have had massive row with DS headmaster NOW IM IN THE S**T

[AliceInWonderBra]

posted sunday that ds escaped through broken fence at school, went in to see headmaster to day, and am now in shit.

they managed to get hold of my facebook page and printed off where i had said the school is losing standards etc and that i was still not happy, etc, nothing to heavy or slandering but i was pretty cross.

the school will not accept responsibility for ds getting out, i have tried to meet them half way on it, about the behavior etc but they having none of it.

things got VERY heated today and DS teacher and headmaster joined forces and had me in tears.

i ve asked when is fence getting fixed and they said gonna be a good few weeks. i took ds to our other local school and have enrolled him there to start next monday,
and all because we (me and DP) are never going to have a good parent teacher relationship, and now i ve called his teacher a cow as DS fell off a 4ft ladder and she never told us!!!!!

i feel we been pushed out now, do we move him or see how it goes?

ps sorry i never replied sunday things got out of hand

advice would be greatly appreciated :)

Do not leave it, the next mum might be a quiet little mousey type who doesn't want to cause a fuss but her child is treated worse than yours has been. They cannot get away with this, turning the tables how do you think you'd be treated if you took your child into A & E with an injury cause at school falling off a ladder which hadn't been treated. Which hadn't been recorded in the accident book. They wouldn't believe you and you'd face a lot of questioning. They would assume you'd done it.

the way i feel right now is that i wanna keep him off tomoz and not face anyone at all, but then that looks like guilt doesnt it.
i ve got a massive head ache now :( :(

I wonder how many of the posters that say the OP is out of line in the she has handled this would be happy about their 3 year old escaping through a hole in the fence ?

I know I would have gone apeshit, and I doubt I would have been able to have acted like a "reasonable adult" in the circumstances.

thank you fibilou :)

I wouldn't take him back - go to the other school. Yes, the head probably will talk to the new one, but you can prove them wrong by holding your head high and conducting yourself with dignity. They will soon be able to see that a)your ds isn't naughty and b)you are not a loon

thanks feenie! my family would prob say im a bit of a loon

Pranma Ofsted do no inspect schools in Wales

Pleasure Alice, I think you are unfairly getting a pasting from the 9 o'clock jury

Don't panic about the FB thing - if you just posted "Am pissed off with DS's school because they let him escape", you have nothing to worry about it. While it is correct (as said above) that a statement that is arguably true can still be libellous, there is no problem with making statements of simple fact like this.

If you said "Mr X, headteacher of School Y is a total incompetent who doesn't know his job" than that might be defamatory (even if true ). Given the circumstances though, the school would be insane to sue you - would only draw attention to the fact they let your DS escape.

everyone entitled to their opinion, i posted on here for the truthful answers of what i should do even if it wasnt wat i wanted to hear or rather read, but just like the school we all have our views!!,
its nice though to have positive feed back, and friendly advice, it really is appreciated! :) :) :)

OP, I've read your other thread now, and really do think you should just move your DS and forget it. If you move him to a new school, he can start again, and you will no longer be concerned that he has been labelled as "naughty".

I think you need to think about where your priorities lie - if it's with your DS, then move him to a different school don't bother to pursue the incident at this one. If you want to fight a battle, then by all means go ahead and start the complaint. But you need to think about what you want to get out of it - if I was you, I wouldn't want to keep my 3 yo in a nursery where the supervision is so lax, and they use things like a "naughty book" (really? Not just a "report" - which can be good or bad?)

night night everyone :)

alice do as thatsnotmymonkey suggested.

have you put lo to bed yet? if not do that now i think if you keep up with the debate on here you are going to end up becoming slightly more disempowered than you may already be feeling at this situation.

Alice, I do think you should move your DS.

However, I would not drop this. I would use the procedure for complaints until you feel you have received proper apologies and the school have fixed the fence and ensured that accidents (4ft ladder fall) would be reported in the future.

Don't just forget about it please as it could happen to another child and the school needs to admit the error of their ways and show they are getting the situation fixed.

I think they are showing you the facebook stuff potentially to scare you into doing nothing about it. Like someone said earlier on the thread, I think it wasn't the school but probably one of your facebook 'friends' who printed the page for the school (since your privacy settings are high). Please be careful what you write on facebook in the future...

xx

also ment to say if you have a new school place starting monday (have i read that correctly?) then dont take him back keep him off for the rest of the week and start new place monday

I think moving him and putting this all behind you is the best thing.

An area for three year olds needs to be reasonably secure, and all pre schools I have seen do have this. The school was out of order. It is outrageous that they are leaving the hole there for weeks, can't someone with some common sense go and nail some board accross or rope it off (probably not because that is not the teachers job.....)

You should have been told about the fall from the ladder.

They should be skilled at dealing with upset parents and should not have made you cry.

They should have been in dialouge with you if they felt your son was 'naughty' well before this point.

