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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to dump a SMALL WILLY!

290 replies

gobbledegoop · 03/11/2010 13:55

Bit of backround for you, this is a fairly new relationship, he's a nice guy and wants everything i want from life but AIBU...... to finish with him because his willy is too small for me to get any satisfaction Blush

Ive been in relationships in the past where they have had sexual problems/issues and it's soul destroying, i've also had very satisfying sexual relationships so i know what it can be like.

Opinions please.............

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 08/11/2010 20:21

Yeah, see, that's the other thing, I gotta have something to suck.

Yes, graphic. This is a graphic thing.

AnyFucker · 08/11/2010 20:22

expat, you are rampant, lady !

OP, I thought you would have binned this guy by now

expatinscotland · 08/11/2010 20:25

I like sex. Foreplay, cuddling, pillow talk, but fucking is an important part of that, too, to me :o.

Tongues, toys, foreplay, yeah, great. Love it! But I need penetration for the complete package, especially when you're talking about someone you aren't even committed to, IYKWIM.

AnyFucker · 08/11/2010 20:27

I ain't knockin' ya, expat, I like it too Grin

Original poster
gobbledegoop · 08/11/2010 20:36

hey at least when i'm sucking i can get it all the way in without gagging... Wink

OP posts:
QueenOfTheNight · 08/11/2010 20:36

Expat went further than me but she is absolutely and completely spot on! Life really is too fecking short for bad sex and tiny cocks if it is leaving you unsatisfied and miserablw!!

Even great, fantabulous, pillow biting sex can get a teeny bit boring after 24 years if you don't work at it but I can't imagine trying to put up with rubbish, unsatisfying sex for so long without me and DP ending up resenting each other.

expatinscotland · 08/11/2010 20:43

Ah, gobble, the trick to not gagging on your well-endowed partner is to use one of your hands up and down his shaft in tandem with your mouth.

Wink

Bodies change over time and with age and childbirth.

I have cervical erosion myself and am perimenopausal, so at certain times of the month (we don't have sex during my period at all because neither of us cares for it) some positions are out due to DH's size.

Original poster
gobbledegoop · 08/11/2010 20:48

oh yes i know about the hands but when they grab hold of your head and push it down, if it's small you don't end up biting the fucker off haha!

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 08/11/2010 22:09

gobble, I always warned my bfs that if they tried that head pushing thing they would lose their cock to me biting it!

Original poster
gobbledegoop · 08/11/2010 22:23

couldn't agree more lol

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 08/11/2010 22:34

that head-pushing thing gets short shrift in this house

and hair-pulling (unless invited)

Original poster
gobbledegoop · 08/11/2010 22:37

i quite like hair pulling....when the time calls for it Wink

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 08/11/2010 22:38

that's what I said, gobble Grin

it's gentlemanly to wait for an invitation though

Original poster
gobbledegoop · 08/11/2010 22:41

hey darling, do you mind if i yank your hair?
oh yes of course, seeing as you asked so nicely! hehe

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 08/11/2010 22:42
Grin
Original poster
gobbledegoop · 10/11/2010 00:34

oh dear, more bad sex! it's not that he's just small, he doesn't know what to do with it, or anything else for that matter! Gotta get rid, i don't want to but i can't put up with this for ever. Anyone that could has either, a very low sex drive, or is a dried up old prune !

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 10/11/2010 00:50

sorry, have to just have a teeny snurk there. It's not kind and it's not fair - but do you think there is any mileage in suggesting sex therapy? For him, I mean. And I know people were saying that you mustn't tell him that his inabilities in the bedroom are the reason you want to break up but really, wouldn't it be kinder in the long run to disillusion him? You might not benefit from it (messengers always get shot) but if you do actually like him you'd be doing him a longterm favour.

Quattrocento · 10/11/2010 00:58

Oh I don't blame you for dumping a disembodied willy. Frightful thought. What possessed you to think that the disembodied body part was suitable for a relationship?

Couldn't you just buy a vibrator? No hang ups with a vibrator - you can use or not use as you will - without having to endure any painful explanations. Also you can buy the size of vibrator that suits you. I'm sure that's the way forward.

thumbwitch · 10/11/2010 01:02

lol at QC - you pedant, you! Grin

Original poster
gobbledegoop · 10/11/2010 12:02

yes a vibrator is defo the way forward... i was thinking of this

what do ya think?? Grin

OP posts:
OP posts:
Original poster
gobbledegoop · 10/11/2010 13:13

thumb, i am totally not brave enough to tell him that
a) his willy is too small and
b) he is crap in bed!!

If i give you his number, you could tell him for me if you like.... Wink

OP posts:
JingleTits · 10/11/2010 20:29

ewwwwww @ the link Grin

RunAwayWife · 10/11/2010 20:43

Maybe it is not small, it might have a large space to fill

expatinscotland · 10/11/2010 20:45

It doesn't matter, they are sexually incompatible.

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