...to leave 17mo DD alone in the house... (its not as bad as it sounds!)

[deepheat]

OK. I'm babysitting tonight while DW is having a well deserved night out. We have friends who live directly opposite us across the road and its a small road. Our baby monitor works perfectly in their house. They suggested I pop over for a drink. Mentioned this to DW and it was an absolute no-no.

Thing is, I would be about the same distance from DD as if I were at the bottom of our garden. If she woke, I could be back within 30 seconds. Is it so bad? There's no risk of a fire or anything like that so I don't really see what the issue is beyond the psychological difference of being out of the property.

I should add that I agreed with DW that I would stay in tonight and so will not go out but I'm curious as to what people think as a matter of principle (possibly for future reference).

By the way, they have a DS and no baby monitor so couldn't come over here.

I don't actually think it's that unreasonable in itself - I've left DS sleeping in the tent while camping, and gone to the bar, no harm done. But the key point here is that your DW doesn't like the idea so you would be being unreasonable if you did it - don't worry, I've read the thread and know you are just discussing the issue.

We know he's not going. He's here. With us. Mu-ha-ha-ha.

Should we set limits on our garden length??

Babysitting. Your own child?

OFFS

HystericalMum - what is the correct way of describing being at home alone with your children of an evening when your partner is out socialising - in one word?

Until you can come up with one - take your biscuit and store it somewhere.

LOL at storing the biscuit!

There should be a biscuit tin emoticon too - so we can tell people where to put their biscuits!

He's not babysitting, he's 'on-duty'.

I'll have that jammy dodger.

My personal fear is for some reason the door lock malfunctioning and you being locked out of your own house with DD inside. Its simply not worth the risk for a drink. And you could only have one so why bother.

LOL at 'on duty', scara...real Jammy Dodgers have a heart in the middle. But those Fox's ones have a circle (and icing). [I'm a biscuit expert]

I'm sorry deepheat but as a healthcare professional who deals with social services fairly regularly, the term for leaving children unattended while you socialise is the category 'neglect', they would have a field day. If you read the newspapers, see the TV lots of children are killed or seriously hurt in housefires every week, the risk is not minimal. Why take the risk? for the sake of one night. Sorry I would still use imbecile as a descriptor. My own parents chose to do similar as well when I was a child, they often set the chip pan alight. I went downstairs when they were out and saw they had left the fire on in the living room and had to wait up until they came home - I was terrified.

cerealqueen - you could only have one - umm who made that little rule up? FFS Your perfectly functioning door lock could malfunction..... or really FFS it's a wonder people like you even breathe 'just in case' something happens! All he'd have to do is break a window for crying out loud and he was going for the company not the drink - he has beer at home.

On duty - god it gets better by the minute.

CaptainCroc - I suggest you speak to some SW people about these specifics - I doubt any of them would go into heart failure over it. It's not like he was going to leave the kid at home while he went into town. I'm sorry your parents were neglectful - it doesn't mean the OP is.

'on duty' - hilarious!

Once, when I was out of an evening and DD was little little and asleep in the cot; Dh took the baby monitor with him to the chip shop at the end of our road! He was probably gone for fewer then 10 minutes but I did feel quite unsettled by it.

On the other hand I do leave her locked in the parked car (asleep and/or awake) if I need to get something from the shop quickly. I know from mumsnet I should expect my car to spontaneously combust, possibly because of my actions.

Also I have a friend who lives in a converted-house flat who used to use her neighbours as baby sitters when she went out - they would stay in their flat whilst her DD was asleep in hers. I don't think they used a monitor.

All just data points, but I suppose it's risk evaluation vs awful dreadfulness if something happened.

Fucking hell - I've missed a good one here!

Chipping I have recently known of a family where a four year old child was left home because she was ill while her mum took the other dc to school only a 100m away. Social workers did get very het up....believe me.

How did the social workers know, Captain?

I assume croc, that the child was not safe in a cot, asleep & the mother was more than the 20 meters away without a monitor. SO how is this relevant?

Another one where people reply without reading all the replies!

Deepheat, I just wouldn't. There is always a risk of fire. Also, what if someone broke in? Even with a baby monitor, you might not hear someone who was being deliberately quiet. And if something did happen you would never forgive yourself.

The babysitting comments arise generally because some men refer to it as babysitting when they are looking after the dc but not when they are out and their dw is in so it has become a bit of a touchy subject on MN!

I have had drinks (two small G&T's - not a bottle of jagermeister) with my neighbours who lived in an adjoining cottage in a remote 7 house village/hamlet with no through traffic and left DS in bed, but I did feel unsettled and kept returning to check him regularly.

Suffice to say that DS did not burst into flames, the dog didn't turn rabid and eat him, the tv didn't combust and the roof remained intact. However I didn't really relax and I haven't done it since. I rarely use babysitters as DS is more than happy to be stowed in a bedroom and sleeps like a log.

It's a tricky one...

You are lucky, Asteria! My ds4 will barely settle in his own room, at the moment!

YABU, If you take it in turns to go out can't you just wait your turn then that way your child won't have to be left alone?

I wouldn't do it and glad that you aren't either! If I am in again on a friday night so can everyone else!

with the right amount of brandy mine will settle anywhere...

I wouldn't have a problem with doing it.

Obviously just like you if my partner wasn't happy with it then I wouldn't.