To not replace something that i havent seen

[Ray81]

We went on holiday back in August and my sister who is 18 looked after my house.
She had a party which she didnt ask to have and evidently one of her friends left a Ipod docking station here.

She asked me for it last week and i told her there was nothing like that in my house (although didnt know what i was looking for tbh). Now i had a real blitz when i got back from hols and was alittle worried i had thrown it out by mistake, i do tend to just go into auto pilot when clearing out. I said to her perhaps i had and thinking it would be £20 or so that i would replace it. I only said that because i couldnt be sure i hadnt thrown it away ifswim. Well she has come back to me saying it is £350 and showing me what it looked like. I havent seen it and have looked ALL over my house.

I havent got that amount of money and i dont think i should replace something that for one i honestly cannot remember seeing and 2 that wasnt my responsibility in the first place.

So AIBU to say NO i am not replacing it. surely if something is that expensive you shouldnt even take it out of your own home and be that careless with it. Whats to say he hasnt left it somewhere else and my house was the last time he could remember seeing it.

(I like Shongololo's response, concise and to the point!)

I'd also be tempted to tell her I didn't want to hear the words "docking station" ever afuckinggain, or indeed see her face but I'm arsey like that.

how about "As it was apparently brought into my house with neither my knowledge or consent I have no obligation to replace it."

Reality's email is just right.

(let us know how that goes down with her. WHat a cow. )

"No. I know for a fact that when I arrived home there was no docking station in my house. I have nothing else to say".

Save the reply and every time she texts you, send her exactly the same response. Disengage. It takes two people to have an argument - refuse to participate anymore.

How about 'No. Subject is now closed'.

If she's stupid enough to ask again then totally ignore.

She is such a cheeky bitch

Hi all, well i havent actualy responded to sis yet but another example of how my family feel like they can tell me what to do.

Yesterday was realy pissed off so posted on FB (i know big sin) nothing specfic about this in particular just that i felt like a mug. I get a message from sis (24) who hadnt got involved til now saying " if this is about what i think it is you need to talk to a certain someone and not post it all over fb for all to see"
I said " well i havent actualy said what it is about have i" and got back " no maybe not but it will get people asking questions and you are nearly 30 yrs old and need to stop playing games" WTF does that mean, i didnt respond and just deleted her messages. My post could have actualy been about anything and when one of my friends asked i just said "just venting is all". However i cannot beleive that my sis thinks she has the right to actualy tell me what i can and cant write on my fb jesus.

i probably shouldnt have posted anything but also dont think anyone has the right to tell me what i can and cant write

I just skimmed though the thread but seem to agree with the majority. DO NOT REPLACE. Maybe your DS has left it behind and someone else from the-party-she-had-at-yours-without-asking-you-if-she-actally-was-allowed-to has taken it. In any case I quite like marriednotdead no nonsese approach.

Ray - put them on limited profile or block 'em altogether.

I agree with your sister that posting on facebook where family members can see is isn't going to help and will just inflame things.
Why are you scapegoated by your family?
I see it's your stepdad not your dad but are your sisters full sisters or just half sisters or step sisters?
Your family all sound horrid and I wouldn't be talking to them on facebook, phones or anything else. I'd send a letter or text like reality suggested and then bar incoming calls from that particular sister and not speak to her more until she apologises.
You sound overinvolved in your family at the moment. Step back from them. As you never saw the docker it is nothing to do with you. It's sad your mum isn't taking your side here, at least you have your own family to concentrate on. I'd stay clear of your extended family until the new year at least.

DO NOT REPLACE IT!!!!!

You didnt give permission for the party, and if anything its the sisters problem!

Tell her to jog on, and her friends and not have a party at your home again!

I have read your thread and I agree with the others that you family have behaved appallingly. One of my thoughts is that perhaps the owner of the dock was trying to get money for something that hadnt actually been stolen, perhaps cooking up a plan with a friend ~(not suggesting your sister btw). Either way, it isnt your responsibility.

But a couple of things are shouting out at me. Firstly for all you say that you are sick of your controlling family and SF treating you differently from your younger sister. But yet you still seem (until now anyway) to have a heavy involvement with them, your sister looking after your house for example, so perhaps they assume because you havent told them to do one before now, that you dont mind their behaviour? I think that distancing yourself is a good idea, but do think through the house move. It is a big thing to do when its for the best of reasons, and I am worried you may regret an impetuous decision.

Also, I do think that perhaps it might be an idea to step away from the internet for a while regarding this. Whilst I agree that what you post on FB is up to you, if you have family on there they will naturally assume that you are having a dig at them. I would be peed off at the messages, but thats why I no longer have family on there but people who I genuinely dont see and like to keep up with. Posting anything on FB will be misconstrued by someone determined to see the worst in you, so perhaps you should give yourself a break from there or atleast from posting status updates.

Dont enter into any correspondence with them especially if it is abusive. Be polite when you *must answer them, but dont be drawn into mud slinging, so you maintain your dignity.

I really hope it works out for you, it sounds like you are long overdue for a break from these people.

Oh, just had a thought, have you checked the local pawn shops (we buy your gold, cash converters etc) to see if your ring is there? If it is then the police can seize it.

Hi all,

Ok have still not responded to sister, some more background before sis was 18i took out a mobile contract for her and she has been paying it no problem. So i get a message today saying

Ray i am cancelling my direct debit for the contract tomorrow unless i hear from you to sort this out once and for all, you have til tomorrow morning to contact me.

So i need to send her a message on fb a very strongly worded message dont i, i cant by text i have far to much to say. something like realitys yes?

What a cheeky mare, how the hell do you put up with it. I'd be fooking ragin at her.

Is there anything you can do about the contract, like cancelling it altogether maybe.

What an ungrateful .....beep.....

Get that contract cancelled! And def send that mesasge! Cheeky madam!

You can phone the mobile phone company and say it has been lost, they will lock the sim so she can't make any calls. Then send her a fb message. Can't believe she would do this

Reality How shall i word the contract thing. Was thinking

I will not be black mailed by you when you have abused my trust so greatly and therefore i will be cancelling the mobile contract myself.

Your family is awful.

Do not respond to your sister's threat, however, do cancel her mobile phone contract ASAP. She is 18 and can organise her own mobile phone or, at the very least, arrange for a PAYG.

She needs to grow up.

Transfer the contract into her name or cancel it completely.

Why is my heart pounding about sending her this message. I know why because i have NEVER stood up for myself before thats why.

Should i put something in there about not wishing to discuss it further?