DSD abortion thread part II

[GivesHeadlessHorseman]

carry on ladies....

loudlass sounds like your daughter is very lucky she has been taught well, not all with have that same level of education. I don't know if catholic schools would give the samne amount of info for example?

What are OTBT threads?

That was just at a normal state primary school, and a normal state secondary school. I would have assumed that (other than at a Catholic/church school) that would be the standard PSHE curriculum if it's what DD has been told at school? Apparently next half term in PSHE (Y8) they are going to discuss the impact that choosing to have sex with your boyfriend could have on your relationship. Is that an abnormal thing for Secondary schools to be doing? Is it not standard?

It worries me if children are taught that condoms prevent all std's because they don't.

They should be taught that they prevent some, but aren't 100% effective and things like herpes can be caught anyway and once you have that you have it for life.

It seems to me that the current message is it's ok to sleep with who you want but always wear a condom at it should be think about who you're sleeping with because the risks are never zero.

(i do think it's ok to sleep with who you want, but teenagers should be made aware of the risks)

Tess - I am saddened and shocked at your "D"H's abdication of responsibility in this situation and I hope that in the couple of days you are away, he and your DSD do actually start to face up to some of this. I really hope as well that they don't both just ignore it while you are away, on the grounds that nothing needs to be done until you return. I would be suggesting strongly to them both that you expect the boy and his parents to be apprised of the situation before you return - give them both some responsibility here. My heart truly goes out to you in your situation - I really hope that your "D"H mans up very very soon and takes his head out of his arse.

Maryz - just an idea - you could always print out some of this thread for your DD to read. if you C&P it into a word document, you can delete your own comments (although she wouldn't necessarily know they are you except from this post so you can delete mine too :))

In fact, it might be a good thing to archive and keep for all mothers of teenagers - "Read this and see what disruption, distress and outright misery getting pg could cause and to how many people."

My DS is only 2 so it's a long way off for me but I have my own story to tell him as well as a warning.

Do femidoms ( when used correctly) protect against herpes?

Tess Ive followed this thread from start to finish and I really feel for you all - what a scary and difficult predicament. I cannot add any extra help/ information than what has already been suggested, but I do wish to give you a very un-mumsnet like (((hug))).

Hopefully having a few days away is enough for you to clear your head after what has been a traumatic few says. I hope it also gives your 'D'H and DSD time to realise that they cannot saddle you with all this unwanted and unnecessary pressure. Your DSD needs to understand that, as a pregnant mum-to-be, she is sadly no longer a child and must take responsibility for her actions. Your 'D'H needs to understand that also - they cannot expect you to become 'mum' to the baby whenever they feel like it, the baby will already have a mum - your DSD. You also have to think of your other children and how this will impact them. My heart really goes out to you all, I can only imagine the torrent of emotions you are all feeling.

Best wishes to you all and I truly hope everything is OK x

Femidoms leave less exposed skin so are slightly better.

I agree that condoms are the best way forward as regards STI's.

A young friend of mine went off to uni a virgin, kept hold of it for over a year and then lost it. Fine.
Her second man (sexual partner) encounter left her with herpes :( She was/is devastated.

I need to sit down with Ds (12.2) and discuss this with him. I don't want to be starting a thread like this any time soon with my boy about to be a father...

Femidom's not condom's.

Why are they not given out at FPC then? I mean you go in my local and there are bags of condoms for you to just take but you have to ask for Femidoms. Also teenagers are always told use a condom as opposed to a condom or a femidom?

You can still catch an STD even when using a condom. Diseases such as herpes and warts can be all over the genital area not just the penis so if it rubs against your skin, you'll catch it, even if the man is wearing a condom.

To be honest this whole thread is freaking me out. I'm pregnant with a DD and if things like 'Lipstick parties' and people having sex in front of people for dares is happening now, God knows what kids will be up to by the time my child is a teenager. I feel so sorry for Tess, this is a nightmare.

also if you are interested neither me nor any of my friends have ever used a condom for oral sex. It was only this past month I discovered you are supposed to. No one ever told me and I am a 22yo mum of two, so I would definetely go over that one with your dds

I'd rather have herpes than some of the other nasties going around.
Am not sure about young girls going on the pill or injections or implants either.
I was almost suicidal in my teens due to depro something or other injections. When they wore off it was like a black cloud lifting.

I doubt many woen do scareandalone. The mere thought is stomach churning.

woen? WOMEN

I thought femidoms weren't available any more?

But surely you've heard of favoured condoms scared?

Tyler yes but I thought as a teenager that was just for fun and so you didn't get the icky taste No teacher or family planner ever discussed this to be honest it was all anti pg.

I've just read through the threads and gosh, I'm really feeling for you Tess. Really no easy answers to this dilemma. I do hope you get some
rest and possibly clarity on the best way forward for you.
It does seem that dh is really going to have to get to grips with the situation and not rely on you for emotional and physical support. Have no real practical support other than am thinking of you.

When I went to a FPC they gave out 12 condoms along with a 6 month supply of pills. That's just not realistic is it?

If I had a teenage DD I'd keep a pack of emergency contraception in the house (and put it in her suitcase if she was going away).

mamatomany the psychological/emtional effects of hormonal contraceptives can be quite unpleasent but surely this girl is at a vv high risk of PND?

'favoured' condoms lol, at least there's something to smile about on this thread

An ex colleague of mine had herpes and said it was like having razor blades in your knickers. Don't think I'd want that feeling.

Mamatomy the side effects you are talking about have now been discovered to be a common side effect of the depo injection it is no longer recommended for long term use due to a few nasty discoveries. The implant or a ring or patch have no where near the number of reported side effects as the depo injection.