to do paid work but love that I can be around for my dc after school and be involved in their school a lot. Purpose isn't something you can only find by having a 'job'. Look elsewhere.

RockinRobin - you know I was joking, right?

I totally understand that if your job is crap then it's really really hard.

I love being a SAHM and I know my dh appreciates his easier home life. Hot bath and hot dinner as soon as he comes in the door. Ds is already bathed, jammies on, homework done. All is calm.

We have a friend of ds after school a fair bit. His parents have split and his mum works full time. The little boy is utterly miserable. He clearly is unsettled with the split but the mother doesn't appear to notice, or perhaps she is too busy. She may need the money, in which case it is hard but understandable.

My mother was a SAHM with four kids. I guess it is what is familiar. I do some freelance work to suit my self and my hours. I would have no problem whatsoever filling in my days though. Only boring people get bored

Perhaps OP you will be the exception to the rule - ?No one on their deathbed ever says they wish they had spent more time at the office?

I sit at home every day and watch Homes Under The Hammer. Love it purely to see what attire Martin has on. The school phoned me to collect dd one day at 10 to collect dd as she was feeling sick, I was mightly hacked off I tell you.

Seriously, I am a sahm through choice, my dh is often away, we live miles away from my family and I have a mental block thing about leaving my dc with anyone apart from very very close friends or family. I do work at the local school as a lunchtime supervisor but that is only for 1 hour a day, so I don't really count it.

I worked full-time from the day I stepped off the school bus (o'levels done and not yet 16) until I was in my late 30s.

I left my job and had children, I didn't know i wasn't going back to my job, but stay at home to care for my children was what i realised I wanted to do.

It's one thing to choose a different path, but to announce your smugness at your choices and demean others makes you an empty shallow twunt.

If coming across as such was today's aim, you have indeed succeeded, well done, you can tick that off your list of stuff to do today...

You do have a list don't you?

If so please add, "now fuck right off" to it and

TICK

Mmmm think you get the point about me collecting dd