To be really fucked off with my family.

[Huskyflodynamo]

I have a bad cold, the 'feel like death warmed up' type where you can't stop shivering and just want to take to bed til it's all over.

6month old ds has a sniffle and is being totally clingy, whiney and just wants to be carried everywhere. I am obliging because it is my responsibility to make sure his needs are met above my own.

This morning, I asked dh to stay at home because I feel so shit and had no sleep. He went to work anyway and I rang my mum who lives two miles away if she would mind popping for an hour to mind ds while i catch up on some sleep. She declined and said she is tired and has things to do.

I have two sisters who live within 5 minutes drive but they are busy as well. One is having a riding lesson after work and the other is going to a wedding show with her friend.

I absolutely cannot rely on my family to help me out in a situation like this and it pisses me off. My sisters don't have kids so they don't understand how hard it can be. I know people have their own lives to lead but ffs surely family comes first?

oh em gee it wasn't you about the handbag on the kitchen counter spreading feeeeelth and germs was it?

if it was you have given me a complex. Like I needed another...

[hard stare]

Dandy I got annoyed at 'sense of entitlement' about 5 posts in

it is my mn equivalent of 'wow factor' on property shows and gives me terrible urges to punch screen

rrrrrrrrrrrrrr

No... no ...definately not me, mine was a bit before that one, not long though, and I had a different name.

I just inwardly smiled at that thread thinking that I was glad I'd already learnt my lesson

there was a rash of them a while back iirc

Husky, if you have waded through all the lack of sympathy then I hope you are feeling better. I suspect you just wanted some light-hearted 'gosh aren't familes rubbish, poor you, I've been there and it's miserable' type comments to cheer you up. I also naively thought AIBU was for that type of thing, but evidently not! This thread has certanly been educational about MN and has really put me off using something which has the potential to be supportive and helpful.

I did StewieGriffinsMom

Do we not live in a Narcissistic society?

The relevance of this idea to this particular thread is obvious to me and not over the top

There really are no words for this

since when has AIBU been for support? it is to tell you whether you are, in fact, being unreasonable or not. there are other topics on MN for support. don't write off teh whole forum just becasue AIBU lives up to his name.

No I didn't call OP narcissistic

It may be overused but I know what it means (grew up with narcissistic and abusive parents) and believe it is relevant here

Mummy2Robbie iirc there used to be lots of comments asking if the op might have PND on threads like this- which was a bit imo but still arguably well meant

now it's nasty. Like the bit upthread where the op talked about her dad and brother

...don't let it put you off. Just don't look in AIBU. the rest of the site is pure niceness. Honest

yes being sick and having a baby is a nightmare!! I've often had to plod through without any help - but ideally we should all be looking after and supporting each other. Friends and family.

Rose, it's just so small, it's much too small for your grand depression about society. She has a cold, she wants family to help her out, they won't and she doesn't understand why to the point that she's horrible about them.

So everyone who's had a six month old baby and a cold naturally says, well duh. That's life now. There isn't always someone to pick up the slack.

It's not something hugely wrong with society. If you are harking back to some golden age of familial responsibility it's a bit misguided. Men used to not get the day off for a birth, let alone paternity leave. Babies were left in the house while over-worked mothers went to the shops. People managed then, as they could, they manage now.

There is this obsession that even grown up children still need to be mithered.. no they don't, or shouldn't.

i don't understand your post or the beertrix

you don't think babies were left at home alone? maybe not to nip the shop (although i know of one such mother who did this regularly) but definitely to go to work.

I just thought that as Rose says there's something wrong with our narcisistic god can't be bothered to correct that spelling that it has become this way, and used to be different. I suppose she might think it's always been "naricissstic" (god) but that's not the implication.

So you see, I was just saying that if she thinks it was better before, she is misguided. Do you get it? She is misguided because people have always had to get on with things and manage how they could. But now babies and mothers are the new sacred cows and there's this feeling that everything else has to be dropped in their service. Of course mothers who had babies fifteen, twenty, thirty years ago are going to say, well it ain't so. And mothers who've coped with worse are going to say, get a grip. Or a sense of perspective. It doesn't mean we're all going to hell in a handcart.

I can't explain it any more. I'm not quite sure why it's so difficult tbh.

Thanks boo, yes they were left in the house alone. Yes three year olds were sent out to play for hours with under tens to look after them. Yes Dads couldn't get time off for a birth let alone a maternal headcold ho ho.

Good post appletrees.

Be quiet Beertrix, you're making yourself look like a twit.

gosh it's so unusual restful to agree with people or be agreed with

aaaahhhhhh

i think that is the first 'twit' i have ever seen on MN