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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

have had massive row with DS headmaster NOW IM IN THE S**T

211 replies

AliceInWonderBra · 09/11/2010 17:47

posted sunday that ds escaped through broken fence at school, went in to see headmaster to day, and am now in shit.

they managed to get hold of my facebook page and printed off where i had said the school is losing standards etc and that i was still not happy, etc, nothing to heavy or slandering but i was pretty cross.

the school will not accept responsibility for ds getting out, i have tried to meet them half way on it, about the behavior etc but they having none of it.

things got VERY heated today and DS teacher and headmaster joined forces and had me in tears.

i ve asked when is fence getting fixed and they said gonna be a good few weeks. i took ds to our other local school and have enrolled him there to start next monday,
and all because we (me and DP) are never going to have a good parent teacher relationship, and now i ve called his teacher a cow as DS fell off a 4ft ladder and she never told us!!!!!

i feel we been pushed out now, do we move him or see how it goes?

ps sorry i never replied sunday things got out of hand

advice would be greatly appreciated :)

OP posts:

needafootmassage · 09/11/2010 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

AliceInWonderBra · 09/11/2010 18:54

myleetlepony - i will deffo be following the advice, i know perhaps im over protective of ds but if he can get out so can others! i will be getting it sorted,

OP posts:

ColdComfortFarm · 09/11/2010 18:55

I think the school should realise that its school is so badly run that three year olds can get out unobserved! That is not normal or acceptable, and very, very dangerous.

josie14 · 09/11/2010 18:55

Has your child got a particular problem? Do you have other children to compare it against. He is so young - now is the time to put it right. If he sees he can cause problems between home and school, that is a lot of power for a little boy. If possible, work with the school, this one or a new one.

Simbacatlives · 09/11/2010 18:57

Duchesse- I didn't say if it was right or not.

I said that was the issue that needed to be considered.

We didn't see the arrangements, we don't know about the staffing, we don't know if staff were following procedures etc.

We don't know the full circumstances. The question to be investigated would be if the school had taken reasonable steps to avoid this.

jybay · 09/11/2010 18:59

JoBettany - thanks. Wouldn't have happened at the Chalet School!

Original poster

AliceInWonderBra · 09/11/2010 19:02

i shouldnt have called her a cow, i know that but after everything else, to hear that on top totally tipped me over the edge, which i know is completly un-acceptable.

but i think its exactly as cold comfort said, its un acceptable, a 3 yo got out!

PHIPPS - What is your problem?? if you think im lying, go reply to a different post, i asked for advice, i didnt know what i was supposed to do next after speaking to head teacher. thats all.

and Fee- i think its still LEA in wales, but if not, at least i know what it has become :) thankyou!

thankyou all infact :)

OP posts:

jybay · 09/11/2010 19:05

I think that - if a 3 year old can get past it - a temporary fence repair is by definition inadequate.

The ladder depends on the exact circumstances e.g. if it was a ladder in a playgym and he jumped down then ran off unhurt, I can understand not telling you. Different if he was hurt at the time.

Original poster

AliceInWonderBra · 09/11/2010 19:06

im off to put DS and DD to bed now, so may not reply for a while, but again, thank you all so much! sorry if a partially confused you, i confuse my self some times ha ha, but im glad mums netters was to the rescue again lol :) :) :)

OP posts:

Original poster

AliceInWonderBra · 09/11/2010 19:07

before the question arises that i never mentioned my DD its because she 7 months and not in school :)

OP posts:

Woodhen · 09/11/2010 19:11

If its an early years setting then I think you can complain to Ofsted - I used to be a childminder and parents could complain about me to Ofsted - could be wrong though. I do know if a three year old in my care got out of a fence and the parent complained they would have been on me like a shot (ofsted that is!).

ginodacampoismydh · 09/11/2010 19:11

look alice of course you did not manage this situation very well but i can understand why, you probably felt intimidated by the two teachers joining forces against you.

i would remove my child from this school, if they can use thier power to bully and intimidate parents god knows how they react to 3 yr old children.

i called a nursery worker a nasty woman but did not remove dd from the nursery i stood by my comment that she was a nasty woman and did make a complaint to ofsted about safety issues and lack pf recording my claim, ofsted did investigate.

i would make a complaint to the school and keep a copy of this and also report it the the wlech equivelant of ofsted.

classydiva · 09/11/2010 19:13

The council are respnsibile for the fence, what you write on a fb page is nothing to be sorry about, it is nothing whatsoever to do with the school.

You left your child in their care he got out that is their responsibility, complain to the education department.

They are responsble for your child whilst he is in their care.

Move him to another school and make a formal complaint to the local education authority.

You have nothing to be ashamed off regarding facebook that is nothing to do with the school, I suggest you look to those in your FB account and consider removing some of your so called friends.

Simbacatlives · 09/11/2010 19:13

Jybay

I have seen a 3 year old scale a garden shed onto the roof, , jump across and shimmy up a drain pipe and then stand on the school nursery roof.

Does that mean the school had not taken adequate precautions to prevent this?

I am not saying that the table was adequate- we don't know- we didn't see it. I have seen a 4 year old scale an 8 foot high metal fence- you would assume a more than adequate fence in any circumstances.

School can't remove risk- they can only limit it. Any investigation would look at this.

We know the fact that the child got out but not the full circumstances.

perfumedlife · 09/11/2010 19:14

Alice if that had happened to my ds at the age of 3 and a half i would be apoplectic with rage! Anything could have happened to him. No wonder you were livid. As for the facebook comment, it was true. Calling teacher a cow obviously was wrong and you have apologised.

If I were you, and your boy is otherwise happy at this school, I would see how they wish to proceed with this complaint, and then decide if you want to move schools. But I doubt you could trust them after this.

Simbacatlives · 09/11/2010 19:14

Why are the council responsible for the fence?

ColdComfortFarm · 09/11/2010 19:15

Simba, you saw a three year old do this. OK, that's what should happen, someone should be looking!

ForMashGetSmash · 09/11/2010 19:15

It is actually prfectly reasonable that sme people...even parents...don't know what Ofsted is. The OPS son is three...she has only just entered the system and some people believe it or not simply apply to their nearest school with no other thoughts.

People are so narrow minded.

Original poster

AliceInWonderBra · 09/11/2010 19:16

gino- i did feel intimidated well as i said they had me in tears etc it was awful, but i stood my ground and then things got worse so i made them worse which was wrong.

i was quite upset that the next day it ended up in him not being allowed a play time. i handled things the wrong way which i admitted to the headmaster but so did the school which they were not awilling to admitt.

OP posts:

ginodacampoismydh · 09/11/2010 19:16

simba i would say the school had taked inadequate precautions, that was a lack of supervision and inhability to safeguard, i would remove my dc from a nursery if a child scalled the roof.

bettymoody · 09/11/2010 19:17

this is all a nonsense non?

SkyBluePearl · 09/11/2010 19:17

you need to put in an official complaint to Ofsted, the goveners and th LEA. It could be the same complaint but just copied three times.

the head was totally in the wrong to print out your facebook page. you should highlight that they have unacceptably used it as amunition in your letter.

Simbacatlives · 09/11/2010 19:18

Safeguarding is about limiting risk not totally removing it. We can't remove all risk.

ColdComfortFarm · 09/11/2010 19:19

A nursery where a three year old gets out without being seen is not limiting risk enough.

classydiva · 09/11/2010 19:19

Schools are given money by councils, i.e council = education department at the council.

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