to think women taking

[waterbaby100]

their husbands surname when they get married is a completely outdated, archaic practice?

Yes UABU! I took my husband's name 3 years ago, because I wanted to. No pressure from him. Also, it's a really nice surname and I much preferred it to my own! Women are free to do what they want-take their husbands surname, don't take it, have a double-barrelled surname or take the surname, but continue to use their own professionally

YABU, I took my husband's name so that I would have the same surname as my future children. I have to spell married name every time, PITA!!

Well - I'm in the process of getting divorced from my exH and am keeping his surname.........and will keep it unless I meet someone else and get married again.

I hated my maiden name (and am now pretty distant from them anyhow), and have had this surname since I was 20 - so virtuall all of my adult life. It's who everyone knows me as. And I want to keep the same name as my DS's.

I have to spell it every time I give it to someone knew, and no-one can pronounce it either

still think it's mad in this day & age & dates from the days when women were their husbands "possession". Not to mention annoying when looking up old friends/acquaintances/colleagues. Kids should get one surname - why does it matter whose?

YANBU....but lots of people will disagree with you. But of course it's archaic. Bizarre.

Madinitials.....you could have given your DCs your name...or both.

yabu
I am proud to have my dh's surname
are you jealous perhaps?

P.S. if you want a surname everyone knows you by keeping the one you're born with is VERY handy!!

I didn't take my DHs surname....it's horrible.

I don't mean his surname is actually horrible which wouldn't be horrible, it would be quite cool.

er, no not jealous. Kept my name, my choice, OH cares not. DC has OH's ( the easier to spell thing was the deciding factor there). Didn't even occur to me to change MY name, or OH to change either for that matter. But then I didn't promise to "obey" either...

Hmm. Well, took DH's because I liked it much more than mine, and it was a good opportunity to get rid of surname I'd never been terribly fond of. But I do feel slightly odd about it, and don't like Mrs at all.

see I think that is fine you chose not to, so why get so upset and nasty about woman who choose too??

Well, it's an old practise, like getting married in itself. Like someone else said, women have a choice, as do men. I took my husband's name because mine was too weird for the country in which we live. I wanted us all to have the same name so that was the most logical way round.

YANBU to call it archaic - that's just a fact.

YABU to imply that it's necessarily bad.

I agree with Melissa from Shakesville
She says it all better than I could.

YANBU. DH and I decided to keep our own names - although he did offer to change if I wanted. I said no, it would be quite nutscontrolling of me to insist that you change your name to mine just because we are getting married. What reasonable person would expect their partner to do this? Oh wait...

YANBU!

YABU

Women who choose to take their husband's surname, do just that, they choose to. For a variety of reasons. Most women are aware that they can keep their maiden name if they want to.

Mine were that I love my husband and I wanted us to share a surname. Plus, we are more likely to get seated together on a plane.

I'm changing my surname to DP's by deedpoll so we are all the same (and coz I hate my name). What does that make me?

"P.S. if you want a surname everyone knows you by keeping the one you're born with is VERY handy!!"

not when you're "strangers" where you live once married.

Everyone, bar 2 people (and my family) , that I'm in contact still with onlh know me by this name.

The 2 people I keep regular contact with found me very easily on facebook since you can put in your maiden name as well to be "found" with, though not actually displayed.

Not upset or nasty, ( good grief, some of the threads on here & you think I sound nasty???) but genuinely curious as have lots of friends ( young, modern, career women etc etc) getting hitched recently who have taken blokey's name which I have to admit was v. surprised by.

I think all those who argue that women have a choice are being a tad naive. Many, many women feel a pressure to change their name upon marriage.

It may feel like a choice if you choose to change.

So no, YANBU.

Only "archaic" in the same sense as a lot of other wedding traditions. I suppose a lot of people find it convenient for all the family to have the same surname.

Eric I now realise that I have made it look as though having the same name as DCs was my sole reason for taking DH's surname when it isn't. I had no problem with taking DH's name but didn't want to double-barrel it as it would have been a mouthful and I'm not keen on double-barrelling anyway. My close friends call him Mr Madinitials anyway, a bit like Mr Madonna but without the record sales.

perhaps it's not so much that they want to share a name with their husband, but that they want to one day share a name with their children

YANBU.

Each to their own and all that, but it baffles me that so many women take their DH's name.