have had massive row with DS headmaster NOW IM IN THE S**T

[AliceInWonderBra]

posted sunday that ds escaped through broken fence at school, went in to see headmaster to day, and am now in shit.

they managed to get hold of my facebook page and printed off where i had said the school is losing standards etc and that i was still not happy, etc, nothing to heavy or slandering but i was pretty cross.

the school will not accept responsibility for ds getting out, i have tried to meet them half way on it, about the behavior etc but they having none of it.

things got VERY heated today and DS teacher and headmaster joined forces and had me in tears.

i ve asked when is fence getting fixed and they said gonna be a good few weeks. i took ds to our other local school and have enrolled him there to start next monday,
and all because we (me and DP) are never going to have a good parent teacher relationship, and now i ve called his teacher a cow as DS fell off a 4ft ladder and she never told us!!!!!

i feel we been pushed out now, do we move him or see how it goes?

ps sorry i never replied sunday things got out of hand

advice would be greatly appreciated :)

Gone are the days when people just talked about things amongst themselves. Now it has to be posted on FB FFS. What would you have done if you'd seen the teacher's FB page slagging you off for being a stupid cow.

Just cut your losses and move him. Complaining wont acheive anything now, as the realtionship has broken down.

LongtallJosie. I do know that, yes. Of course.

I was under the impression she'd posted about the headmaster and teacher on facebook.

Firstly, I didn?t mean to worry the OP. I?m sorry if I have as you are obviously stirred up and I too would be very upset by what has happened. I think a fresh start for your son at this early age is probably the best decision to make.

I also think that in this case there is a very low risk of anything happening here. It?s all about balancing the need to publish against the likelihood that the person or company will sue. There is a high risk with footballers, Russian oligarchs, companies and individuals from the Middle East. A much lower one with individual teachers who are unlikely to have lawyers on retainer. Still, it?s not unheard of. Some people are litigious by nature.

I posted as a warning because social networking is exponentially widening the scope of defamation. Privacy settings mean nothing in this context. And the OP?s example proves this point. Someone found this statement.

To clarify a few points (from very recent meeting with our in-house lawyers)

The claimant may be an individual, or a company, or any incorporated body whether trading or not. Not usually a govt dept or local authority but individuals can if they can be identified in a defamatory context, whether they are actually named or not.

The claimant needs to establish that the words were defamatory (lowering their estimation in the eyes of others), that the individual or company was identified (this does not mean they need to be named, but that someone could identify them with clues provided) and that the comments were published. Facebook, Twitter, chatrooms, mumsnet are all publishing venues. Even email and letters. In some countries, publication of a libel is deemed to have taken place in a letter, even if only the single recipient reads it.

If the claimant can do that, the action will succeed unless the publisher can offer a defence ? truth, fair comment or privilege. But that depends on the skill of lawyers and the judge presiding.

It is important to realize that the law does not require that the claimant be named. If he is not named in the article or in the broadcast, the law does not even require the world at large would know that he was the person meant. In England, and countries that follow its common law, it is sufficient if people who know the claimant, such as relatives, friends or colleagues, would understand the words to refer to him.

Any person or company taking part in the publication is liable ? the writer, printer, publisher and distributor.

So be careful in future.

OP very best of luck.

I would move him asap and keep him at home until he starts at new school.

I would also tell new school that the old school
failed to inform you of 4ft fall,
failed to keep him safe by not fixing fence or watching the children closely enough,

also they
failed to apologise for all the above

as well as
failed to propose changes to correct all the above,

and finally (if you need to by then, but you probably won't) snooped on your fb profile.

I would also not waste time on governors but go straight to LEA with the above list.

None of it recommends the school.

You will also have informed the new school of the problems so that, should they be contacted by the old school, they will be aware of the failings.

I honestly don't see what the OP has done wrong. So what if she posted on facebook that standards were going down. That is her own personal opinion of the school written on private page. I would probably have written something similar.

There was ian incident in my local paper this week of two primary children one aged 5 I think being allowed to leave the school and walk home two separate incidents in the same week at the same school.

Shocking.

Yeah, OP, you've nothing to apologise for (except the cow thing). What you put on FB is none of their business.

"What you put on FB is none of their business."

This is my point. It IS their business. Facebook is a publishing venue and as such is not private, even if you have set up privacy settings.

The OP is perfectly entitled to put on Facebook or in the local paper if she so desires) that in her opinion standards have gone down and her child is not safe.

The school can't really refute that as it looks like it is true.

OP don;t worry about the school, if the head is that bullying and your child is able to escape that easily then just get him out ASAP.

Calling the teacher a cow was unreasonable.

If you want to resolve this you need to do it without screaming insults and dragging it all over facebook (hardly anyone believes anything they read on there these days anyway).

You've got a range of people to contact:-
School should have a complaints policy somewhere on their website
Chair of the board of governors (again should be on their website)
The LEA (via the council website probably)
The whatever the Welsh equivalent of Ofsted is.

Failing that - the local paper will pick it up and run with it, but having stuff screaming on your FB page if you're going down that route - you need to be aware that that may well be dragged up against you, same as posts naming the school on here.

But no, hurling personal insults (especially at the teacher who probably has spent hour after hour bugging to get the fence fixed anyway and had naff all luck from the headteacher) and having blazing rows is unreasonable and completely counterproductive - you'll get better results going in quite cold calm and rationally - if that means you need to take the weekend to think about a next move and leave them stewing on it for a bit (they'll be crapping themselves over the child safety issues), then that's the better course of action than going in and digging yourself into a confrontation. Keep everything in writing and then you've got a written trail of proof about what's been said and what action has/hasn't been taken.

I would forget about the FB thing. I seriously doubt they are going to pursue that, even if they could. If they can't afford to fix a fence, how are they going to square away the legal fees of a libel case. Non-issue. Put it to the back of your mind.

You have moved your son to another nursery. View that as a clean slate. At 3 years of age you should have absolutely no worries that he will have difficulty settling or making friends. If you think the HT at the other school will have had contact with the new HT about the incident then you may wish to request a meeting with the new HT to put your side of the story and express your regret at having been rude to the teacher.

Think about what other outcomes you want from the situation and maybe post them here so that we can come up with a plan of action.

It may be that you walk away from it or it may be that you make a written complaint to the Head of Governors/LEA about the way in which you have been treated.

One thing you may wish to consider is writing an apology to the teacher for calling her a cow. I think this would reflect well on you if you pursued the matter.

"I would also not waste time on governors but go straight to LEA with the above list." etc... from many posters.
I am a clerk to school governors, and in the past I worked at a senior level in a Local Education Authority, where one of my jobs was to deal with parental complaints. I could not consider anything until the school procedure had been completed. The situation is the same now - the complaints will not be considered unless the parent has followed the school complaints procedure first. In the old days the next step was to complain to the LEA (me in my LEA), but that is not the case now.
After going through the school complaints procedure, I'm not sure if it's the same in Wales, but in England you complain to the Secretary of State, not the Local Authority. Ofsted can advise parents about all of this, Op is in Wales and has been given links to the equivalent of Ofsted in previous posts.
That is how it works, and it's been said many times in this thread. I know it's not easy to read all replies, but it's worth just skimming before giving out wrong advice?