to be get annoyed at being called Mrs..?

[bubbles22]

I have always kept my own name and so use Ms, although I am married.

This means I am Ms X, DH is Mr Y and my boys surname is Y too.

It always causes confusion and I am for ever being called Mrs X. This makes me sound like I am desperate to cling to a previous married name!

What do other ms's do when you get called Mrs? Do you ignore or correct? It sounds pedantic yet it feels really annoying. If I wanted to be a Mrs I would have become a Mrs Y.

AIBU to pick people up on it?

Sorry to harp on but if your students eyes are glazing over, you're just not doing it right!
Lots of excuses being made here over such a reasonable request.

Just to be clear for those who don't like the title Ms....how about you don't call yourself it? Youother people. Not same.

HTH.

I don't care either way. I still use Miss, sometimes Mrs and sometimes Ms. Makes no difference to me.

I have also used Colonel and Sister and Dame but not all at once.

I used to not mind Mrs or even when I was referred to as Mrs Husbands name, but found being called Mrs Husbands Initial Husbands Surname disrespectful.

Now my title is Dr but do you think that stops MIL and other family members calling me Mrs Husbands Initial Husbands Surname, so wrong on all three counts .

Anyway YANBU to mention it to people. It's a sign of disrespect to carry on using what you've pointed out you dislike and doesn't hurt to make other people think about something before they say it

I always call people Ms if they request it, it would be rude not to-I am just objecting to people thinking that my request to be called Mrs hasn't been thought out properly or is misguided or an insult to feminists or that I am the property of my husband or all the other reasons. I choose Mrs because I prefer it and I think Ms a horrible term-that should be enough and I don't need 'educating'! If Ms was universally liked Miss and Mrs would have died out by now.

Nobody once said you can't be mrs. Be what you want, YOU were the one going on about md beong silly and unpronounceable.

Having said I bought all the appliances in our house, DH actually bought the fridge and John Lewis ennobled him by picking 'Sir' from the drop down menu. He is a bit of a socialist but I think very secretly somewhere within he actually rather likes seeing that on the warranty renewal invitations.

Bless.

I love ephiny's point, I rarelye ever use a title, but if I am pushed to tick a box I go for Mrs.

However, at work I have never ever used a title, and my surname is HalfofHusbandsName (could not face spelling a double barrelled name 3 times a day). Nearly all correspondence in my industry is addresssed to , and then dear . I love the simplicity of it, and I am mildly amused by the archaity when I see a "Mr" or a "Ms" whilst at work, unless it is referring to the general public.

I wouldn't be surprised if most titles die out by the end of this century.

I have a complicated double barrelled name about once a week after spelling it for the umpteenth time, I get asked was my maiden name the first half of it, and relying no, this is all DH's name, my maiden name is completely different, I slightly regret changing the blardy thing.

That is my finding LeQueen and people are trying to tell me that students are bothered. People are trying to tell me that Mrs is outdated ,Bonnie-someone even said that school DCs need to be 'educated' so they know the difference. My experience is that anyone who insists on Ms is going to be overbearing and aggressive on issues.
It is a complete non issue with me-I am only posting because the Ms people are so sure they are right for everyone.
A problem with women seems to be that once they make a decision on anything-methods of parenting, type of education, whether to work or stay at home and they immediately assume that it is the 'right' decision for everyone rather than the 'right' one for them.
Men don't have these insecurities-if there was a different name for married or unmarried I don't think they would give a hoot and they certainly wouldn't bother what others did.

Make it rather difficult to have as debate when the "Mrs" camp can have a strong pov on being called Mrs (and there have been many on this thread) but when the "Ms" camp express a pov on what they choose to be called they are then seen as overbearing and agressive.

I am the only Ms I know and probably one of the few not to take my dh's name - I say probably because I don't enquire what my friends like to title themselves with.

Most of them aren't aware that I haven't taken my dh's name - they make an assumption and because I rarely have an occasion to use my second name in their presense it takes a while before the penny drops. Last time a friend's dh discovered I hadn't taken dh's name he was almost offended on behalf of my dh, I didn't attack his dw's choice to take his name or be titled as Mrs but he was very vocal and agressive about my choice.

There always seems to be a general annoyance at people who choose to fly in the face of tradition....people almost take offense at the suggestion of change.