I believe you about groups of other boys 'bullying' your son at this age. I have seen groups of boys ganging up on other boys at this age. I don't think they have the same malious intent as older children and don't understand the consequences but I do believe it happens.

All in all sounds like a rubbish school, go try the other one. Explain to the new teacher why you have moved.

OK, Alice, did you name the school in your FB thing? I ask because I think you need to stop feeling guilty about stating the truth on what you feel is happening to you. If the school had handled their/your concerns sooner, you would not have had to take out your frustrations in the ways you have. I am never much of a one for jumping two footed into the legal route, but I really feel that the school has failed in its duty to ensure your very little son's safety and they have not adhered to standard procedures following accidents that all decently-run schools do.

Instead of dealing with their own issues, they have removed you and your son, or made it difficult for you to stay. Their management style stinks- it's more like bullying than managing and it needs to stop because the other children in that school are not safe. And I am not usually much of a one to jump two-footed onto the H&S band-waggon either.

agree you need to stop feeling guilty. And please don't worry about libel, the school would be laughed out of court if they tried it. And I doubt the LEA and governors would be prepared to spend public money on expensive lawyers to harass a parent. The head is blustering to cover up two pretty serious failures - failure to report an accident and leaving the hole in the fence.

Of course the school were in the wrong to let a 3 year old escape from a playground and go into a car park. That all could have been resolved by the school apologising and resolving to change how they supervise the children.

When DD was at school (when she was 3, in England, because contrary to what some people are saying on this thread, lots of 3 year olds are in school in the UK) she was taken out of the playground by an older pupil and into a wooded area at the far end of the school fields. The rest of the children went in at the end of play and she was locked out. She was found some time later, in the playground, crying.

The school told me, and apologised, and changed the way children came in at the end of breaks. I accepted that mistakes happen and was content with the outcome. I would be very concerned if the school had handled this in the way the OP's school has done. A school has to be responsible for keeping small children supervised adequately.

The libel thing seems spurious to me. While it may be technically possible to sue someone for reporting events in their own life which involve an institution, if organisations like the LEA started suing members of the public frequently, there will end up being a change in the law. Half the posts on MN are about schools, doctors or hospitals which will be recognisable to parents who live locally. MN would have to be shut down in libel law was commonly used in such a way.

otchayaniye - I'm confused as to what you're posting. I'm also a journalist of many years standing and what you're saying is surprising.

You must know that:

a) Justification is an absolute defence against libel (and for others, justification is where you can show that what you say is the truth). It is true that some people have lost cases where what they say is "effectively true", but "effectively true" isn't good enough and of course where you can't prove it to be true (even if it is) you're on stickier ground. But if your child definitely escaped, saying so would not be a problem. The issue would be more to do with your saying standards are going down.

I would argue that since your small child escaped, though, you would probably (in the unlikely event of being sued) rely on a fair comment defence. This is only a partial defence against libel but saying that "standards are slipping" is not the worst disparaging comment in the world. I'm not sure what is meant by a "free speech defence" - the three defences against libel are justification, privilege (partial and absolute - relating to press conferences and court proceedings respectively) and fair comment.

b) libel is mostly a matter against individuals, and their personal reputation. You can't be sued by a large group. How small a group has to be to be able to sue for libel is a matter of some discussion, but generally we're talking small - ie less than 20 or so. Because the group would have to be small enough for your individual reputation to be damaged by being associated with that group.

c) You have to identify someone in order to libel them. That said, even if your Facebook settings were tight, if a third party could see it (as opposed to an email, where it would be between you and someone else) it could be considered libelous. To illustrate what I mean - a private letter between two people could not contain a libel. A postcard could.

it is normal practise, that if a young child escapes from nursery/school then steps up and makes sure this doesn't happen again.

when a little boy managed to get out of the nursery, they has a rethink of hometime routine.

i hope your child enjoys it in his new school and he is safe and secure there

then they steps up

Yes you should move your child from that school. A 3 year old escaping is a serious issue and the fence should be fixed straight away, Also they should have told you about your Ds falling off a 4 foot ladder in fact that should be recorded in their accident book. They are invading your privacy byseeking out your face book page, Report them to ofstead at once,

Just read your other thread and YANBU to be furious about this. School have a duty of care towards their pupils and allowing an unsupervised 3 yr old to get into a carpark through an unrepaired hole is a clear breach of it! They're lucky he wasn't run over in that carpark and I'm gobsmacked that they're going to take weeks to fix it

I think you're doing the right thing by moving him. His safety has to be the priority and this place sounds dreadful both wrt the attitudes and the facilities.

I dont think you should take him back. The fence is still broken, shocked your even considering him going back there. I think youve handled the situation as well as most parents would (except the f/b bit but you know yabu there) just keep him off till he starts the new school and you all can put a line under it. Good luck for you and your little one.