to be get annoyed at being called Mrs..?

[bubbles22]

I have always kept my own name and so use Ms, although I am married.

This means I am Ms X, DH is Mr Y and my boys surname is Y too.

It always causes confusion and I am for ever being called Mrs X. This makes me sound like I am desperate to cling to a previous married name!

What do other ms's do when you get called Mrs? Do you ignore or correct? It sounds pedantic yet it feels really annoying. If I wanted to be a Mrs I would have become a Mrs Y.

AIBU to pick people up on it?

frgr - why change your name to incorporate your husbands' name if you are then going to insist on Ms?

Because it is no one's business and a secret ItalianLady!

I've never come across a woman using anything but Ms (or Dr or Professor) professionally. I've worked in the City and in academia/research. Ms is the default for everyone including the female students, and I seriously can't think of ever seeing Miss or Mrs on a list of names or on someone's ID card or on address labels. In every day communication, obviously, most people just use first names.

I'm always amazed on all these threads to see so many women say they use Miss/Mrs, because I just don't ever see that in RL. I guess it depends on the workplace/sector? Or maybe they use different titles in their personal life, I don't know .

I'm a Mrs but hate it (not being married, just the possessive pronoun). Unless referring to us as a couple I always use Ms or avoid any title. I had trouble in a shop once because my credit card has only initials and last name, no title - odd :-o

"People are lazy, and they can't be bothered to make the mental leap to change what is the norm', because they just don't care enough, even though the OP obviously does" >>>>Dominatrix.

Like you you mean?

We obviously move in very different circles Ephiny -I just don't know many women who are Ms in RL and students tend to be Miss. When I was young and single I was firmly Miss-no way would I be Ms.

What kind of students?

University students as far as I've noticed rarely use titles; I've certainly never heard anyone using 'Miss' - they're far too keen to be grown-up and us Ms!

With you 100% on this one. I am Ms X. My husband is Mr Y. I hate getting called either Mrs X (which is my mother) or Mrs Y (which is even worse). I correct people but not if it's just a one off in a store or over the phone. But if asked, I always say my name is Ms X. Given I am about to have a baby who will have my husband's surname, I know this is going to be even worse now and I will definitely get Mrs Y when the child goes to school. I am contemplating changing my name to Ms X-Y just to have part of the same surname as the baby.

I think that students use their first names, as I do, and are not all hung up on status and titles-they would think it ridiculous to fuss. People can call me whatever they like, but if asked I am Mrs. I don'tknow why I am posting-it is all so trivial it isn't worth bothering about!! The only people, that I know, who have hang ups about it and get insistant are the ones called Ms. They are very aggressive, whereas if someone calls me Ms I just answer to it in the same way I would answer to Miss. I really don't care if people know my marital status-or even if they get wrong.

'they' pisces?

You can speak for all of 'them', can you?

Yes I meant university students - not so much what they call themselves in everyday interactions (obviously yes they use first names) but how their names appear in official records etc. Same when I worked in finance, obviously you go by your first name most of the time, but when your payslip or any letters arrive, they're always addressed to Ms, and application forms usually only have Mr or Ms as the options! So it just seemed like the normal thing to me.

As for friends and non-work acquaintances, I'm not really sure what they use as you don't really address people by their title socially do you? My mum and MIL both definitely use Mrs but then that's a generational thing, Ms would have seemed alien to them.

No-not all! I think that I am too provincial-perhaps you have to live in the city to be bothered and not be a country bumpkin!!! Will leave you all too it! (happily being Mrs in a country village)

I have never seen a form that only gives Mr and Ms but I would change it to Mrs.

Sorry but this thread just keeps reminding me of the Dick Emery character who was a late middle aged woman who used to wander up to random men and enquire "Are you married?" and thereafter insist they call her "Miss!".

I'm sure they could do a comedy sketch now. I think that whole thing is pointless-it hardly ever comes up e.g. I would introduce myself anywhere as Pisces or, if the occasion called for it, Pisces Moon-it would never occur to me to say Mrs Moon or Ms Moon. Even in the doctors the other day when it was my turn I was called as Pisces Moon-who actually uses it-except on paper?

YABU - I work in a school and all the kids call me Miss when I'm Mrs - it doesn't change anything, I am still married.

Why on earth would you choose to have a different name to your kids? Sometimes it's unavoidable but I really don't get it when you have a choice. I really don't mean to upset you but I find the thought of having a different surname really upsetting.

Also, I think most people assume Ms means divorced - asked my friends and they thought the same. Cleary I'll anger people but hey, why ask if you don't want an honest answer?

EPHINY - you must live a sheltered life to have not met people called MRS or MISS - I know many people from different sectors, ages and countries and all use Mrs and Miss - UK, America, Canada and Australia!

YABU. I actually hate the term MS it just sounds like nothing to me.

Tori - people who think it means divorced are missing the point by a country mile. The whole reason for Ms it that it does NOT denote marital status - it is the female equivalent of Mr.

Anyone who thinks it means 'divorced' is either woefully misinformed or thick.

Actually I probably do know plenty of people who use Miss or Mrs, I just don't know that they use it IYSWIM, it just doesn't come up in everyday conversation. It's just really at work that you see titles written down, and then it tends to be Ms in my personal experience.

Not offended or angered by people having different experiences/opinions, though I am a little surprised to see so many 'traditional' attitudes here!

How is sexism trivial? I don't understand some of the attitudes expressed here.
Or that if people don't "get" something, we should just give up on trying to change anything or educate others.
Loved the comment that Ms in schools is a waste of time as the DCs don't understand it - er, aren't we supposed to be helping them understand things they don't get? That's what I think they pay me for anyway!
I do think there is a city/professional/age type divide here, as well as the more obvious feminist/non-feminist.
Tori I think you are OTT and it's hard to get where you're coming from.

Excellent point about the purpose of schools, iggii.

My kids have never been bothered by my surname differing to theirs - then again dh and I have a very loving supportive relationship, so there is no reason for anyone in our family to feel insecure about us sticking together.

Same could not be said for my parents who fought like alley cats - and despite conforming to all the social norms of changing names and titles had a shit marriage - not that anyone knew outside the family it wasn't much compensation to know they both had the same name as me In fact my wish was that my parents divorce so that they would bloody well stop fighting - labels mean very little!

Children understand that people should be able to choose to be called whatever they want to be called without anyone 'educating them'. Anyone 'educating me' that I should be called Ms is going to make me more determined than ever not to use it!
Start telling a DC the reason for Mrs, Miss and Ms and their eyes will glaze over and they will still call everyone Miss! No one will be remotely bothered except the people who want to be called Ms. I always let Miss pass, they never use Ms but I am quite often called Mummy as a slip of the tongue.
Teachers can be called whatever they like so it is a free choice to be Mrs or Miss.