To have splatted a half eaten ice cream cone on his head?

[AlwaysMeanWellOftenWrong]

Husband arrived home from work. Kids and I had finished our tea and were eating our ice cream. He heated his up in microwave and joined us at the table. Sausage, mash, onion gravy, carrots and sweetcorn.

'oh, I'll just get some brown sauce' - he jumps up and goes and gets it. I say 'EEERR thats gross, try it without first.' He starts to squeeze - 'just try it first (nervous laugh to make him feel like I am not 'telling him' although this is obviously lost in translation)as the bottle of brown sauce is then lobbed across table and onto floor, DS4, DD1 and mother all look on mouths gaping, although mother then remembers that such childish ways of communication are quite commonplace from him.

Mother thinks (in a very quick flash) - all these things all at once - I am angry because he has had yet another 'tantrum', I am angry at myself for even saying anything anyway, he wasn't trying to say my food was tasteless, he just wanted extra flavour. And I decide to let it go and just carry on eating my ice cream... then I look up at him and he is glaring at me as if I am the wife from hell. Something inside me just releases and I just cannot resist, 'splat'! I didn't really think about it, and I am still not entirely sure of my motives but I think it was 'well, if he is going to have a tantrum, so will I'! And I certainly did not consider the consequences!

I could tell he was extremely angry by the rage in his eyes - which to me seemed absurd, to be so angry at such as silly thing, so I laughed, so much and so hysterically that I looked quite deluded, so I left the room to put the kids bath on.

About 10 seconds later, hubby was upstairs getting ironing board out 'What are you doing, you should eat your tea it will get cold' - yes you guessed it - its in the bin!

Of course, my trip wire is finally pushed right over the edge and rage erupts as I think of how ungrateful he is and feel really annoyed at him trying to punish me by making me feel guilty that he now has had no tea.

I know I was unreasonable. I know he was unreasonable. I also think it is so funny and thought you all must deserve a laugh!

We are still out of sorts with each other because I am always the first to apologise, have been for 9 years, but tonight, I am just waiting for him to decide enough is enough and that he wants to make amends. I will let you know if he ever does - very doubtful!

I will end up saying sorry, then he will say sorry. I don't think I will be able to let it go on much longer.

AAAHH, the joys of having a marriage to uphold!

Because there are 'holes' in my text could be that some have not read the whole text, not got my meaning, I may have been confused (as I often am) I do not have that good a concentration at the moment given what a shitty time of it I am having. I try not to swear on here because I think it is rude, I try not to hurt peoples feelings also. I try to be always open and truthful.

I am not enjoying it, but it particularly helpful to see myself opening up and so I can re read it in a few weeks if I forget about the revelations.

OK read first half of the page and then OPs reply.

OPsays DS4 and DD1, she then 1/2 way down page says 'both dc's' and then syas they have vomiting bug at night having just been saying about the large dinner and ice cream they have eaten.

See you just did it again.
S'alright dittany- I know there are too many women on here with traumatic childhood experiences but this one isn't sitting with me right.

Always, I hope you get the help you need but Im going to have to bow out because I'm sure I'm just feeding the fire here.

Right, thank you to all that have helped.

As it appears that some on here obviously have trust issues because of a few idiots who have used the net to wind people up, and my 'story' is rather far fetched, I am off.

I am also never going to use this site again because I am so sick of getting sworn at or told my life is too out of the ordinary that it cannot possibly true. I am sick of being different, sick of being wrong, sick of being hurt, sick of crying, sick of failing, sick of being so crap at being perfect, sick of trying to be perfect, sick of trying and trying and trying and trying and trying.

I have not felt this low for a lot of years now, mainly down to the steady and confidence boosting influence of my beautiful adoring forgiving husband. But I fear that because on Monday I return to work after spending a year on maternity leave with my beloved children, I have temporarily lost it. Lucky I just feel sad and don't quite want to attack my life with the usual vigor. I am sure it will pass.

Thanks to the few who really took the time to empathise, sympathise and offer advice.

yeah that sounds about right.

It took 13 pages tho booooyhoo. Fair play.

boooooooooooyhoo - sorry, I am struggling to let this go - I just want to know out of interest really , which bits of this do you think are made up? The whole thing? My whole personality? My life?

13 pages to what?? I don't post on here that often... hmmm, now I think I remember why I stop.

I am just weird. Simple. No one gets me. Not even me.

yes but the only remaining sympathiser has now bid her farewells ("So I'm going to believe you and wish you all the best and tell you you don't deserve the anger and temper that your husband directs at you, and you didn't deserve the violence your mother meted out to you. I hope you can find a way through this, and please listen to me when I say you won't find it by blaming yourself.")
so OP is forced to flounce 'on her own terms'. when in fact it is really because she has no more interest in her story.

I'm not playing anymore OP

I don't know what you mean by flouncing on my own terms?

TBH I would be surprised if its a wind as such as OP has been for a while and posted lots.

