...to leave 17mo DD alone in the house... (its not as bad as it sounds!)

[deepheat]

OK. I'm babysitting tonight while DW is having a well deserved night out. We have friends who live directly opposite us across the road and its a small road. Our baby monitor works perfectly in their house. They suggested I pop over for a drink. Mentioned this to DW and it was an absolute no-no.

Thing is, I would be about the same distance from DD as if I were at the bottom of our garden. If she woke, I could be back within 30 seconds. Is it so bad? There's no risk of a fire or anything like that so I don't really see what the issue is beyond the psychological difference of being out of the property.

I should add that I agreed with DW that I would stay in tonight and so will not go out but I'm curious as to what people think as a matter of principle (possibly for future reference).

By the way, they have a DS and no baby monitor so couldn't come over here.

Is this the wind up chappy from last week-who didn't like the McCanns (who incidently said they were no further than the equivalent of the bottom of their garden?)
If not sounds like OP doesn't need to go out for a drink..

Asteria - you do realise that you are about to by lynched for that, don't you? I can almost hear the collective heaving of irate MN bosoms..

sorry

i need to get out more

(I also have a plentiful supply of 'sense of humour' for anyone who has had a bypass and needs to borrow some)

oooh - sloe gin! my favourite

Have skipped most of this but I see the OP thinks it is fine partly because the baby monitor has been tried some time ago and worked. Have you checked that everyone in the area doesn't have a baby monitor? If you were mad enough to think going across the road was ok because you were taking the baby monitor then you need to knock on the door of everyone nearby who uses one too.

My neighbours baby monitor occasionally interfered with mine so I heard their child not mine. Didn't realise until I heard them talking (and they weren't in my dc's bedroom). Their house was about 25m from mine. It didn't happen every day either.

Blimey, you lot.

He already said HE IS NOT GOING OUT NOW. (That's for you booyhoo)

Up until your post, the op had only written the op! How did he come back & say he wasn't doing it??

Chipping, I think it was school who realised the child was left alone. Regardless, the relevance is that even at 4yrs, reasonably sensible child, social services will have a ball if you get found out and anything goes wrong. Everyone who lost a child in a fire/ accident at home probably had 'it won't happen to me itis'. Very foolish. Why take any risks when completely unneccessary, with something as precious as your own child . I just think its selfish and irresponsible.

surely looking after your own kids while your partner is out is just parenting chipping?

different - he isn't going out tonight (he'd be back by now, anyway!). But the suggestion in his OP is "for future reference".

Let's not lynch the poor OP for using the incorrect term. Maybe his DW gives him a fiver to "buy something nice" when she gets home as a thank you?

differentnameforthisUp until your post, the op had only written the op! How did he come back & say he wasn't doing it??

He said he wasn't doing it in the OP

differentname - he said it in his OP.

captaincroc -

I didn't ask how anyone knew she was home alone, that was someone else.

Most of the children who have died in house fires have had parents at home.

This is the law:

There is no legal age limit for leaving a child on their own, but it is an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk. Parents can be prosecuted if they leave a child unsupervised ?in a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury to health? (Children and Young Person?s Act)

They would be very pushed to say he had left this child 'in a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury to healthy' when he was 10 meters away from his front door with a monitor.

I wouldn't do it, simply because I wouldn't relax, but I don't think it's a terrible thing to do. It is far worse to leave a 4 year old, home alone, awake, roaming the house while you take other children to school - not at all comparable.

booyhoo - yes it is if you want to say 'I can't come out, I'm parenting on my own tonight' you feel free

My parents left me ALL ALOOOONE in the house when I was 2.7 I'll have you know. It didn't rain hammers or anything.
ANd they did have the not unreasonable excuse that my mum had gone into labour with my DB at 3am and the hospital was literally at the end of the road, so Dad drove Mum there, pretty much dumped her in reception and fled back to check I hadn't chewed through the bars of my cot.
I think in general it's a matter of reasonable risk assessment (rather than horsehair-tampon thinking that it's TEWWIBLE to ever consider enjoying yourself once you become a parent) - and knowing your own kids. I left DS sleeping in the tent while I went to the bar last summer because DS sleeps like the dead when tired - and also, on a closed campsite with friends all around and a clear line of site to the clubhouse, if he did wake up he would know where I was.

Wish I got paid for babysitting. I'd be a millionare by now.

SGB - all the parents in our street (cul-de-sac) used to have parties leaving us kids in bed asleep, every 20 mins or so someone would go around listening at all the doors to see if any of the kids were up/crying. Not one of them had a monitor

or a millionaire and I'd have a dictionary and everything.

but then a single parent is always parenting on their own so are they always babysitting?

btw. I'm not taking this anywhere near as serious as my posts appear. i just find the whole ide a bit peculiar.

booy that is why I'd be very wealthy indeed.

Well I haven't read the rest of the posts, but if your dw is out, presumably drinking, why on earth are you contemplating having a drink?- you do realise that that would mean both your child's parents would have had a drink, and therefore in the case of an emergency (which whilst highly unlikely, is still very likely) neither of you would be in a fit state to handle it. And sounds like your neighbours wouldn't be able to help out as they're drunk too.

I'm with captaincroc, every time I see on the news that something bad has happened to a child, I always think, 'bet they weren't expecting that'; you HAVE to be prepared, at all times, for every eventuality. Or you're just selfish.

LOL - no, but if you are a LP people don't expect you to be able to go out at the drop of a hat and they know you will be home with the kids....

I just don't understand why people get their knickers in such a wad over a word that denotes you can't go out because you are solely responsible for the kids on a specific night.

i think chipping it got people's backs up because it was a man saying it. you know the way tehre is that stereotype of the 'lazy' dad who doesn't really parent but thinks he's teh dogs wotsits when he lets her indoors go out for the night

not my stereotype. the term babysitting for your own dc just never has made sense to me.

Fuck me, I was hoping for a little light relief to wind down for bed after another, very heavy thread. And here is Friday night lynch mob MN at its best.

YANBU OP. Has noone heard of smoke alarms?