I'm sure there are plenty of mouthy people on both sides of the debate but as usual those who shout the loudest are seen by some to represent the majority....make assumptions about people based on their chosen title but just be aware as I'm sure you are that assumptions are just that.

Good point.

Ms Posters "would you mind terribly calling me my chosen title of Ms. Thanks muchly"

Mrs Posters " you're all a certain type, overbearing and strident, and its such a silly title, it will never catch on, mainly because we are too rude to actually use it and will make sure its doesn't work. And whats wrong with being married and being called Mrs? Bloody feminists"

Pices you are still talking utter utter nonsense. there is no suggestion ever that ms is right for everyone, just for those who want it. YOU are the one being very rude about other peoples choices. Seriously, what posts are you reading? You must have made up loads in your head.
Its about choice. Why do you have such a problem with other people making a different choice than you? And for such a non-issue you have an awful lot to say on the subject.

pisces, the reason I get annoyed is you are speaking with great authority about what 'everyone' does and thinks and what the 'few' who use Ms think. You keep saying that 'students don't care' - now, are you a student? If so, you know precisely as much about one student's thoughts on the subject as I do. If not, you know less.

It's the attitude that you are speaking from behind a large survey of the topic that makes your posts so irritating. Call yourself Mrs; fine. Just don't try to speak for everyone else while you're doing it.

I am not a student, but since my DCs are that age I know lots -I also work with a lot of student teachers-they have a free choice and they are always Miss. There is absolutely no pressure to be Miss.
I am quite happy for people to be Ms and not Mrs-my point is that those who are Mrs will quite happily accept Ms or Miss-it is those who elect for Ms who make an issue of it and insist that it is Ms.
I only take exception when we get statements such as school children should be 'educated' into what it means. They only need to know that they have a free choice of Mrs, Miss or Ms-they can work out their preference for themselves.
LeQueen put everything that I wanted to say in a much better way, so I will stop posting.

Piecesmoon 19.55
"I have never seen a form that only gives Mr and Ms but I would change it to Mrs."

and then later the next day...

Piecesmoon 11.56
"those who are Mrs will quite happily accept Ms or Miss-it is those who elect for Ms who make an issue of it and insist that it is Ms".

Bit of as contradiction don't you think, you weren't willing to accept Ms on a form the day before?

I'm a student, we are all Ms. My sons teachers are mostly Ms. Most women I know are Ms.

Because we are sensible modern women who do not need to be defined by our marital status. And anyone who has a problem with that can fuck the fuck off.

In RL if someone calls me Ms I let it pass-on a form I would choose to put Mrs-even if not a box for it -so no contradiction.
The fact that most of your son's teachers are Ms proves that it is a complete free choice and there is no pressure to be Miss. I wouldn't like to count the years my DSs, collectively, have been in education and we have had 2 Ms in all that time and I have worked, in all my many schools, with less than you can count on one hand. It is a free choice-and so it should be.

I don't care what they call me.

What really bothers me is when they absolutely insist that I give them a title.

they ask for my name and I reply Lollipop Shoes.

they say: "is that Miss or Mrs Shoes?"

I say: "I don't care"

They say "well I need to put something down"

I say: "well you choose one then, I don't care"

They say: "I can't do that, you need to tell me"

I say: "well, if you're asking for my marital status... I was married to Mr. Shoes but we got divorced, I now live with Mr. Boots as if we were married but we're not actually married and I don't use his name so you can use Mrs if you like, or Miss if you like or Ms if that suits you better - I don't care"

at which point they normally say "I'll just put Ms then"

so they have actually made the decision that they have already told me they're not allowed to do.

Am pondering on next time telling them "Mr"

Then what the fucking fuck are you talking about pices? Thats all we have been saying throughout the thread.

I give up.

If you keep on long enough people generally give up!!!! It never occurs to me to give a title anyway-I give first and second name.

I'm a student and have been using Ms for quite a few years now. What the other female students on my course are I don't know, I just know them by their names.

AFAIC it's a choice for each woman to make. If they want to be Mrs then that's fine. I want to be known as Ms (when I bother to use a title) and that too should be respected. Really people should find out what someone wants to be known as and then use that title (or just their name if that's what they prefer). It's rude to keep on insisting using another title to the one that the person has asked you to use.