But OP the inconsistencies do lead people to think the worse. Even I did but I guess you meant DS 4yo and DD 1yo. DS4 means 4th son and DD1 means 1st daughter.

Yes I meant four year old and 1 year old. Typing at a million miles an hour to keep up with all the questions and my mind is flooding with feelings of upset, wondering, searching, questioning, trying to see myself and those around me clearly and trying to express the inner workings of my very confusing brain.

I think if I had have had four kids I would be committed or sitting huddled in front of the TV never leaving the house! I am lucky to have remained so very in control through the trying times for the 2 I have!

I am completely commited to remaining as normal as I possibly can for the rest - even committed to improving my outlook and in look.

I just ramble. And constantly flit from one thought to another. Also, I am not actually all that good at giving a fair appraisal of past events - I often miss important things or get it wrong *(I am not trying to back track I promise)

I keep adding my two penneth which is not a very good way to end something. I need to just ignore any questions that are added from here on in, but I don't want to appear rude.

You need to talk if that helps.

I did the same read 1/2 a page realised it seemed inconsistant, thought it was a wind up, then recognised the name realised what you meant and came back tail between legs.

TBH I would post in relationships if there are problems, this is AIBU which to crack ice cream cone on DH head is BU (sorry), regardless of past events, especially in front of the DC's.

Now you've begun to recognise some patterns, problems, issues then some advice can help you turn that round.

Don't flounce use this experience positively.

I will use it positively.

Or, at least I will try. I have posted in mental health - I just hope I get some support and not told I am lying.

I do find human beings so complicated. I think that's why I love my husband so much, because he is so simple (emotionally) to understand.

Bloody hell. Can't the disbelievers just stop posting if they have doubts. I for one am capable of keeping what I need private. No troll is going to make me feel vulnerable.

I'm really disappointed that the troll calling is still rife.

Fwiw, the OP could have been me in the past - bits. I have had bizarre and horrendous stuff happen to me and post in a very similar way.

I have such a big issue with getting help professionally for my difficulties as I am an expert second guesser, always wanting to dodge criticism and failing. It makes you sound like you don't want help, like you are making stuff up, like...oh God you wouldn't believe what it's like.

If the OP is like this (she seems to have some traits I recognise) at all then you will have made her feel really helpless. That's more of a shame than failing to 'spot the troll' in my view.

hobbgoblin - I am so very grateful for you seeing it is truly me here, and for empathising with me. It is also your earlier posts which prompted me to do some digging.

I have a problem with getting help because I cannot admit to anyone that I may have a problem, which is a little hurdle!

The only reason I can post on here is because I am able to change my name if things get too heated or I get judged too harshly.

I could not sit in front of someone face to face and say - hey, I think I have thought patterns and behaviours that actually have a disorder to name them.

Luckily at the moment I am not too low and feel quite resilient - I feel this is because I cannot wallow or let go because I am so responsible as a wife and mother.

Well I'm gald to hear you have resilience alwaysmeanwell. It doesn't matter to me whether people here tell the truth. It's a little cathartic to post about one's own experiences if truth be told, and interesting to hear views of posters such as dittany from a 'debate' point of view too. If all this helps you then that is wonderful. I can see that you have will probably lot of unanswered questions now that the original post didn't finish up with everyone laughing along with you at the strange humour going on in your house! I hope you find your answers in time, they will be worth finding I'm sure.

Dittany, I think for once I find your views on this thread both interesting and valid but far too black and white for me to agree with.

Gosh Always, what a turn around from last night and well done for actually listening to what was being said and realsing the situation you are in is not normal and all the subtext that was going on underneath. Last night, you cooked the meal you always cooked as a little girl, looked after the kids like when you were a little girl, and then had your DH (father) appear to disaprove of all the constant hard work and plate juggling.

I know I was coming on strong last night, but it was becuase you then couldnt see how fucked up that bloody sauce/cream scenario was.

I have been in non-physical abusive relationships before, mainly because I picked handsome, funny, charming men with highly addictive personalities (drugs / alcohol / pornography)... just like my twat of a dad....

So if I remain single to my dying day - I'm really not bothered right now!

best of luck with it all and do speak to a prfessional counsellor.

you have received good advice and to your credit reflected and listened

i admit i initially thought it was a tongue in cheek i-twatted-my-husband-cos-he-looked-at-me-funny-arent-i-dead-funny

clearly not

so best wishes for you,hope you work things out

Oh dear. I'm the one who's going to come along and say don't worry (hun?!) we do that too. Although not the icecream cone. We argue over the sauce ritual: DH spends 20 mins at every meal getting up and procuring half a dozen sauces from the kitchen, using them like gravy. He never gets them in advance, as he is always surprised when dinner is served, after 22 years together, dinner is never anticipated apparently. We have usually all finished by the time he sits down, then he complains its cold and how sad it is that he has to wait so long to eat his dinner. Beyond odd. After 22 years of the sauce rituals, nothing shocks me.